Long Funnyday Poems
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TEEN AGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!
One day I came home with the flu.
My mother gave me a bowl of stew
All I can say is that the stew was thick like goo.
I still ate it thinking it was chicken stew.
Saturday morning I woke up watching Winnie The Pooh.
Mother made me a sandwich that was hard to chew
In the kitchen I saw 2 strange looking shells
Once I saw them I started getting dizzy spells
Eating turtle soup with out having a clue.
Made my face turn green and blue.
Walked into the living room.
My stomach still felt kind of doom.
My mother was watching the tube and singing along
Singing along to the,"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" song!
NOW THAT WAS WRONG!!!!!!
____________________________________________
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TWO TURTLE DOVES
During Christmas, I always go hunting in the woods
I set out traps to catch me some goods
I caught two turtle in my first trap
Poor little things where full of crap.
I was singing "On the first day of Christmas" on my way back.
All I could think of was my Two Turtle (Doves), snack!
I took them inside and dipped them in water
They had no idea they where soon to be slaughter
My dad told me that turtle soup hits the right spot.
Silly turtles where already in the boiling pot
Looking at the pot one turtles was swimming around
I can't believe in the hot water he didn't even drown
I had to pull him out, and set him on the rebound.
I'll just cook him on my second round.
I am ready to eat my turtle stew.
Praising this soup with an mm mm thank you!
DARN!! Salt and Pepper was the main thing I forgot
Realizing napkins was the only thing I bought
I put the napkins on my lap.
I was about to have me some turtle snap.
I started singing my favorite Christmas song.
Suddenly the "Two Turtle Dove" part did not belong.
Singing softly to my favorite line
Eating the stew didn't feel fine.
""On The Second day of Christmas
CCCCCCCCCCCCCChrrriiissstamms
MMMMMMMMMMMy TRUE LOVVVVEE
Gave to me TWO TURTLE DOVVVVEE
With out having the jolly to sing along.
I had to put the stew to a side and be strong.
(now) THAT WAS WRONG!!!!!
((( HAVING FUN WITH MY OWN TURTLE CONTEST )))
boxing day would be a good day to relax
and put your feet up on a chair
but the children come running in
all upset that
the bits to their game are no longer there
the batteries to their new toys have all gone flat
and ask can you remember where they put their new hat
for all the joys of christmas things end up back in the box
so then they decide to build with lego blocks.
I always wondered why boxing day was called boxing day, I have joked since my kids were
very young that it was because all the batteries go flat, the bits go mising from games they
forget where they put theire new stuff and most things end up back in the box, well untill you
can go and get new batteries when the shops re open, Oh what such fun, I love christmas
and I made sure I went and got more batteries before they ran out this time LOL, have a
happy new year every one love from diane
Izzy you're dizzy you'll need to explain
Exactly HOW many players are in your brain.
~But I can't they won't understand.
~I've tried this before and I lost my clan.
~They know you're here on the land.Anyway.
Explain a day that you can see when Many are the
here and the hear are She. Writing for A WE.
It can be This Way and it is.
News came and spun the biz...
NessV. It'll be May.be Tomorrow.
Five days in the narrows.
row row To be. a Way
Then on the arrows we'll see.
~with respect I ask... are you testing me?
A day in May is only part Way. To a day.
I know my name. \@@/ and YOU're the ham.
A birth defined on an August I AM!g0
And my vision is funny not fuzzy,
Souper sunny in the morning not dizzy...
My name is Susan and my pen's named Izzy.
A system drawn in a perfect way.see
A Wake.yes. A Long ago yes. I Be.
8>
Loving to write poETry
And how many poems can that really be?
In my brain I asked, Again.
Form:
One day after returning from the moon,
Jerry found a Raccoon in his drawing room.
He was surprised to see it watching TV,
enjoying'Tom and Jerry' show with much glee.
An idea crept into Jerry's mind soon
why not teach Tom a lesson by the Raccoon!
So Jerry told him about all his plights,
how Tom was harassing him day and night.
'OK,I'll teach him a lesson',was Raccoon's vow,
'but see that I act with you in cartoon show'.
Hearing this Jerry smiled,'sure,it will be soon
changed to a show of Jerry and Raccoon'.
Then he guided him to nearby Tom's house
stealthily big Raccoon followed little mouse.
At that time Tom was having a sound nap,
the big Raccoon easily took him in his lap.
