Long Nitwits Poems
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past knoxville and idaho city there are a pair of adorable nitwits.
townspeople refer to them as kooky oddballs, a couple of twits.
their name is easy to learn. she is backward ditz; he is fritz.
brown eyes are lop-sided, their glances can be the pits.
watch out! cautions their neighbor, they will bore you to bits.
they showed up one day unexpectedly during a neighboring blitz.
I heard they were parisians, but another told me they are brits.
fritz can do a weird almost-hand-stand, and ditz does the splits.
twits do not put on airs; neither abides by the ritz or any glitz.
they eat bland foods like porridge, oatmeal, and plain grits.
calico cats come to them all the time, presenting them with kits.
their fighting is so common, their eyes are swollen to slits.
fritz likes to knit, so their house is full of junk that he knits.
afghans, scarves, hats, potholders, and unusable oven mitts.
ditz does not wash her hair, so it is full of lice, bugs and nits.
also have zits, and they have performed some really weird skits.
High hopes built on imaginations
And human frailties
A meandering mirage on hot tarmac at noon
A recipe for hunger
In hollow voices, whisper winds of expectations among the trees
Drowned by the reality of sunrise
Gaze upon the hills with starved emotions
And welcome the verity of dawn
Expectations take a dive
When reality fails to thrive
Illusion—the gateway to delusion
Expect nothing, avoid disappointment
Spend and be spent, hope for the best
Find solace within
Peace lies only in the deep
Salad of ignorance, emotions and negativity is a recipe for grief
Nourish not the nattering nitwits
Lest you swim in a pool without water
Intertwine twins of triumph and tragedy—
A constant memento of life and death
Purge yourself of dead weights
Happiness lies within
Only extract the worries
Every success has a process
Out of the belly flows contentment—the
Opium ushering upliftment and fulfilment
While all the ribald pranks bubble,
made-up faces grin across conference halls--
botox-filled, pimply holes smoothly done
where bag of word- tricks fumble: and allies
looking like nitwits roar in noisy guffaws
bantering with other co- stooges
whose exchanges tangle in crazed quips.
A showtime of indulgent egos now outwit
each other… these officials unmindful
that polka-dot on noses, foreheads, jaws
concealed by make-overs are now melting:
Just then, a well-groomed speaker bangs
the gavel to end day’s hysterical circus...
tell me, how can inane clowns be worthy
of prime news when all they say are fake!
Contest of Edward Ibeh: Polka Dots
1/21/2019
Laughing Buddha with a tabby on your head,
You will be the death of me, the fern willow said.
All you do is extend ridiculous mirth and joy.
Even when under the influence of this weird boy.
The Laughing Buddha kept up his happy smile.
In many years, he had experienced those who rile.
He knew it was something unhappy entities do.
He would try to give fern willow joy before she was through.
The grasses began to taunt and tease him now.
They wanted to find out why and how.
The laughing Buddha kept up this crazy farce.
The cat jumped down, fell on his ****.
The whole garden was ablaze with curiosity.
What made this Laughing Buddha so wild and free?
He’s not alive, you nitwits, the banyan tree said.
You mean he’s deceased? You mean he’s dead?
They did not understand, so he let that slide.
He liked the Laughing Buddha; it gave him pride.
Don’t worry about them, he told his friend.
His stalwart love for this statue would never end.
The follies of fools
The lord of fools
The fools that are lords
a leader of the damned
Insane the minority of minions
Deplorable and disdained
Blind in the sight of kings and lords
Jester’s of old orange baboons
In golden flossy glossy wigs
Fleeting hair a top fule lords fake façade
In a flock of tweets and Nitwits
Someone said the one eye
man is lord of the blind in the land
of the blind this fool is king
Dressed in nothing but a red tie
& golden fly away sad toupee
The follies of fools a leader
of the damned doomed
And unschooled the folly of fools
the fule lord of one supreme leader to some
Blind in the sight of kings and lords
Burning Republics building empires,
finding legions of cults
a Cult of personality bleeding, pleading
Scheming at the doors of a CLOSED kingdom
tearing apart the fabric of a nation
For the keys to dominion
Someone once said the one eye man
is lord of the blind in the land
of the blind has a fool for a king
Dressed in nothing but Ignorance.
