Long Let go of Poems
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Proverbs 18:12 “Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is humility.”
In the stillness of my senses, I hear a voice
the voice – often distant, giving me its opinion
when I look at the world and see,
it is me that looks to be, the one I hear
telling me to give into the temptation to be
self-regarding, self-seeking, self-centered
greedy with my time, my kindness, my gifts
greedy, secretly greedy – so no one can see
what I often lack is an altruistic sincerity,
kindness that serves, giving into the voice
that is not really me – it is the One who I know
makes a way through the ego’s greed,
into the beautiful of mercy and grace, completing me
with a sensitivity that can only be found
when looking into the heart that has been reformed
by the gentle hand of One who died and bled,
One who spoke to my spirit when He said…
“let go of your pride – let go of your greed”
“listen to the wisdom of generosity”
“listen to the insights of One who died on a tree”
“listen to the understanding of compassion”
He told me that love is more than the voice I hear –
the voice that tells me to make myself clear
when all is said and done, it tells me to hear
the selfishness of my tone, the egotism
that comes from knowing – it’s what I want, what I crave
what I covet, what I desire…
that are the most important to me when I ignore
the voice deep within – the voice I hear, when
I hear the love that rests in my spirit
when I let go of my pride, and hear what He’s revealing
through a compassion, a grace, an unending faith – love
that comes to say…
on the cross, He made a way
on the cross, He came to say
whatever comes, just kneel and pray
to the One who refused to be self-seeking
with His love, His gift to all people…
He silenced the doubting, the darkness, the greedy
With LOVE – unconditional…
He taught us the meaning, of listening to that voice
the voice – the selfless pleading…
spoken by the Creator who had a plan
to restore each soul and I know He can
free us from our pride, our selfish greed
change our entire lives, silence our egos
and remind us what it means
to love beyond our greed – to love because all we need
is this Jesus who came to breathe…
life into those who believe, faith into those who see
the love that will ever be… the answer for you and me!
Today’s the day they bury the woman who birthed me.
Not my mother.
There is no sadness in my thoughts.
No tugging at the heart.
The tender bond between a mother and daughter we did not share.
She was merely a woman in the world of billions who chose life over abortion only to give me torment and agony during the life we breathed in air together.
I will not miss her. I will not cry over her. I will not give credit to her.
This woman never loved me. Never consoled me. Never gave me the warm hugs a little girl needs to have. Never kissed my forehead in loving affection. Or told me I was beautiful inside and out.
She never encouraged my dreams, my goals, my aspirations.
She never instilled confidence that every little girl needs to survive in this cruel world.
She never taught me the essentials of being a woman as I emerged into one.
She never said, “I love you” gently into my ears.
She didn’t protect me from the devil, who night after night, raped and tortured me.
I was the enemy. The one who invaded her sacred vow to my father. The other woman I will always be. Not the daughter she was blessed with.
I clawed my way out of the hole she so viciously threw me down in. I let go of the victim and embraced the survivor.
She can never hurt me again. Never pour salt in the wound. Never hurt my daughter as she wounded me.
Somehow I was given the grace to shower my daughter with love and affection. I pour my love all over her. I console her when she is sad. I embrace her with hugs. I kiss her forehead with loving affection. I tell her how brilliant and beautiful she is inside and out.
I encourage her dreams and goals in life and push her towards her aspirations.
I have made sure she has confidence that will get her through challenges in her life.
I have taught her how blessed she is to be the young, emerging woman she is becoming. I have taught her to embrace her body, her mind, her soul.
I tell her every day how much I love and adore her and how much I am blessed she is mine to keep.
I protect her. But also allow her to fall so she can learn to pick herself up.
I let her know she is my everything and my life with her is an adventure.
I am blessed beyond all treasures.
I am nothing like the woman who birthed me. We only share DNA.
I will forever be a motherless daughter. But I will not be a daughterless mother.
