Long Gomer Poems
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My identical twin and I grew up in two different houses.
Sure, we shared a room, but our experiences were almost opposite.
Things she remembers I doubt happened.
My memories are completely foreign to her.
We both remember Gomer Pyle, Singing along with Mitch,
But I remember the homemade donuts we had for supper on Sundays.
She has no recollection of it.
She remembers Clark Johnson hitting her in the stomach.
I do not think it happened.
When I try to place myself into another person’s shoes
I remind myself that even my twin and I do not share the
same childhood. We were in the same room developing
diverse ideas, memories, attitudes, and believe it or not, religions.
We have the same mannerisms, walk, and voice.
But to say “I know how you feel” would be ridiculous,
so I never do it. Because if there is one thing I know,
it is that I do not know.
Got yourself some new wheels, huh?
I can hear the squeals of rubber burning
I cough exhaust…left behind, oh gosh! I’m holding just a pile of dented fenders…
suspended… Your bucks spent. Engine Red..that foreign bred truck!
Snap, crackle and Popular Mechanic…Look at the maniac go….!
Holy, Moly….must be rolling in dough!
Woe is me, a junk yard dog, pile of junk, smelly sneakers left in my trunk
There he goes….who knows where….how many horses…under that hood...?
Should I know? I’d fly too, if I could. Just scrap metal in my bellow.
Heavy pedal, limp and wasted..used to be his favorite girl…kept me polished, waxed
and oiled…now I’m soiled. No garage..no umbrella, who gives a rip? Worn out
engine, give up the ship! Cast away…..not in style…gave a ride to Gomer Pyle
“See the USA in your Chevrolet"…, ‘cept that I ain’t got no carburetor
See ya later gator…what’s the hurry fella? Did ya see the light was yellow?
Red light, yellow light…. see if we can make the green
Going green….going green,….does that mean his hybrid’s clean?
Anti-freeze, it makes me sneeze….can’t I have some oil please?
Give ‘er the gas, let’s see what she’s got!
OH.. forgot!…ain’t got my tires..I’m retired
Pubescent male migration, arcing over sunless streets
Hear that squeak……doctor told me oil leak
Honest Engine, joined the pack, no Pontiac to take that ride
Is there heaven for old cars? Car 54 where are you??
I got my kicks on Route 66, running relays, no baton, just open freeways
Son of a gun…give it the gun……vroom.. vroom… run… run!
One door closes, need new hoses, or I don’t go nowhere… no how
Pile of rust, I’ve been busted, up on blocks…what a crock!
My teeth and pride are all knocked in…windshield wipers brush a tear
Windshield wipers swipe the years…skid marks show behind my eyes
Teeth and pride are all knocked in, guess I’m just an old has been!
______________________________________
a stream of consciousness
Noah survived the flood with sons Japheth, Ham, and Shem.
Along with the animals of the earth, God spared them.
With floods, He vowed never again to do such a thing.
God made a covenant with Noah and his offspring:
“You and your sons shall populate the world as you go.
Look up into the clouds and you shall see My rainbow.
This is a sign the covenant is everlasting.
All creatures shall thrive, along with each human being.”
Noah’s grandson, firstborn of Ham, Canaan was his name.
He had to serve Shem and Japheth because he brought shame.
Ham also gave birth to Cush; who in turn brought Raamah.
Raamah extended the line with Dedan and Sheba.
Shem was fruitful producing many generations.
Arphaxad and Aram’s progeny would lead nations.
Among Japheth’s seven sons were Gomer and Javan
Their descendents also had produced many children.
Among Ham’s descendents was a king who defied God.
A mighty hunter and warrior, he was Nimrod.
His kingdom had contained land from Babylonia.
Moreover, it stretched as far south as Assyria.
His great cities included Calah and Nineveh.
They lived on land between the Euphrates and Tigris.
His people united and strong were making progress.
Nimrod proclaimed, “We have one language and great power.
Let us assemble and raise a very tall tower.
This ziggurat will provide a stairway to a star.
We are an ambitious people, and we can go far!”
