Long Jerk Poems
Long Jerk Poems. Below are the most popular long Jerk by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Jerk poems by poem length and keyword.
All afternoon I waited in at my house for you
But you didn’t show up and the air turned blue!
Called the servicing and maintenance department …
‘Didn’t turn up’ today was my loud lament!
Eric the engineer will be here, but it wont’ be until tomorrow
Four on the dot I’ve been promised or I’ll give him sorrow!
Getting agitated, as I’ve had to take more time off work
He better arrive today … I’m ready to strangle the jerk!
I waited and waited and he still didn’t show
Just phoned again they said sorry Eric’s very slow!
Keeping my temper was a VERY hard thing for me
Let’s make a firm appointment for tomorrow at three
My nerves were frayed I was getting annoyed
Now the doorbell rings, I am really overjoyed!
Opening the door and I see Eric is standing there
Pecs like a bodybuilder… all I could do was stare!
Quickly I invite him inside to try and fix my cooker
Really glad he’s arrived, as Eric’s a real good looker
‘Sorry’ Eric says but I must call back later with a spare part
Then you can cook me dinner - I think I’ve captured Eric’s heart!
Alphabet Soup Contest Sponsored by Kim Merryman
09~02~16
Senselessly, you talk
You ramble on...ears do bleed
Listen to the heart stomps
Thoughtlessly, you think
You smell the stench of ancient Dust and sand...it sinks
Into your nostrils
Suddenly, a change of mind
Buds into forced change
Consideration
Is what you don't have right now
Gained recognition
You'll gain back your pride
As long as confidence rules
Get humility!
Good qualities rust
You kicked me into the dust
Bust good moves - a mist
Stolen sensation
Don't worship vain gods, just Him
Revealed sullen feet
Barefoot to the core
Cats don't have 9 lives, but more
Carve your eyes on trees
Feline fleas bite me,
Sucking up the bitter blood
Innocent, good blood
Not bad boy gone good
I have done so many wrongs...
~~~Drifting away-ay~~~
Press your paw prints here
Match it up with my sandals,
Sullen like my cheeks
I turn the other cheek,
Knowing that my bodyquake
Ain't on fleek...fooled geek...
Jerk, nerd, geek, turd, dumb -
Those insults don't mean a thing
Some terms above - smart!
Friends are on a ship
But, it rocks back and forward -
Kicking off sandals,
The waves carry them
Instead of float, they sunk...ah!
The shore is no more
We transported stuff
From wild sea to reckless sea
We trade and give up
Barrels of wheat grain
And buckets and buckets of...
Gold that never sinks
Topics and subjects
Changed in a blink of an I
Eye still hear my ex,
E-e-Echoing
Through the blasted breeze of please...
Look at these paw prints
Tend a gorgeous garden...
You're observing these details;
At last, seeing truth !
Take a Knee
By Franklin Price
9/28/2017
Take a knee to praise the Lord
Not for discord, we can't afford
Not in the venue of your work
Play football there, don't be a jerk
Don't use the flag to have your say
That's not, at all, the American way
That's not the way you should connect
When you're protesting disrespect
If you want the world to change
And think police should rearrange
Contribute your excessive pay
To help things turn the other way
To take a knee and end it there
Does nothing to make others care
You've used the flag that lets you play
I just have one more thing to say
If you want to end this plight
Then use your money to fight the fight
End disrespect that's more than crass
If you continue, kiss my ass
If you have read this and agree
Send it to your friends for me
Then get down on your bended knee
Pray for change, in the bad we see
Being Sold Down the River?
Near 80 years ago it has been
Another Jerk wanted to make his country great again
America first has been used before
It was a commie ploy to keep the U.S. out of the War
Over 6 million Jews were gassed or shot
Who’s going to end up in his burial plot?
Both started out with the same trend
Replace everyone with family and friend
They will do and say anything for power
This one wants to rule from his Ivory Tower
Don’t worry about fighting with the NRA
He will make sure there’s nothing to take away
We are being sold out by being in his trance
Wakeup or learn that funny little Russian dance
Take your money and buy Vodka stock
That way you might not be in hock
Learn to speak Russian and don’t fail
For I hear its cold in a Siberian jail
Keep your mouth shut and speak not
If you speak out, you could be shot
Elections will be no more
It doesn’t matter who you vote for.
2/28/2018
By: Sonny Roper a retired U.S. Navy military veteran
and moi (me)
Old man hands, rope-bitten, tough as reef—
Cast out hope with each line’s heave.
Dawn broke red over Gulf Stream bone,
The sea, she whispered, leave it alone.
Tug. A jerk. Then nothing but weight—
Like pulling on the edge of fate.
It ran deep, godless, cold and true,
A thing too big for a world this blue.
Reel sang like a drunk in pain,
Salt in my eyes, sun on my brain.
The boat spun slow in its quiet fight,
While silence grew from a vanished bite.
I lost it—yes. Not just a fish.
It took something a man can’t wish.
A piece of soul with silver scales,
Gone where the dark tide never tells.
I lit a smoke. I let it go.
