Long Introspectionheart Poems
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To Pen a Poem
I used to think in rhythm and rhyme
It plagued the very heart of me
I could not walk or look or sit
My thoughts collected
And to meter they would fit
My mind would wander in
multicolored hues
I looked at life from
a different view
Time marched in and busyness came
My time for poetry seemed to wane
Eventually the passion it did leave
But the healing power that
I did need
I found it
when I
didn’t see
so much emotion inside of me
So much the gift I was given
To heal a heart in rhyme and rhythm
>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<
She is heavenly beauty incarnate and all that men could dare to dream. She speaks in murderous silence and causes echoes wherever she goes.
She does not walk no, no she glides upon the ground each step a blessing to the soil and the lining on the stream. Hearts pound and minds sing aloud to the whisper of greatness that each good man knowns.
The scent of her skin mocks the aroma of a thousand roses and the breeze longs to perpell her smell like heat in the desert.
And when she opens her mouth to speak her words, the melody and harmony in each word creates a trance.
Your left there trapet and agreeing to every gesture u see her make and full of life all you desire is her presence for dessert.
Lost and captivated, intreguied beyond saving and right as your mind and conscious fades away you remember.
The lonely nights and happy mornings the cold bed and warm heart you once had right before you are one word away from giving in you open your eyes and see.
You see all you ever wanted infront of you but all you need fading away in the background vapourising like a silent whisper and right at that moment you see the serpent of your ambition and the dragon of your desires.
As she leans of you to take away you last form of resistance you see all your hope and tranquility vanish and you know in your heart that you were amongst the fools who traded pleasure for destiny and then......your no more but a memory as significant as the morning dew.
Form:
Walking through the darkness
of the madness in my mind
I stumble on the pieces
of the twisted thoughts I find
I think about the way I am
and what I'll never be
as I sort through the wreckage
of what once was known as me
Searching for the sunshine
I am drowning in the rain
submerged in black emotion
I'm infused with all it's pain
There is no way I can escape
this hell inside my head
and though I am still breathing
I've become the living dead
In my heart I'm grieving
for a life I'll never know
I'm begging for my freedom
as I feel my madness grow
I am praying for redemption
as I choke on bitter tears
but I cannot find forgiveness
as I'm swallowed by my fears
I wonder if they see it
when they look into my eyes
I'm torn apart and weakened
as in silence my heart cries
and all the feelings that I hold
are suffocating me
as they cut and claw my mind
until they're all I see
Time is rushing by me
I am tired, growing old
the winds of change are blowing
and their bite is harsh and cold
I keep fighting for my freedom
but my freedom I won't find
as long as I am living
in the madness of my mind
Living with my madness
is the only life I know
and so much time is wasted
as my useless teardrops flow
I don't need to see tomorrow
should it be just like today
while I'm living in my madness
I'm not living anyway
Note: This was written after a bout with my depression and all is well! To quote a dear,
beloved friend, I am “Making lemonade”! Love, Robin
Driving home from work staring at the city streets
Streaming through the night listening to the radio
Captive to a song, thinking 'bout where I'm headed##
What do I want out of life??
Sinking in the driver seat I stare into the night
Following the headlights in-front of me
Doing a bit of soul-searching, some introspecting>
Wondering why I've been so confused: lost in a sea of fog???
My mind is clouded, my heart feels jaded///
Staring in the mirror, I ponder...
I speak of love without truly knowing what it means to be in love((()))
A lovesick addict--finding my fix with pen in hand & heart to match
Igniting the page with words of unrequited devotion
I imagine myself unlovable; lost in the woodlands of my heart"""
There's only been one who I've thought worthy of my love
His heart entwined with mine
Suffocating in the arms of time
My heart longs for a love that surpasses my own
What I'm looking for is a guy who can make me laugh
Who can quiet every uncertainty with just a breath***
Who has a tender-loving heart, who takes the time to listen...
To inquire about all things
Stumbling over fallen trees & bended knees I fall into sleep{{}}
Waiting for the day when I can finally dance.
We reap what we sow
but that is not concrete defined.
Karma is a spiritual law
That should not keep us confined.
Its how we choose to live our lives
and the affect we have on others.
Sometimes goodness comes of it
When you entwine yourself with brothers.
Forget the past sins that you've made
Forgive your heart and wipe clean
Start anew on any day
Create a brand new scene.
We sometimes keep our real soul
locked tight inside our brain.
Afraid to take a chance when
we might be labeled lame.
Yet nothing is lame or silly or dumb
If your true to your heart.
I don't believe in coincidences
Its fate that plays the lead part.
Do we ever take the time to sit
peaceful in the quiet.
Instead of running overtime
with no thought of desire.
