Long Homophobic Poems
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She stands invisible to any fair go,
Mentally bashed to a paste,
In a world where she is not wanted,
Where she is simply erased,
Where none of her self is accepted by men,
Women distrust her as well,
Where she is politely told to vanish,
To crawl back into her shell,
She’s been beaten and bashed and raped by angry,
Pushed to the fork in the road,
This academically gifted heart beating girl,
Has been pushed right out to the cold,
She believes what folks whisper about her,
She believes the things that they say,
She believes she doesn’t fit into this world,
That she’s defective because she is gay.
We Can Be A Light
Sal was sixteen when he committed suicide.
A loving son and brother.
You could count on Sal when you needed to talk and know it was confidential.
Sal was always there with a smile and a vote of confidence in any endeavor you might pursue.
Sal's sense of humor and love for life was contagious and treasured by his family.
Then something happened...
He drowned wearing a cloak of self-loathing.
Sal's dignity and self-worth suffered the slurs of homophobic zealots.
"Guilty of sin. A sin against God and nature.”, they hollered.
Societal prejudice and loathing usurped the love of Sal's family.
Too many bodies are washed ashore from the violent seas of hate.
It doesn't have to be.
The enlightened hearts and minds of each generation must hold sacred the need to establish and maintain Lighthouses of Love and Respect.
So that...
When a lonely, frightened Child of God sees the beam of light he or she will know, that they are not alone and that Compassion and Empathy will be waiting for them on the shore.
*
When asked what skill sets
I hoped to bring
Her local ecology of justice
for nurturing,
I was not prepared.
But,
one of two internal wisdom projects,
still in process,
I'm ego-working on,
eco-role playing with,
is non-violent communication,
so I mentioned this
to the Trees and other WiseElder
youth nutritional developers
Young,
poised and elegant,
soft-spoken yet articulate
and straightforward
and with integrity of authentic curiosity,
She asked me
"What do you mean
by non-violent communication skills?
Does that mean you invite,
rather than demand, responses
by mentoring them
while listening for co-present hiding Wins
then Both/And speaking
then WinWin listening again?"
"Or are you still working
on healing OldSchool communication issues,
dominating patriarchal Left
by diminishing ElderMatriarchal Right?"
"Are you still working on non-violently violating people
with your body aggressive hands
and patriarchally mendacious voice
and homophobic and xenophobic
marching against green ecofeminist sacred feet
and blatantly exhibiting LeftBrain rabid totalitarian deductive-reductive dominance
and Trumpian: I'm just a bad bully boy
with a redblooded colonizing heart
testosterone twittering?"
I wasn't expecting that line of questioning.
But I found it really interesting
that a freckled nose
brown-skinned
young and beautiful,
inside and outside
ego and eco-core centered investigative interviewer
would need to ask that
of a white U.S. male
at this critical moment
of last non-violent hope
breathlessly waiting
for a WinWin communicated response
inviting cooperative ego/ecological polypathic climates
reversing pathological monoculturing decades
of business as competing WinLose usual
Now post-millennially reborn
green inviting integrity
of PositivEnergy Democracy
non-violently inciting
restorations of multicultural EarthJustice
SpaceTime co-arising
further EgoLeft-EcoSacredRight
ripe for ZeroZone theological healing.
But,
that's the other skill set
I'm sacred ecological
RightBrain STEAM green
writing with--
much too revolutionary
for any first time
PositivEnergy impression.
Maybe we could go there
next 2020 Revolutionary time.
Make hay while the sun shines.
I grew up as a closeted polypathic nature-mystic
on a marginal, at best, family farm
in Michigan.
This farm was my embryonic home,
an extension of my vastly loved and nurturing Mother,
more than my workaholic homophobic Father,
who most emphatically did create a patriarchal god in his own image.
His farm was for slave labor.
Her farm was a garden for growing healthy wealth.
I loved Mom's Multi-ReGenerational Family Farm
like an extension of my ego-mind and anthro-body.
And, like a turtle without a shell,
when I first headed off to Ann Arbor's University
I brought my happy and healthy ego with me,
eager to begin my new adventure story,
yet I emotionally stumbled,
felt naked and exposed and depressed,
for lack of my embryonic habitus,
my eco-center,
my home,
my interdependently embracing love of sacred spaces
and their seasons of regeneration and degeneration,
growing still and fading without ego me
conjoining.
I was homesick,
but not for Nurturing Nanny
and Fearsome Father
or even Perfect Princess Sister, whom I cherished,
whom I could talk and listen with as whim might invite,
and, although somewhat more of a sore detachment from our farmhouse interior spaces,
my disorienting alienation from Ann Arbor
was as a too-urban outside place
just as my recreating resident embrace
favored my dorm and classroom youth-learning multicultural race
against more oppressive monoculturing times.