Form:
Myrtle Parker
Myrtle Parker lived on the Riviera,
That’s the English one not the French.
Her favourite tipple is Red Currant Cider,
Only beverage her thirst would quench.
Never did she marry no husband,
Preference for life single and free,
Though kept two doggy companions,
Twin Westies, Florence and Zebedee.
Miss Parker was a gatherer and hoarder,
Antiques, curios, lots of impractical tat.
Her catchphrase was somewhat familiar,
“I‘ll find a good use for that.”
Tumbledown Cottage name on the gate,
Aptly called for badly required repair.
The man from Devonshire Council,
Shakes his head in anguished despair.
Oh, dear Myrtle what are we to do,
I cannot see the wood for the trees,
Environment Officer is calling today,
He doesn’t like cockroach and fleas.
Myrtle lives close to Muscle shell beach,
Small cove of shingle and coarse sand,
Opposite the Cat protection league,
Where she buys new clothes second hand.
One summer had a house full of Kittens,
That grew into fully grown cats.
They left her in search of new comforts,
Plagued by visits of large rodent rats.
Myrtle decided on a radical clear out,
To make way for a new feather bed,
But could not let go of her treasures,
So continued sleeping on the sofa instead.
Seventy years old, obstinate and proud,
Devon Council man returned to her door.
“This house is making you poorly my dear,
Regretfully you cannot live here anymore.
Oh, dear Myrtle here’s what we’ll do,
Move you into a comfy town flat,
Environment Officer is calling today,
Condemn your cottage, so sorry about that.
Myrtle Parker was born in this house,
Her father he worked on the boats,
Mother stayed home baking bread,
From freshly ground buckwheat groats.
Tumbledown cottage is full of memories,
Though can’t find many for the clutter.
Diminutive rooms two up two down,
Walls dampened by broken pipe gutter.
If I have to go then take me in a box,
She chained herself to the newel post.
I’ll defend my rights for all I’m worth,
Then haunt Council man as his ghost.
Council man arrives excited with keys,
For Miss Parkers new urban home,
But Myrtle had been true to her word,
and perished on the staircase all alone.
Oh, dear Myrtle what have you done,
Your new flat was shiny and clean,
Environment Officer is calling today,
Demolition boss with bulldozer team.
Foundation of the piece.
Is life just a purging of the soul and to ascend to a higher plane of existence,
do you have to let go of everything and everybody you once loved or knew?
To do so?
Or would you wait to be called to join them if separated because you couldn't let go of your old life?
Title:
Unable to let go
(A lone raspy voice talks in the fog as it slithers in - to a hidden audience)
I crossed over
In March
On the fifth
In the year of our Lord
1902
And all these sad years
I've sat
Patiently waiting for her
I've watched
Our old beautiful world
Burn
Through the blackest of fire filled nights
Through two world wars
Witnessed hearts bleed
With incomprehensible need
Seen corruption and illusions unfold
Hand in hand
With greed
Out in the warm and cold
As the seduced welcomed evil into their strongholds
Watched shining stars fall
Sat thinking of my fate
As I wait
Pining asking myself
When will she call me to walk and join her through that silver gate
That I look to
Down this dark road
Every second
Whenever I think
Of her
For I've looked in
Old memories that once beckoned
Explored all the seconds and who knows
Linked to being found guilty of sin
Chased paper boats
With endless time
Just hoping
She's coping
In Heaven
And not broken in two
Like me
In this Deep Divine
But still
Perched
Upon this rock
Chained like Prometheus
I
Wait
Even though the Mendli
You lot listening
Think I'm crazy
But my old Love
Still cuts me open
Making me cling to an old life
With wild dreams of a new beginning
So angels
Forgive me
But hear me
Quick
Take my hand
And lead me home
To her
Give me the Star Fire
If this can't happen
Or you can't do it
For I fear
I can no longer
Wait
For the opening of that gate
So let me cross the burning sand barriers
Step straight through the eternal fire
For is waiting for true love
The price
Worth all this pain
As one
Moves on
And one remains
Show me a happy couple
And I'll show you the fire that ignites
And it's that light
That I pray
Keeps carrying me
On horseback
To my beloved wife
Throughout
All these
Endless nights
As I fight Father Time
To return to that old life
(C)
Copyright John Duffy
Learned so much know so little, feel in touch with the symbols
of the underground, profound insights into light and sound
i found, wisdom of a higher order, in the schism of the mind’s recorder.
