Long Mein Poems
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A Warped Tree
Today, when not arguing with Walter the Jew
on Facebook or Twitter
the ambiance in the house was surprisingly calm since I got a key to my study in peace to read my latest collection
and found, at times, the poems had an internal rhyme and were little stories
The pity is, I have to write without a publisher and
can't afford to hire one, those I dare to ask run a thousand miles, one of them a poor man, is a lecturer in Udevalla
Last year, I visited a crooked tree so shy its roots curled in bashfulness, and its leaves took an autumnal color. I wanted to know if there was a way for me to help get her more gracious and straight
She took offense and said she was 105.
I felt like pointing out the tree by the drive into our village -an olive tree-is so old there is a possibility Jesus sat under it reporting protest notes to
the priests in the service of the Roman church
One day the came, the uncouth people from the traffic division chopped down ancient history and threw the remains down a drain.
Angrily, I protested to my doctor about the vandals
with my fist hit the table so hard a stethoscope fell to the floor, and then the porter came,
and I was made to leave.
When I came to Portugal, the natural thing was to study and learn the language, but at the time I was wrapped up learning English
The Portuguese language is superbly fitted to Fado
but as a "lingo" for conversation, I fail, but
I knew enough to get married.
The Norwegian vocality sounds like a Dane
trying to talk Swedish and is like wet cement being poured down a ditch dug by Lusitanos, spitting tobacco.
Ach, mein lieber Gott, I have lost many
friends in the last sixty years.
S_ A_ H_ born...
twenty three years ago
today February 4th, 2022
begat about nine months prior,
approximately late April/early May 1998,
she exited thru fully dilated cervix
10 centimeters or just under 4 inches
immediately cherished as a precious gift
her radiant pink flesh did healthily glow
despite developmental delay
observed during babyhood stage,
blessed timely intervention
hallelujah to countless social services
helped bring her up to speed
and in accordance with average statistics
pertaining to population of girls
at various ages of her life
most vital metrics indicated she did grow,
and matured into an attractive young lady
now mindful (courtesy common sense
and valuable life lessons)
said offspring quite aware the necessity
to comply with status quo
unlike this nonestablishmentarian papa,
who frittered away priceless time show
wing measly abysmal track records
regarding academic and employment, though
not necessarily criminal, I barely lived
analogously solely placing big toe
within streaming rush of opportunities
upon reflection, I experience woe.
Thank you immeasurably youngest daughter
valuable Shayna Punim
beloved gifted progeny bold
coaching, daring, encouraging... herself
whether the weather hot or cold
to take positive growth risks
you count as more precious
than fine spun gold
enhancing mein kampf,
whose absence warrants
birth mama or papa to hold
our darling offspring,
when she clamors for attention,
yet prohibitive physical distance
renders impossible mission
to proffer sought after nurturing,
hence the best attempt to lyft
your spirits (if sagging)
finds me driving in one direction
across information superhighway insync with
electronic uber global positioning satellite
merely wishing ye happy birthday
now intent to email thee told.
YOU GO GIRL!
Every February fourteenth,
(reference Gregorian Calendar see
High Middle Ages his Saints' Day)
which combs thee
day after morrow aye decree
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
mine near one and same
mean mein near best buddy
donning Harris tweed plus sundry
other manifold couture to express free
expression like... once upon time
innocently naive barenaked lady
Chatterley young hippy feeling groovy,
albeit (think psychedelic) swiftly tailored
Harry styled vested gentry
twills nonetheless seam, née
upon aforesaid occasion intoxicated spree
formerly honored when animalistic glee
burst asunder courtesy biological key
hormones thawing lovely frozen bones
buzzfeeding, delivering, exuding earthy
primal propensities originally
linkedin with Lupercalia
nonetheless, encompassing various
animalistic, erotic, narcissistic... needs ye
not not necessarily be apprised,
where altruistic festive folk would easily agree
to hunker down no matter
sheepishness prevalent within
wooled wide web re:
guarding Islanders at their homes
Islands named total more'n three
amidst Lewis, Harris, Uist, Barra
and several pertinences, all fertile
like lasses christened Galilee,
yet all known as Outer Hebrides.
Now really as one ewe man
misanthrope to another I advise
Cupid doth surprize
god of desire, erotic love,
hoop fully experienced
before permanent demise,
where mortals whisked no matter
sullen sensate (human and/or other) being
vainly, morosely, and futilely cries
passion play his trademark guise
plus tell tale sign tear streaming eyes
(think head over heels
lovestruck gals and guys)
willingly yoking, where
(of quartz) romancing stone
temple pilot paunches face
(case toward albeit point yours truly) applies
young and old paramours recognize
steeped within storied mythologize
as one after another arrow
(whipped out quiver) guise
nocked, molded then loosed
courtesy once taut than slack bowstring
bedazzles lovers with stars
glistening in their lovestruck blind eyes
any unspoken inapropos prurience,
I eagerly, honestly, and readily, apologize.