A new great city appeared on the plain of Shinar.
With formidable walls constructed with bricks and tar.
God realized these persons were filling with contempt,
He wished to halt their foolhardy fallacious attempt.
Perplexing their language among them caused confusion.
They stopped construction and divided with diffusion.
God’s almighty power can never be defeated.
Therefore, the Tower Of Babel was not completed.
A ziggurat is a temple of Babylonian architecture resembling a pyramid. It begins
with either a square or a rectangular base. Additional stories with smaller floor
space create a terrace effect on each level.
Genesis Chapters 8-11
.
Jim Nabors always said "Shazam", that was his catchphrase.
Because of his contributions to television, he deserves praise.
It was hard for him to watch the opening credits of Gomer Pyle because many of those Marines died in Vietnam.
We always know that he's on Gomer Pyle or the Andy Griffith Show when we hear him say "Shazam".
We also remember him yelling "Citizen's Arrest".
All of his fans are sad and they're also depressed.
He also starred in some movies, two of which were Cannonball Run 2 and Stroker Ace.
His friends, fans and family have to say goodbye, his death is hard for them to face.
(Dedicated to Jim Nabors who died at the of 87 on November 30, 2017.)
Two Words – Redux Three
Wax
Wane
Big
Train
Hood
Wood
Tooth
Booth
Gosh
Posh
Purple
Pink
Kitchen
Sink
Ice
Rink
Nays
Ways
Moon
Shine
Vinegar
Brine
Wild
One
Hun
Pun
Smart
Enough
Not
Tough
Prince
Wince
Ping
Pong
Bong
Dong
Real
Thing
Voice
Hoarse
Winning
Horse
Grasshopper
Stridulate
Cosmic
Force
Too
Much
Not
Enough
Poll
Toll
Pool
Tool
Duel
Fool
Bread
Roll
Place
Race
Brawl
Tall
Ace
Chase
Bath
Wrath
Back
Rub
Bone
Daddy
Phone
Mommy
Bingo
Bango
Exciting
Tango
Fango
Jango
Play
Piano
Porky
Pig
Dance
Jig
Hour
Tower
Flower
Power
Witch
Hazel
Nose
Nasal
Eye
Brow
Black
Cow
Bow
Wow
Fat
Man
Diet
Plan
Circus
Politics
Dirty
Sure
Facts
Blur
Sham
Shame
Many
Blame
Propel
Excel
Pain
Contain
All
Same
Total
Insane
Pica
Print
Time
Went
Odor
Vent
Pint
Tint
Rile
Pile
Gomer
Pyle
Vex
Hex
Hey
Tex
Tyrannosaurus
Rex
Flex
Perplex
Flick
Fleck
Bird
Peck
Oh
Heck
Card
Deck
Slick
Wick
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved
November 2, 2018 (Short-Form Free Verse)
The sprout of momentary illusion,
the voyage of a derelict dream in place of a lie,
the lure of April, the deceit of May concertized in December,
in wintry snow, mocked,
miscarriages of a well worn organ,
the grin of February,
suspended in September,
the burden of unconquered Lust,
the armies of censorial secret "bedders",
begging for the abandoned rottenness on my path,
obsequious frenzy of the hasty oath at Ikoyi,
the stealthily lure of a defiled bed before the oath,
the desperation of "a wanna be" by crook,
hurried by the mascara coated looks of a postponed "dowried hariotery,"
A bedfellow from the red zone,
an unrepentant Gomer,
The armies of bias exes overwhelmed the gaze with suspicions,
compelling through diurnal and surreptitious escapades in dark corners,
allured by unfinished lust,
to the city centre for a quickie,
And myriads of men hides in ambuscade save one,
with threats of kill for suspending their “off home” secret lush
The public mistress unfit for their homes, Yet suited for their Lust by turns
she warmed our beds they say'
purloined for your Fall of a few days,
The bawd roamed unrestrained,
'Don't talk to me' she says.
Unbridled concupiscence her forte,
forty plus years in the trade,
well versed in the art
The sneaky nights,
the secret calls,
the Stygian services,
and countless gift of libidinous frivolities.