What i’ve seen what i’ve heard about prying open the third.
I, said i’m not afraid to follow
Where the information goes my attention flows
Like the river-sky that nobody knows
Spinning round i found even deeper it goes.
Sometimes i wonder how i made it this far
Then i remember i’m an awesome examplar
Destined for greatness, reaching for stars
As visions of the future coincide with dreams of the past
i make sense of chaos, meaning of wonder
Not to let dualism tear me asunder, i cry
Why me, right here right now?
Is there any balance to be found?
In the world, dark as night light as day, listen to me when i say:
It’s OK. To let go of what you know is crucial to a brighter tomorrow.
Empty the cup, fill the heart, have a blank slate and restart
No fear, build it back up, shed a tear for your handywork
Formless like water i think you really ought to
Know what it’s like on the border between fire and ice
Yin and yang, see all things twice it’s a beautiful thang
To know eyes of gray see a bigger picture and the best of both worlds where lies will never get ya
Journey through the deep void, flying like an asteroid.
Annoyed. Ethereal like, a reality inside hidden in plain sight
Dismissed by academics, you know i just might
Have to lead a horse to water, force it to drink, if i could i’d take it to the brink
And the cutting edge of what it thinks, to diffuse, dissolve, and dismantle the bars, nets, and bonds
Holding in place illusions of waking life, stealing dreams as you sleep, intentional strife
Distracting, take no notice, center and ground, all ideas have value and virtue abound
Trust in the middle ground, flip a coin, take a leap
You never know what’s waiting round the corner, life is cheap
But time is short and is Love is brief so make the most of it
Make the right choice, despite the noise, hear the timid within
Use your voice, find your poise, be the spirit therein
Lead by example, a beacon for your peers
Chin up and throw away all the tears, negativity and doubts
Take Action. Be the change you want to see that’s what it’s all about.
© 2016 Ash: of the Grimshaw family – All Rights Reserved.
My convictions refuse to give any of my poetry’s limelight to horoscopes or the like because these go against my belief in the Son of God, the Word of God and the grace of God. Because I don’t believe in horoscopes, and actually am against them as they are sinful and against God’s instructions, I won’t be using the title chosen by the contest sponsor. I do love Silent One though and will offer my poem as a reflection of that love, even if it is omitted from the contest because of the title. God bless you all.
“We are all petals of imperfection sharing the same sun” - Silent One
Tears fall quietly,
Remembering the heart’s seasons,
Glistening through the skies,
Like the richest purity,
Twilight bleeding into songs,
Meant to bless, the heal, to say…
Heaven is but moments away,
So we wait, on bended knee,
For the joy that we’ll soon see,
Joy beyond what we might dream,
Joy alive, like the sun’s glow,
Like the moon’s slow climb,
Like the moment He was mine….
Tears kiss my cheek,
Dewlike and refreshing, aching,
Expressions of faith, hope, love,
The silence of a clear, cool night,
Abiding in the soul who knows,
His love just grows – it grows and grows,
Serene and satisfying, spiritual sanctions,
Erasing the fears, the tears, the years…
Before I was sure that what I am feeling,
When He is with me, when He reveals Himself,
Through the bird’s morning songs,
Through the firefly’s dance in the dark,
Through the effortless music that invites…
Hearts to hear the trees as they talk,
Souls to feel the grace who speaks soft,
Spirits to taste the love that stirs hope…
Tears glisten on my heart, flowing,
As the winds pick up speed, rushing,
Toward the moment when I first believed,
He is the One who made light so I see…
He is the reason for my heart’s peace,
He is the reason for my soul’s devotion,
He is the reason for my spirit’s praise.