Surely there is a phantom here
As I jerk my head in sudden fear
Praying for those I hold so dear
Sensing movement that is very near
If it happened just the one time
I'd dismiss it as nickel-and-dime
But more than once - has to be sublime
And this happens in the daytime
Birds on the feeder are not shaken
And my senses are not mistaken
So this cannot be godforsaken
But prayers the phantom has a stake in
We do not know how we should pray
So this phantom helps us in His way
With groanings we cannot hear or say
Interceding for us as we pray
I must testify to the Spirit's aid
His assistance is deeply laid
Great care and effort powerfully made
Our prayers to the Father conveyed
I’ve started school
There isn't much to say
I make friends
I go to classes
I feel funny
Something came undone
The year I was away
I don’t like people
Thanksgiving
The first time in a year I see HER again
But according to mom
HER is now HIM
HE’s the same as ever
But something is different
Was HE always this rude?
A couple months later
We meet for Christmas
HE’s there too
I’m not imagining it
Back to school
I start to realize
HE’s always been this way
How long has this gone on?
I consult my parents between classes
HE’s been like that since they knew HIM
Only I didn’t notice
HE abused me as well
Its painful to see HIM
At holidays
I try to be civil
HE continues to be a jerk
School is going well
I met a boy
He gave me a bear
I think we might go out
Its Holiday again
HE shows up
With the friend HE’s been toting around since High school
She talks to me on HIS behalf
It’s pretty weird
Me and the boy
We are enjoying our holiday
HE tries to create a rift
Between me and the boy
HE’s definitely always had a way
Of reminding me that I can't be special
And everything I do is less than
But lately HE is pathetic
And I believe in myself
And I can’t figure out how to feel
He is "half a bubble off of centre"
More than "A few bricks short of a load"
He is not a Prince worth kissing
He is more of an ugly toad.
Some think he is "Rock Solid"
A veritable "Mountain of a man"
Instead he's a snake Replacing a ladder
Nothing but a "flash in the pan"
You'll have to "hit the nail on the head"
For "he's not the sharpest tack in the box"
If you don't want this jerk to catch you
I recommend "pulling up your socks
If you think I was "born yesterday"
Or "I've got nothing to lose"
Instead of "Drinking the koolaide"
You musta been guzzlin the booze
For I am "the man of your dreams"
Look my way I'm "Love at first sight"
Forget that other "good for nuttin" fella
I'll "rock your world" "forever, a day and a night!"
‘Twas the night before Christmas and I’ve gone and broken my big toe,
I slipped and fell and injured it, in the freshly fallen snow!
I was carrying the Christmas tree, the one that set alight
Though the chap in the hardware store swore the lights would be alright!!
I’d gone to get some batteries, triple A, I was assured,
By the chap at the hardware store, whose knowledge I applaud,
But my smoke alarm is double A, and so it didn’t work,
When the Christmas tree set on fire and my wife called me a jerk!
But you haven’t heard the worst of it, I almost dare not tell,
Because all of the Christmas presents, set alight as well.
You see we keep to our tradition, put the gifts under the tree
And to add insult to injury was the vicinity of our settee.
The only saving grace was that our tv did not perish,
So I’m sat upon the floor, at least I’ve got the films to relish,
With remote safely in hand I search the films I most desire,
But the message on the screen says ‘your subscription has expired!’
The Night Before 2 Poetry Contest
Date. : 4th December 2019
Sponsor. : Joseph May
transmitted trashy talks
(partially presented pablum pertaining
particularly - president ***** (PAC -
phallic action cum mitt tee)
portfolio playboy philandering)
baneful boorish boastful bullheaded
Brobdingnagian beastie boy balks.
conspicuously cavalierly crudely curtly
cavorts, capitulating, claiming,
championing crying chauvinistic
concupiscence, coital cupidity caul
king crooked cowboy cakewalks.
Donald daringly, dastardly, defiantly,
demonstrably, deplorably, deprecatingly,
devilishly, divinely dumbfounded,
duplicitously desultory, debauched, duckwalks.
eccentric effrontery, egregiously enervating,
excitedly exculpatory, extremely evil eyestalk.
"fake," faultily fervently fiendishly flagrant
fool, frightful.
gaffe galling, gamesome gawker, generating
gerrymandering.
harboring hectoring heinously hellishly
hideously horrendously horrible hulk.
ignominious illicit ilk, imbecilic immodest
immoral impetuous, impishly impudent,
incarcerate, incinerate indecently, indecorous,
iniquitous, intently intolerant, irascible
irksome, itching ii incite iv iiiiii ix intercourse izards.
jowly jackass jackdaw jackknifing jaywalking
jumping jerk, jilting jinn.
knowingly keeping kryptonite, kinky Kardashian
kvetches, kris kringle ken kool, kissing kitty,
kosher kumquats kippered, k-nine kooky korps,
kowtowing ku klux klan kinsfolk.
legal leafstalk lawlessly locked, lacerated,
lambasted, languished lost lively lust,
limped, legal levity limited.
menfolk made macho mission. many moons
monthly mandate marked maybe mars,
mercurial maladroit monkey manumission modified
modus mystifying maze moonwalk.