I sit on a straight back
red vinyl chair
in a Chinese Take Away
waiting for my beef
and black bean sauce,
pork chow mein and a serving
of special fried rice - hear
from behind a beaded rainbow
coloured curtain the sizzle
and spit of hot oil, the constant
sound of a ladle scraping
the sides of a wok, smell
a symphony of smells
that run a river of saliva
across my wanton tongue -
then silence, seconds
seem like minutes until,
“your order is ready sir”,
and at that moment
all the loveliness
of the world becomes
boxed and cradled
in a Lion Dance labelled
take away carry bag.
Note for American readers.
In Australia we use the term
Take Away instead of Take Out.
Same thing. Not sure of the term
used in the UK or elsewhere.
Greek mythological
drama flourishes,
nee thrives within
noggin of yours truly
gods and goddesses
sporting Hellenic origins
purportedly cavort
higgledy-piggledy
rampantly running ragged
ruminative raconteur
resultant rueful end product
wreckage of present day me
chafing amidst yesteryear's adversities
shadow boxing doppelganger nemesis
fetus in fetu maintaining stranglehold
choking ability to breathe
unsuccessful roundup eradication
resultant mailer daemons
ruling the roost
time and again professional
therapy exorcised futility
psyche plagued with said
crudely sketched hobgoblins
permanently lodged within
fifty plus shades gray matter
mein kampf analogous to siege
and/or civil war
abductor and hostage
terrorist versus negotiators
one and the same person
ideal fecund environment
irresistible nasty brutes
unwilling to forsake
golden opportunity
passive languishing helpless
antisocial bumbling creature
mandate decreed heir extinguished
sentenced eventually commuted
life without parole lifetime
metaphorically imprisoned harsh
punishment solitary confinement
crime synonymous equalled
chance happenstance ovulation
nsync with seminal linkedin
fertilization, impregnation, parturition
essentially random appalling dice throw
courtesy biological roulette
automatic defacto malefactor
abstractly describes lifelong
condemnation, humiliation, ostracization
hence if nothing else
no shortage writing material.
Aah... how great the taste of water...
After lounging in bed until
late morning/early afternoon
we (the missus and I) felt restless
as garden variety buffoon
or think chrysalis itching
to escape encased within cocoon
nevertheless, she mustered hubby
long since retired dragoon
late morning/early after light
clothing he must post haste festoon
he protested against testing
comfort zone merely donning galloon
his self conscious morphology
declaimed repeating honeymoon
embarrassing circumstance,
when caricature artist accentuated
pitiful spindle shanks published
front page see national lampoon
most recent issue or possibly
toothpick legs ought be printed June
a boot six days hence excluding
counting Memorial Day 2020
whereby barenaked ladies
(spouse included) unwittingly ironically,
farcically, and comically forced
skinny dipping under full moon
after newly bride & groom
pledged troth unwittingly nudist beach
entered momentarily devoid
of swimmers, who suddenly at noon
witnessed madding crowd
momentarily oblivious to laughingstock,
one after another burst out guffawing
(at my expense) at picayune
sorry/lame excuse for male
adult *****sapiens peculiar physique
courtesy anorexia nervosa
(when thirteen years old), I caused ruin
permanently stunting psychological
and physical characteristics,
for better part of existence
(mein kampf) uttered lamentable tune.
Absolute zero self worth (the
big goose egg) matter of fact will
state being earnest and frank
going on walk thru Schwenksville
thought person in every
passing vehicle (quite brisk traffic) rill
lee mocked appearance when
espying long haired pencil neck
geek fortunately blessed with
few gray strands deliberately colored via quill
to ad some convincing heft
to boyish good looks, though mill
stone metaphor linkedin with
living little approaching over hill
soon petering into becoming old
and senile, nope never got fill
of teenage romance, I started
dating during early twenties
deterrents to integrate among
including sounding think duckbill
nasal honking, and even hot spell
temps spiking high eighties/
low nineties dressed head
to foot ready for big chill,
especially cuz dehydration less likely.
For a cold take
hot tea and buttery cinnamon toast
Flu? baked custard, very cold,
maybe milk toast with
with butter oozing from hot milk.
Sad, depressed? chocolate,
macaroni and cheese,
or favorite ice cream.
Tired from a busy day,
take-out – maybe egg rolls
and shrimp lo mein, delivered.
Broken leg? Get friends to
bring in a loaded pizza,
have a beer party
Headache? cold gingerale
(cold water on towel for head)
no food!
Homesick? Mom’s goulash
with extra melted cheese
washed down with
glass of wine or vodka and tonic.
Insomnia? At three am
anything in fridge
or pantry, preferably sweet,
like doughnuts, but even
crackers and cheese will do.