Tears never let go of the way they can say…
Though so imperfect, my love – I will pray…
Beyond my flaws and failures,
Beyond my many imperfections,
There is a story of God’s Son creating a hope,
Beyond what I might have expected,
A faith far greater than I’d ever predicted,
A love that is alive like the fire living inside…
Because He created my best life…
Because He became the sacrifice,
Because He surely is the bread of life!
Hey you,
I know what you are going through
Trying to stand tall and strong
While a deep rooted pain arising from within
Is eating you from the inside
You don’t know what is causing it
You don’t know how long it will hurt
But through all the pain and hopelessness
You still smile
Hey you,
I see the tear stains on your cheeks even after you brush them away
I wish you wore them with pride
Like battle scars or war paint
For every moment when you don’t give in to those thoughts running in your head
You become a warrior
Hey you,
I know self-worth is a foreign concept for you
You think you are not good enough for them
For her
For your dreams
Or for life itself
But you are wrong
They are waiting with open arms
She is waiting with an open heart
Life is waiting with all the opportunities you desire
Let them in
For if they thought they didn’t deserve you
They wouldn’t be waiting
For the moment when you are ready
Hey you,
I know those days of hopelessness
When the pain becomes too much
When you feel like running away
From everyone and everything
When you feel like running away
From yourself
Just remember
No matter what
Come back home
Hey you,
I know those times
When you think too much
Worry too much
And don’t want to fight anymore
During those times, just remember
It will be fine
How do I know?
Because I have been through it too
Carrying the burden of the world’s opinions
On my shoulders
I lived every moment in anxiety
Had trouble sleeping through the night
Even though my nightmares felt more comforting than reality
I felt alone and defeated too
I had been broken
But then I learnt
To sing a little louder
To dance a little crazily
To let go of the burden of other’s opinions
And most importantly
To laugh a little more freely
I have learnt
That I don’t always have to be the best
Just the best version of me
That I don’t always have to be strong
That I shouldn’t be scared to cry
And wear my scars with pride
As they have made me stronger
So here I stand
Waiting for you with an open heart
So let me share your burden and lighten your shoulders
Let me give you a light if it feels to dark and cold
Let me make you a warm cup of tea for I know you are tired
I just want you to know
You will be ok
So hang in there
And enjoy this moment
Spring is right around the corner
~ (~) ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqTLlHkfSC4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7xUZkKd58c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXJWkB8ODAQ
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~ (~) ~ (~) ~ (~) ~
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If I were to have my way; the welcome of-those
bygone days, then I'd be sure they would know.
My hopes the fairest dreams of all; were all I wanted to
share - the ones held so dear that I couldn't let go of for
anyone - but them.
As plane rides come to mind jet setting daily qualms God's
buried grace the quiet suicides, was all that came of those-days,
and because I have come to find, parachutes are an option-not
only for those that are living... but are expressly offered for the
worn walking alone and weary within themselves already reeling
from their regrets -
and so it is I believe God being the catalyst for my life, a show-
of His greater eminence and Sovereignty - mercy -
because I too exist myself in a free fall over this valley of the-
dead - and-so it has become for me my own personal, peculiar-
quirk of twisted providence, the evidence of my fate that all
circles are not the same or brand entirely, nor an entity-
within themselves... completely whole - because my-
experience has shown that they too, given
the-proper-vexing, like me -
can be broken... .