To this day,
despite a six week backpacking hike
along California's Pacific Coast Trail,
plundered by surreal vistas and fragrance and light and unspeakable beauty,
when I imagine a meadow, a field, a woodland,
a pond,
a barn,
an unpaved road,
a gravel drive,
a herd of cattle,
a pen of pigs,
a coop of chickens,
a litter of kittens with eyes still sealed shut,
I recall iconic scenes from this sacred originating home,
my eco-memory
calling my doubly-bound ego-enculturing self
back home
to where we permaculturally began together,
making hay while the sun did shine.
Buying corporate profit tickets
to this June's PRIDE event
does not feel therapeutic,
where once lived public trauma.
Another annual rite
of well-bred socialization
political masturbation
with no flavor of resistance
to white-washed Capitalism's greed,
to straight Patriarchalism's need
to rapaciously breed
to gluttonously feed
on humble margins
of truly empowered
LeftBrain dominant humanity
not RightBrain depressed
demonically repressed
satanically oppressed
devilishly suppressed
Right supremely unimpressed
by deeply felt insanity
born a profanity
against Earth's Straight
White
MonoTheistic God
False idol
of patriotic
nationalistic pride
parades before
and lingers after
sins against EarthMother's uncapitalized
poor in spirited nature
Our planet's
traumatically wounded child,
x-rated
x-rayed
x-cised
by homophobic
feministphobic
Afrophobic toxins,
divinely inspired hate,
monotheistic vengeance-is-mine
militaristic fate.
This, and future, summers of inclusive love,
I would give away invitations to proud PASSION,
co-passion
compassion
compassionate integrity
passionate enquiry
of Left erect
correct cognition
greets Right flowing
enlightened growing
synergy glowing
sacred felt reconnecting
concelebrations
Of timeless
dipolar co-arising parades,
out-rageous raving displays
of globally spectral
spectacular
spiraling circular rainbows
of regenerating strings
and co-passionate things
Sacred hope promises
form ribboned resonant faith
for love
of EarthTribe's holy
co-emergent DNA diversity
deeply held
in silent summer whispers
Inviting year-round
and full
and sweaty wet PASSION plays
stories
narratives
epic songs,
starred night light
and lunar displays
Flowing Right
Left strength
universally full
uniting Color
Healthy polycultures
wealthy multicultures evoking
not revoking
compassionating
never mindlessly sedating
fully woke
out celebrating
Earth's PASSIONTribe.
I have nothing against the Cinderellas
of successful society.
Cinderella finds her opportunity for freedom
for love, hopefully,
goes for it,
and it works out for her
and all the Prince Charmings,
wherever they are hiding from my life.
Anyway, all good news
as far as this story goes.
But,
the plight of Ugly StepSisters and Brothers
deserves more compassionate empathy.
True,
they borrow too heavily from Evil StepMother's playbook,
her monocultural empty-empire building manual
"How to compete for passion and pleasure
natural wealth
without sufficient impassioned
spiritual health"
Still,
StepMom didn't write this manual alone.
This scripture is as old as lack of requited love
our severed selves.
And,
what are the karmic outcomes for these Sisters,
lacking grace
to invite Cinderellas to share their space?
A decade
a year
a month
a day,
an hour,
a minute,
a moment devoid of choosing integrity's warm possibility,
humor facing absurd lust for monolithic power,
blind hope to control healthy life
at least spirited enough to dull awareness
of inevitable natural dying alone,
results in living too much lonely
consuming absence of full loving life,
producing integrity of compassioned pleasure
Disassociated disrepair
eats and addicts acids of empire-defensive despair
until nutrients of isolation mature
into toxic self-disserving Evil StepSpinsters
and bully UnBrothers
Monsters spinning tragic runaway addictions
breeding chaotic anger,
fear of our darkness, our mortal trauma terror,
our lack and misery and loss,
hating our own unredemptive suffering.
Ugly StepSisters are stuck
in silos of their own discontent
echoing Evil StepMother's voice
foolishly demanding patriarchal satisfaction
with a closed RightHand dominant fist
when grace is hers and his to choose
by merely opening Her heart
to radically compassionate
co-empathic curiosity
and win/win pleasures
of unconditional warm hospitality
for all our Cinderellas,
Prince Charmings,
more oppositionally defiant StepSisters
and homophobic UnBrothers.
Although I am a ***** white Queen
let me reassure you
I can be just as mean
or as green,
Mr. Clean,
as any fascist
conjured in your wildest
wettest dream.
I can kick my ruby RightWing heels
and hold my greenly skanky breath
as long as it takes, tis true,
until you eventually agree
to turn less boring white
and unenlightened blue
It's true,
I can spread my fascist net,
get in line with Straight White Men
with penile envy
of dark-skinned vets
you never could acknowledge seeing
in the singing shower
much less slurping
in your homophobic panic
nastiest place to hide
just yet.