For anything else, large
cut-up juicy orange,
chocolate malt milkshake,
or strawberry shortcake.
( bassey voice intro's).....signorina, signorina,
is he hypergamy
no, no,
he loves me
he really really loves me
oh signorina,
oh signorina
might i spend my
days loving you
( the malo).....honey, darling, sweetie
love me tomorrow
love me tonight
sweet heart
my darling lady
my signorina
love me tomorrow
(femalo).....no,no,no!
take your rags and leave
i have separated us
now you can leave
( malo).....no,no,no
my darling
i beg ye my lover
i love you now
if we stay together
(musical blurr)
ha, say ye oh lover
might we find reason
to love
then say my lover
find friends who love us
in love
we need one another
we want to be together
let no one separate us
say you'll leave me never
my love
my love
my lover
we are right for each other
love me my lady
say you'll love me forever
Planting seeds of life - growing self awareness...
(Subtitled: kudos beloved Amelie Beth)
Dilly gents gal lore spellbinding
metaphorically exhuming, ferreting, gleaning...
insightful handy dandy blues clues
unearthing treasure trove motherlode,
(and father lode) eye opening discover re:
visa vis our family of origin ancestry.
Painstaking efforts undertaken
courtesy thee i.e. eldest sister
(age difference between her and yours truly
thirteen months and twelve days)
ye (figuratively) dug deep
within plethora of genealogical database
mine insight piqued
following genetic revelations.
Raw bits (nuggets - comstock
rivalling wealth of Croesus
sowed countless generations ago)
enlightened this protoplasmic broth heir,
(a biological composite dada
elicited factoids ginning
humongous, illustrious, judicious...
awareness, that allows, enables provides...
knowledge linking me deoxynucleic acid
with forebears, whose good n plenti
inherited characteristics, desires
(under the elms), mannerisms,
predilections, quirks, urges,
yearnings, et cetera contra dance,
flickr, golong, kindle, shutterfly...
within mine contemplative,
intuitive, reflective...soul asylum
explaining, informing, liberating...
natural inquisitiveness percolating within,
not necessarily to excuse
deleterious, egregious, infamous...
(hyperbole for poetic impact)
behavior (mine), nonetheless
delighting, educating, fascinating...
assimilating, bridging, semen ting
heritage invariably jumpstarting
dormant desire to acquire
increased comprehension whereby,
I experience surge to learn
greater familiarity affecting
heightened awareness, where
countless questions once incubated
regarding spiritual communion,
where lovely bones of mein kampf
feel linkedin with spirits
of thee dead ancestors.
Hence awesome accomplishment
piecing together (with assistance from relatives)
once puzzling enigma shrouding
past lives (not sainted)
comprising Harris family of origin.
Automobile prohibitive maintenance costs
pitches me pitifully begging for alms
lamenting dog forsaken
melon collie unpleasant circumstances
pleading with outstretched palms
disgraced to beg, perhaps donate
major organ and/or entire body
to ease vehicular qualms
aha... methinks the missus could pose
as ventriloquist after mortician embalms
these lovely bones, but, hmm...
even then post mortem
agitation most likely becalms...
Straitjacketed impasse finds
yours truly going for broke
to nurse our 2009 Hyundai Sonata,
which monetary outlay doth yoke
mine fate heading, née accelerating
at ever increasing speed
emitting plume of smoke
which thick noxious exhaust
would immediately choke
any innocent wheel chaired,
or ambulatory pedestrian,
bicyclist (think Chernobyl),
a nightmare that did woke.
Mein kampf reduced between
a rock and hard place
analogous to trapped betwixt
Scylla and Charybdis
inadequate funds to purchase
newer preowned car,
nor paltry monies to erase
utter nightmare, yes
father did spring me
unexpected mullah, yet
the near future will menace
this dirt poor aging baby boomer,
and his moderately significant other,
she too needs more than solace
lacking gainful employment and
financial resources, maybe brazen
to broadcast such
amidst digital populace
such tsuris (Yiddish meaning
trouble or woe; aggravation)...
Just letting of figurative steam
emblematic of this easily
intimidated fellow with decent
original (long "e") meme
all throughout his life shouldered,
or voluntarily stationed to sidelines
courtesy crème de la crème
topnotch competitors within
human race attain the
supposed "American dream"
or similar facsimile thereof
finding one fool on the hill
gagging at extreme
pauperism, yes mainly linkedin
to series of unfortunate events
(Lemony Snicket would ogle,
envy chiefly hanker ring)
hashtagging me more supreme
regarding amassing adversity.
Thank you stranger near or afar
understanding how or why
Sylvia Plath crafted The Bell Jar
a cult classic, I would never
attempt to duplicate, my par
for the course literary contribution
might... humph earn me one lone star
if ever dabblings in scratching
out feeble efforts courtesy this word Tsar.