We push our sensitivity aside
to block all hurt
Instead we wind up
acting more divert.
This routine snowballs larger
till we are in over our heads.
We need to defrost the cold
And open our wings to spread
Turn up the heat
Feel for a change
Take old painful situations
Turn it into a joyful range.
It might sound a tad bit hard
But try and open your mind
Listen to your heart instead
Enjoy and walk refined.
Another day comes
another one goes
and when it will end
no one really knows
time marches faster
with each passing day
as I'm watching life
just slipping away.
The hours tick by
as into the night
hurting and hopeless
devoid of my light
I'm seeking answers
to set my mind free
should I keep trying
or should I still be?
Where am I going
and what should I do
am I a failure
who's washed up and through?
The rest of the days
that I have left here
surely are numbered.
my heart sheds a tear.
So much time wasted
so many dreams killed
I feel my heart quake
another tear's spilled.
The morning draws near
no answers I find
searching these chambers
alone in my mind.
Do I have value
and what is my worth
am I just wasting
my time on this earth?
Answers evade me
as time ticks away
my heart is weeping
as I kneel to pray.
Dear God please tell me
please give me a sign
am I just crazy
by my own design?
Will I be able
to conquer my pain
or will I always
feel like I'm insane?
What is my meaning
where do I fit in
before my life's through
why did it begin?
Questiond unanswered
I notice the sun
another day's over
another's begun.
As I look outside I see it’s raining again
I remember the times when we were still friends
I start to feel lonely my heart grows sad
I try to remember the good times we had.
I try to remember how I lost all control
Emptiness grew deep inside of my soul
I hope the sun returns to bring a little light
I have problems seeing in the darkness of night.
I try to remember and then I slip and forget
I want to live my life without the regrets
I try to drop some cards from the hand I was dealt
I try to remember just what it was I felt.
I try to remember what I need to do
I drift aimlessly when I think of you
All of the laughter and happiness is gone
These become the things for which my heart longs.
I try to remember how I made it this far
I’ll just make a wish upon a shooting star
Over the rainbow will there be a pot of gold
As I look in the mirror another year old.
I try to remember my way back home
A place to feel comfort and not feel alone
I try to remember when the words were so kind
But it all seems to get lost inside of my mind.
Form:
you sped by and I glimpsed your face
your stuff all packed for your quick getaway
you've tried before but it didn't take
a fool never learns from the old mistakes
you left a treasure under a Palo Verde tree
down in the Valley where all was green
you're heading north with your heart mapped out
forgetting a tiny piece that lays due South
you hit the brakes as the interstate forks
your heart a little heavier than you had thought
the song that plays on your radio
says you stayed too long...it was time to go
without a thought or without any cares
you say again your silent little prayer
"don't let what I'm doing be a huge mistake
am I too early or just an hour too late"
you hit Phoenix and you're feeling fine
ready to try it all one more time
the dust won't settle on your yesterdays
the shadow on your soul you thought was filed away
like a 12-step program you try to justify
take all the wrongs and make them all right
but it all comes back when you try to go to sleep
the love that is new and the one you couldn't keep
Harsh cold wind blowing through the mind, the patron within is hard to find. Within that mind
there is something that shines hidden deep behind two eyes that are blind.
Looking within there is only one mind feeling; hearing what it finds is highly defined. Used as
a pawn through the mind of a king smiling; ever knowing never showing that was his thing.
Feeling strong and bold inside cuts the mold, to have and to hold for reasons forlorn but
never told. Out of body is this soul, always lonely, never cold bound forever to unfold.
Among the light that shines for the humble and the many, dark magic provides no promise if
any. Redemption follows the heart and soul not the body, pray it’s not too late to repent from
your folly.
When all alone feeling midnight and blue hands and heart frozen not knowing you were
chosen. To represent all who stand in the light bring all out of darkness no matter the plight.
James C Bryant Jr.
May 25, 2002
Reaching for more with every beat of the heart our final destination from the start, and
where we are now is far, far apart.
Mentally striding from the start we try to physically hide but can not.
New heights attained with every tick of the clock, looking for more there is no time to stop.
Attaining goals set on our wall, vision unbinding tensions ever winding.
Experience alone is not sufficient common instinctual knowledge will make one efficient.
Rising above all pilled on the heap intelligence irrelevant taking all in a sweep.
Standing tall on a new plateau obvious to all except the ones who know.
Maturity in knowing that the heart and mind is ever growing constant changes in life are ever
flowing.
Silent and poised totally oblivious to the noise accomplishing goals set in our stone rising up
to sit on our throne alone.
The plateau you create is home…
James C Bryant Jr.
February 22, 2002