In golden flossy glossy wigs
Fleeting hair top fule lords FRACTURED façade…
Dic: fule (dialectal, chiefly Scotland) fool
I am applying for the consultant position
of Office Manager for which I will audition.
I am undeniably qualified to deal with nitwits
and idiots I will immediately classify as 'twits.'
My solution to deal with those people is fair
It may not be righteous, but I don't care.
If your company is greedy to make money,
it's ok with me. Just give me my check, honey.
I don't browbeat employees with a big stick
when they come in late or say they're sick
I'll crack the whip on any numbskull at work
and there's one less lazy fool I'll call a jerk.
If you think my method is severe over kill,
you're right, because I don't show good will
to jackasses who keep making me mutter
words you would only hear in a street gutter.
I'll get control and do what needs to be done
and I promise I'll try not to pull out a real gun.
I'll need some handcuffs and maybe a jail cell.
Give me free rein and everything will be swell.
My resume' experience speaks for itself.
Once, I've even fired an Elf on the Shelf
I did it without a good reason or just cause
so you can waiver that harrassment clause.
You can hire me now for a trial run.
Keep me on or fire me, but I'm the one
you need to give brainless creatures the boot...
not due to my work ethic, cuz I don't give a hoot.
The world is full of things that vex,
Competitors going for rivals’ necks,
Foes that single you out for no reason
And haters who loathe despite the season.
In the face of all this you should stand out
As a stout brain that is not swayed about
By the malicious winds of cheap spite,
But all this needs you to have great inner might.
You need to refuse to hate those that disgust
And forgive those think you’re as cheap as dust,
All this won’t be easy for the raw mortal creature,
It calls for patience and calm of inordinate measure.
You will give up easily if you are just a common Joe
For you won’t stand the world with its man-made woe,
It’s your God-given onus to tolerate the nearby fool
With unconditional love your only shield and tool.
They say we’ll be rewarded for putting up with this hogwash,
In heaven when the nauseating scalawags fill hell with ash;
But even if this were all some trick to deceive the peaceful race,
Don’t you think ignoring nitwits makes the world a better place?
You hear the term bandied about,
used to justify everything,
this catch-all phrase, ‘social justice,’
its praises some constantly sing.
It has become their shibboleth,
to oppose it is heresy,
should someone not buy into it
you will hear the chorus of “Reeeee!”
They claim it is the moral path,
agree with it or be cancelled,
but even quick examinations
reveals it as a load of bull.
And worst off their bad ideas
undermine actual justice,
since that is individual,
‘social’ justice can never exist.
Human beings aren’t ‘collectives,’
groups themselves are just abstractions,
you do not answer for others,
or pay for the things that they’ve done.
If you look like a known murderer
you don’t go to jail for their crime,
yet these ‘social’ justice nitwits
use this principal all the time!
They claim that if your skin is pale,
then by nature you must oppress,
even if you have done nothing
that entitle others to redress.
They claim that if your skin is dark,
a victim you always must be,
even if you have suffered no crime
and are going through life nicely.
A moral mind would look at this,
say, “F-ck off, leave those guys alone,”
since neither committed a crime,
there’s nothing to condemn or condone.
But to live and let people live
is not something the left abides,
so they go looking for problems,
some evil that they can ascribe.
They scream sh-t like ‘unconscious bias’
to turn good people into fiends,
it doesn’t matter you’ve done no wrong,
they need to make you feel guilty.
They dig out past wrongdoings done
by people who are long since dead,
then scream that, somehow, it’s your fault,
that those sins belong on your head.
But you are not responsible
for a past when you did not live,
these things are no genetic, no,
you’ve no reason to feel like sh-t.
You’re only a criminal if
a crime is committed by you,
and you’re only a victim if
you’ve suffered from crime, that’s truth.
You cannot just look at some group
and declare they are good or bad,
you judge people one at a time,
to not do so is bloody mad...
CONCLUDES IN PART II.