Yet their victim must remain mute,
as truly the drama unfolded ,
all appeal rebuffed by arrogance,
as they taunt with permissive perverse Laws
convinced on the first day.
Converse for four weeks,
conscripted in one week
“conbedded” on arrival in same day,
Correction of a fool,
concluded at the Court.
Then in retrospect, Delilah revived.
The ugly American likes waving the flag.
And dissing what he doesn’t understand.
He’s scared of change and threatened by intelligence,
But says he’s only honoring his clan.
The ugly American can’t think for himself.
He follows the herd spreading rumors and fear.
He’s a self-taught gomer, and a sucker for conmen
Who always tell him what he's eager to hear.
The ugly American is an immature child.
He wants to live in the past as though those days were gold.
He’d have worshiped Father Coughlin, and Kingfish Huey Long.
Now he champions a modern demagogue.
The ugly American doesn’t need to rob banks,
Molest little children or murder his wife.
All he needs to do is keep his head in the sand
To see the consequences of an unenlightened life.
The ugly American never looks in the mirror.
He prides himself on honoring his roots.
If he saw his reflection, he’d be faced with the fact
That he's as useful now as worn-out cowboy boots.
The ugly American likes waving the flag,
And dissing what he doesn't understand.
Frank Sutton was an actor who died half a century ago.
He starred in one episode of "The Andy Griffith Show".
He starred in every episode of "Gomer Pyle: USMC".
Sutton died fifty years ago today at the age of fifty.
People were sad because he wouldn't be coming back.
Sutton's life came to an end when he had a heart attack.
He starred in "The Twilight Zone" and "Town Without Pity".
He starred in Armstrong Circle Theater" and "Naked City".
He starred in "Love, American Style" and "Valentine's Day".
Sutton would be 100 years old if he hadn't passed away.
[Dedicated to Frank Sutton (1923-1974) who died half a century ago today on June 28, 1974]
Remember Petticoat Junction?
Perhaps Green Acres too?
I Love Lucy and Carol Burnett,
Just for a laugh or two?
Dick Van Dyke and The Munsters,
Back when the "tube" was fun;
Doris Day and Love That Bob,
Don't forget The Flying Nun
Maxwell Smart was an agent,
We all knew Uncle Jed;
Hazel was that clever maid,
It's sad how comedy's fled
The Honeymooner's over,
F Troop's down to zero;
The Beaver's long forgotten,
While Hogan's lost his heroes
Gilligan's left the island,
A Jeannie no longer dreams;
Car 54, where are you?
At times, I wanna scream!
Andy was a country boy,
Gomer, a seargent's pest;
Who made room for daddy?
Don't fathers know what's best?!
Maynard shaved the goatee,
Mister Ed's lost his voice;
My Three Sons are missing,
Ozzie and Harriet had no choice
McHale can't find his navy,
The Addams flown away;
A Martian ain't so favorite,
Our Laugh In's gone astray
Primetime's lost its essence,
Laughter is a con man's game;
A Family Affair's in mourning,
Is the "new age" ours to blame?
Gomer
Pretty fool, beautiful
you laid down
you got down
with your lover what you do now no ones pitying you now
you now unfaithfulness to the Lord
You though he loved you now
you walked away from your first love
You thought he loved you child
Gomer
Unfaithful to the Lord just a whore
What if you prayed
Why? Didn't you stay
Yet you strayed no longer a virgin
Now your a burden
Gomer
It is more than his manhood
He's a man-child
Gomer
unfaithful to the Lord just a whore
Why did she pray
Why didn't you stay?
Yet she strayed
No longer a virgin now
You unfaithful to the Lord
Just a whore where are you now
How can the government and the village must now help you child
You should have kept your dress down
You should have kept your pants on
Modern Gomer
unfaithful to the Lord
just a whore
He done got what he wanted
You thought he loves you but he doesn't
He just came alone came alone to hit
6 minutes of pleasure now quit it
Now going to give you nine months of misery,
just a whore- unfaithful to the Lord just like Israel
6/3/22
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.2022©