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nePSpOlLfYY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTzDAMf33Jo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F2zl4LqSlg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDQc6SMNwgY
~ (~) ~ (~) ~ (~) ~ (~) ~ (~) ~ (~) ~ (~) ~
Verse 1- It’s like I’m here in the past, A depiction of first but I’m coming in last, I know you wanted this so disregard my regret,
As I slowly lite this bowl imma toast a couple to you, cause ain’t no one got me like you got me addiction it’s true, you been by my side since my first steps my first breath you changed my life so no regrets, I got a feeling you’ll be there till I ain’t got nothing left, your my pain my misery my dreams right out the door, when I was scared to fly you clipped my wings now I don’t know how to soar.
Chorus- I’d change but then you wouldn’t
notice
My shame don’t fall right In front of me
My tears fall cause I don’t know how to be
I’m falling out I’m back to none my feelings fade I save this one calling out I need your help with my last breath I scream it out.
If I tried would you even notice me
Cause my blame it don’t fall right in front of me
I’d cry cause I know you wouldn’t miss me
Verse 2- I guess feelings have changed but I stayed the same. This name they don’t know it unless you are involved the game done changed it seems I’m a problem to solve. It ain’t my ways, it ain’t the same in fact if you weren’t involved this chapter wouldn’t have no ink at all. I’m bleeding out I’m fading fast I’m almost to the point of no return so save your self the curtains calling my last breath my last steps the encore is falling.
Chorus-
I left but you wouldn’t let me be
If I changed would you even notice me
Cause my shame falls right in front of me
I’m falling out I’m back to none my feelings fade I save this one calling out I need your help with my last breath I scream it out.
If I change would you even notice me
You said you’d be the one to better me
You lied now I can’t see the same
I’d cry but I don’t think their missing me
Verse 3- I pictured and envisioned a different path but I’ve hit from the first to my last. I promise this new bottom will be my new last, I was destined to fall now I’m destined to soar I put my faith in my something greater now you’re gonna watch me fly
Chorus- I changed and you wouldn’t notice me
I’m scared but not like I use to be
Cause this time I’m scared of positivity
You asked why
And I said cause I let go of you
I change for what’s inside of me
What’s inside of me
He’d had a hard life, with lots of worries and many medical bills to pay
It all started he said, when his wife became ill, on that sad, spring day in May
He tried to keep it all together for her, so she wouldn’t have to worry
She was so sick and frail, then her mind slowly became very blurry
She hung on for her life, but over time her memory slowly began to fade away
“It was such a long hard time”, he said, “Then an Angel took her home on a warm July day”
My heart was breaking as I pensively sat, listening to him quietly talk
With tears in our eyes, we sat together, then I asked if we could go for a walk
“People always pass me by,” he said, “As if I’m not even standing there”
“You’re the only one,” said he, “Who’s taken the time to even show you care”
“I don’t want their sorrow or pity”, he said, “Just some friendly care and love”!
“I lost my wife and my life, when an Angel took her from above”
“Never a tear in their eyes, or a friendly smile, never offering to lend a hand”
“What if I was an angel?” he said, “Sent from God and no one lent me their hand”?
After we left that cafe on that hot day in September
I found a tiny emblem of an angel in my jacket pocket Something he must have left for me in order to remember
Let this be a real good lesson to all of us, as a test of our brotherly love
You never know if that homeless beggar is an angel sent from above
I always think this to myself whenever I see a person in need
“Are they an angel unaware looking to me for a helpful deed”?
Stop and listen to the call you hear, the one your heart’s been given
Help those you see, take up their cross help them while you’re still living
Whenever passing by someone you see in need, try to let go of your greed
Stop and heed your heart, give them a hand and do them a helpful deed.
It’s been three weeks now, since I’ve seen Sam standing on that street
I've been so worried I stopped and asked many others that I meet
“Has anyone seen that man named Sam, who stands alone on this corner”?
When no one seemed to know, I asked my friend, that small café owner
He told me that he’d seen Sam just the other day
“It seemed odd”, he said, “But he never even looked my way”
A couple days later, I happened to read a short story in our local news
It told of a homeless man named Sam, where they’d found only his clothes and shoes