Long Messed up Poems

When I was a child
Everything was magical
Full of mystery and the unknown
I read hundreds of books
The library my haven
My home
Hours upon hours
Night and day
I read and got lost in text
They supplied me with adventures
Secret journeys
Fun...

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Just enough to make it just
I want this to be enough to make this
The last song ever, the last note ever
The last romantically, poetically sad excuse for an apology, epilogue
But I've already messed up the...

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I was skeptically listening 
to a retiring social researcher,
and problem-solving imaginer,
from the American Enterprise Institute;

An Institute
I usually find more destitute
of bicameral consciousness than not,
and thereby with less healthy resonant imagination
than more pathological dissonance.

But, I found...

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Special Agent Alan King arrived in his Buick dragging my husband to Foss park for his failed lie detector test where I wore wires pregnant for the FBI my husband was scared to death after...

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I went against my better judgment, I was flattered not appalled, the only affection that I had ever known was just affection that I didn’t want
By a man that was many years older than me,...

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Verse 1: I'm loving every second of our time together
I'm liking the fact that you aren't a memory, all ablur
I adore you and everything about you
We were meant to be...you came to me out of...

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EarthMama Invites

Without RightDaddy Dominance,
Left EcoMama
and Her still innocent suppressed Children,
share no opposing WinLose
assuming
internalized voices,
just anxious and angry
and fearful feelings
about LoseLose
ZeroZone,
ego and Earth
matriarchal-line 
extinguished.

Because all RightBrain feeling voices
and chemistries
are outside Sacred NatureSpirit
experientially
regeneratively 
cooperative
Patriarchal/Matriarchal Voices
secular and sacred...

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Feel more than free to take a quick tour into my mind's eye
Then, you'll find that you're on my mind and I don't know why 

Dare to wonder Where to wander
Dare to wonder What I...

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“But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet;Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
–“He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven,” by W.B. Yeats 

“I love you...

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V. 1: I have been grimacing lately
I have been loving you extremely
I’m looking forward to going to Oregon
We welcome the sun, we welcome the sun

Pre-chorus: God, have mercy on my weary soul
Have mercy spiritually speaking
Passion...

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Busy time very frustrating watching my 
husband and ciro gargano go over the 
blue prints over and over again during 
the 1984 elections for lake county Daniel 
Furlan Bobby Thompson Ernest Fisher Ciro 
was looking...

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That "FEELING" ...

The one that makes you believe
That everything in your life,
No matter how messed up or negative,
Is actually wonderful ...
The feeling that, for a few hours,
Chases every bad thing in your life away ...
The...

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SONNET 1
                         MY CHRISTMAS WISH TO SANTA
    ...

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{intro} 
One step closer to you
I want to fly into your arms,
My freedom park
My daytime lark 
You're my freedom destiny 
Even when times get scary 
You give me childlike cheer 
Instead of gullible, childish fear
Bullet...

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I Stumble Upon My
Words – I’m
speechless
We were so far away
from each
other…I-I-I’m one
with
r-regret…f-feeling
incomplete…
I thought our love
was as worthless as
the debris…
You smoked me out
like a cigarette…and
y-you left me on the
filthy, messed-up
street…
I thought your kind
of “freedom” would
set us...

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You’re like a backpack, jam-packed with memories of High School’s fun times and hard times…I know I had weaknesses back then; in addition, I had strengths that I still lack
You carry everyone’s weight including my...

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Ahh...ahh...ahh...
If I did a trust fall,
Would you catch me at all?
If the sky was the limit,
Why won't you admit...
Your true colors towards me that meant so much to me?
I just want your wings to fly,...

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                           Expectations high did not pan out  ...

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The Almost Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent Tech God Oisin
Session 3: Tech support notes from the messed up file and mushroom soup case

“Hello this is Oisin. How may I help you?” Oisin says in his polite business...

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September  2017 continues:

Damian was preparing to leave his
Girlfriend's house. Damian said,
His farewell. Then left the Giovanni 
Premises. Meanwhile the Hakim
Family uncles included, concocted a
Crucial crucible plan to get a grip 
On the Damian conundrum....

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[Verse 1]
 Everything you did, I kicked to the dust
 Told me that you loved me, but that wasnt enough
 Tired of bein’ second when you put them first
 You let me down so much,...

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“Without you, now I see
How fragile the world can be
And I know you've gone away,
But in my heart you'll always stay”  –Katie Melua


There is a peculiar feeling I remember experiencing when the news came
...

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I can’t help, but feel kinda restless
Can’t sleep because I’m hopeless
You got to save me from myself, my restful dear
You are asleep in your melodic, swaying chandelier

Prayers please…… 
Give me starlit and moonlit ease
The sun...

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What is a credit score? It is a 3 digit number that companies use to decide “IF” they want to lend you their money by giving you a loan or approving you for a credit...

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My fetal alcoholic bipolar:

“sometimes I experience low anxiety
and act like a happy drunk”

“sometimes,
like when entering new places 
and situations,
I experience high anxiety
and act like a very bad
and mean-spirited drunk
with immense juvenile curiosity and overload,
near total...

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