Although a ***** male Queen
married to the blackest man
you've ever seen,
You may rest re-assured
I've clearly found it true
as red
white
and blushing blue:
Once a person
and a nation
has tried black,
There's a whole lotta happy folk
don't care to go back
to refight a civil war
against a white flight bully bore
Supremely self-chosen evangelists,
y'all just help me
deeply snore.
You think
and feel,
know
and spiel,
I'm rotten to my core
because, like your sissy sister
it's men this male adores
But, if men were good enough
for your sainted mother,
and hers too,
and my two,
let me introduce this thought
to you
It wouldn't really make you
all that blue
to admit just maybe
all that pleasure
could suit a special man just fine
too,
But, don't worry,
be happy,
I'm not the least bit hot
for white bread
RightWing you.
Could chronic stress,
like sleep deprivation,
noise and light and air pollution
also derive
by avoiding barely still alive
high-risk trauma messes?
Sometimes sadly beginning
prior to economic and political puberty
Including multi-generational suppression
misogynistic sex tensions
and monotheistic depression
and homophobic repression,
hateful Othering paranoid impressions,
chronic monocultural climate despair,
uncivil disinvested oppressions
Endarkened
by a popular FirstWorld
anthro-privileged
secularizing, dividing, dissociating
evolutionary theory
of mutual assured predation
damnation
degenerating ecosystemic deflation,
ecocidal extinction
of once sacred synergetic EarthLove
elation
Or at least
co-empowering messianic missions
for restoring EarthJustice
mental ego-health is physical eco-wealth
co-relations.
So, go on
all RightWing
WrongHeaded;
service yourself!
But
I doubt you will find
your God's RightHand solipsism
resiliently satisfying
much less sacredly edifying.
Uncovering ecofeminists
and recovering peace mediators
are done being your ***** punishing bag!
Your indigenous justice
community resonance hag!
Did I hear that out loud?
Oh, any polypathic way,
Does chronic lifetime-anxiety disorder,
win/lose competitive stress,
contribute to multi-generational high-risk trauma histories?
Sometimes beginning long before adult maturing transition
from Either/Or fundamentalist childlike conditions
not Both/And exploring inside/outside
neuro-sensory double-boundaries
in-between healthy, mature win/win resonance
and lose/lose despairing dissonance,
positively and negatively
therapeutically and traumatically
correlated
In older adults
sometimes producing increased market risks
and opportunities of dementia,
with unfortunate paranoid demise
Rather than fortunate co-invested
peaceful
pleasured
mindbody post-traumatic surprise
of warm unconditional outcomes
in win/win Paradise.
Once upon eternal time,
all philosophers
and theologians
and ecologists,
published and unpublished,
credentialed and indigenous,
elders and children
and all ages in-between,
alive and dead
and all health indicators in-between,
got together
to sort out our competitive win/lose mess
of competing theories
about just what is this elephant
star of our BigTent historic stage.
Some,
especially straight men of color,
but many others as well,
argued the head of this fascist elephant
is racism.
Others,
especially straight white women,
and their feminist allies,
argued the head of this pathological creature
is patriarchalism.
Others,
especially LGBTQ wo/men,
and their straight allies,
were sure this fascist elephant head
is homophobic sexism.
Others,
especially positive psychologists
and communication system theorists,
encouraged more resonant dialogue
about how this fascist elephant
is led by either/or deductive
reductive left-brain cultural dominance.
Others,
especially social psychologists,
whole system thinkers,
eco-political pathologists,
permaculture ZeroZone restorative healers,
advocates for restorative justice for global peace,
cooperative economic ecologists,
WholeEarth systemic theologians
advocated multicultural co-mentoring
non-violent communication
to better see and hear
heal and not punish,
feel and think
with full mindbody intelligence
about how this fascist elephant
of Western hemisphere dominant capitalism
win/lose favors egocentric monoculturalism
elitism
narcissism
ethnocentrism
anthropocentrism
through metaphoric polypaths
dreaming
streaming
scheming all of the above.
If you were taught that something was bad,
Sinful and evil and terribly mad;
And then found out that that’s what you were -
How would you feel, if that did occur?
If you were taught that a lifestyle was wrong,
And people who lived it weren’t morally strong;
And then realized it was what you preferred -
How would you cope, if that did occur?
Sexual preferences are programmed inside;
It is nature, not nurture - and nothing to hide.
It’s been that way for millions of years,
Though repressed by many through intimidation and fear.
If you are homophobic, I just wish to say
There are some in your circles who are unknowingly gay
They just won’t admit it, because of the way you’ll react
But they are who they are – and you won’t change that fact
It could be your son or your brother; a friend or a boss
But they know if you knew, your respect would be lost
They don’t fit your stereotype so you never will know
And due to your ignorance and hatred they’ll never tell you so
Wouldn’t it be great if each of us could set an example
And this fear of homosexuality we could stomp on and trample
I, myself, am not a homosexual man
But for my brethren who are – I will take a stand