The Madness In My Mind

Walking through the darkness
of the madness in my mind
I stumble on the pieces
of the twisted thoughts I find
I think about the way I am
and what I'll never be
as I sort through the wreckage
of what once was known as me
Searching for the sunshine
I am drowning in the rain
submerged in black emotion
I'm infused with all it's pain
There is no way I can escape
this hell inside my head
and though I am still breathing
I've become the living dead
In my heart I'm grieving
for a life I'll never know
I'm begging for my freedom
as I feel my madness grow
I am praying for redemption
as I choke on bitter tears
but I cannot find forgiveness
as I'm swallowed by my fears

I wonder if they see it
when they look into my eyes
I'm torn apart and weakened
as in silence my heart cries
and all the feelings that I hold
are suffocating me
as they cut and claw my mind
until they're all I see
Time is rushing by me
I am tired, growing old
the winds of change are blowing
and their bite is harsh and cold
I keep fighting for my freedom
but my freedom I won't find
as long as I am living
in the madness of my mind
Living with my madness
is the only life I know
and so much time is wasted
as my useless teardrops flow
I don't need to see tomorrow
should it be just like today
while I'm living in my madness
I'm not living anyway





Note: This was written after a bout with my depression and all is well!  To quote a dear, 
beloved friend, I am “Making lemonade”!  Love, Robin
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Kovrlija Avatar
May 17, 2013 at 10:06 AM
A beautiful poem!
 Avatar
September 16, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Great words so carefully put together bringing across the feelings for someone who does not understand what it feels like to truly be depressed. Reading your words, I feel your pain. It brought tears to my eyes. I am happy you got through this in one piece. God bless you and your greatly appreciated talent. Thank you for sharing! ~Susan
 Avatar
September 16, 2012 at 10:32 AM
OMG Robin!! I couldn't have ever found the right words to write with such perfection and express exactly how I feel sometimes when others just don't understand. I had goosebumps! AMAZING work!
Sweetheart Avatar
October 31, 2009 at 6:56 AM
Intense.. superb ... excellent ... it does all start in the mind... it controls everything... so to perfect it as much as possible... this write is going to my favorites... thankxxx for your compliments on my poetry... keep writing .. and sharing ... Linda-Marie
Joseph Avatar
October 16, 2009 at 10:03 AM
Outstanding - you've highlighted the madness of depression, which is hell whether its you or someone you love that is suffering - glad you are well.
Guzzi Avatar
October 14, 2009 at 10:27 AM
Phew..Thank the Lord Halleluyah! Pour me a glass of lemonade!! Very good verse..I'd want to divide it I think? into 2 verses. And I'll tell you what my boy told me...stop picking YOURSELF apart!!! You are a strong wonderful talents intellegent human being.."How about you focus on that Ma!" Light & Love
Strand Avatar
October 11, 2009 at 11:41 PM
'Searching for the sunshine I am drowning in the rain' Beautiful phrases in this inner poem Robin.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments today
George   Avatar
October 11, 2009 at 2:01 PM
Dear Robin. To me - depression - is HELL!. I have a dear friend who has just come out of a long bout. My prayers are answered. Glad to hear you are making lemondade. Much love and best wishes to you. Lainie PS: You have explained it in laymen's terms so well.
Culverhouse Avatar
October 10, 2009 at 6:47 PM
good for you, nicely penned, Bouts of depression usually make good poetry, thansk for your comments. good job here:)
Brown Avatar
October 10, 2009 at 5:41 PM
I enjoyed reading your awesome poetry today. Thank you Robin. I hope you have a wonderful fun filled weekend. Love, Carol
Devonshire Avatar
October 10, 2009 at 10:57 AM
How well you describe the despair associated with tragedy-induced depression. It can be maddening to live in such a state, Robin, but you can rejoice now for you have learned to make "lemonade." Your poem has a perfect flow with rhythm and rhyme, but it's the message that I'll remember most. Love and blessings, Carolyn
Fraser Avatar
October 10, 2009 at 10:35 AM
Its great to see you over coming your situation Robin, lovely piece >> James
Freeman Avatar
October 10, 2009 at 10:25 AM
Good deal Robin, when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Your verse is amazingly put together. Sincerly, Love, Moses
 Avatar
October 10, 2009 at 9:14 AM
The emotion comes through your words and paints a picture of depression in a vivid way. The struggle is heartfelt. Powerful poem. Well done! Glad to hear that all is well now. Keep the light shining! Thank you for your kind words on my poem. Have a good weekend. Karen
Rock Avatar
October 10, 2009 at 8:36 AM
I love this poem. Great choice of words, just freakin' awesome. :) I'm glad to hear all is well tho, depression can be a bitc*, but we gain so much experience from it. Thank you for posting.
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