'I will throw him over there to the moon',
smilingly murmured the big Raccoon.
What happened after this I don't know, sorry
can't tell you the end of this little story.
There may be a change in the cartoon show soon,
Tom may be missing,Jerry will act with that Raccoon!
© kashinath karmakar
=====================================
By:kashinath karmakar (30th March 2011,photo based)
What? One day to live what shall I do?
Should I bungee jump or play the didgeridoo?
Go to the pub and run up a tab?
Maybe see every street from the back of a cab?
I know I will jump on a flight heading to Spain,
From the back of the plane, shout “Revenge for killing my brother Saddam Hussein”
Or, go into a shop and take a bite out of every chocolate bar,
Yes and take a baseball bat and bash my neighbour’s car
Or set my dog on my boss and tell him he has rabies
Chat up as many women and make lots of babies (worth a try in one day)
And when time is about to run out I’ll bend over
And kiss goodbye my grass and favourite clover
But the only thing that I can think at this moment that is not mine
That is, all this thinking what to do, I’ve run out of time
So with my last breath all I can say
I think I’ll leave you and go to pray.
**If I only had 1 day to live Poetry Contest **
How I cherish idle days unfettered by a strict routine.
(Tho' I'm findin' such days fewer and farther in between!)
A day in which my spouse ain't delegatin' onerous chores,
Nor wants to chase after bargain sales at the local stores!
Pester me not 'til I've read the paper and worked the puzzle,
And have had a steamin' mug o'joe to savor and to guzzle.
I'll have some oatmeal to keep my cholesterol under control,
And later amble to the park for my daily stroll.
I won't even answer the phone when it persistently rings,
Or watch the news on the television and the doom and gloom it brings.
If Girl Scouts appear on my stoop sellin' cookies at my door,
I'll make like I ain't home and the little dears ignore!
I'm content to read a book with the cat a-snoozin' on my lap,
And later on, put the book aside to join him in a nap.
Perhaps I'll enjoy a rousin' rondo by Mozart on the radio.
Anon, I'll relish the grandeur of Pikes Peak from my patio!
I strive to live each day uncluttered with insalubrious despair,
Dreamin' inane dreams and buildin' useless castles in the air.
I'll end the day musin' on the porch, ponderin' the settin' sun.
Maybe tomorrow I'll do those things that today I've left undone!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
3d Place in "Tell Me About You" Contest - June 2010
My office
Yo I went into my office, lookin’ for a bone,
I’m in the zone,
Cause I found the chicken that I left next to the phone,
Yo the other day I found a roach that got high off fumes,
The straight perfumes of fruit of the looms,
That I forgot to put in the laundry,
The other day, a bill collector called he,
Needed to collect on the gas that be passin,
From the mold that be lastin’
On my desk from starbuck’s latte’s that never made it to rest,
Yo I must confess,
My wife almost divorced me,
When she saw the fungus on my socks I use to hold my mornin’ coffee,
The other day I broke my chair but yo the stacks of papers caught me,
Sometimes the sisters judge me,
Cause I be funky,
But they be chunky,
Like in the country,
Where when they hug me,
I gasp for breath and stagger round like someone mugged me,
Or straight up drugged me,
Yo my boys be tryin’ to punk me,
When they say my rug be dusty,
But that don’t phase a brotha, cause them brotha’s knees be ashy,
Like a car that’s gotten rusty.
But yo, I got to end this,
So peace out and don’t dismiss this,
Or try and say my crib’s a health risk,
Cause yo there are lists, of brothas who have smelled the breath behind those luscious lips,
So mind yo business and let me be,
And stay off my office too,
We look both the same how could this be
Two peas in a pod that's you and me
When we were babies we both dressed the same
The only thing different I suppose was our name.
I was called Pete and you was called Paul
Time went so fast we grew very tall
We're much older now but still look the same
Two peas in a pod with a different name.
I remember one day when Paul was at school
He did something wrong he broke the school rule
The next day came but Pete got the blame
Two peas in a pod they both look the same.
Paul had a girlfriend she was so very nice
But when she saw Pete she had to look twice
She said Pete are you Paul, he thought and said yes
She gave him a kiss so he had to confess.
I'm sorry Pete said I think your confused
I'm not really Paul, she wasn't amused
You're like two peas in a pod you both look the same
Who am I dating I'm going insane.
Written for Nathan's contest