Long Funnydad Poems
Long Funnydad Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnydad by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnydad poems by poem length and keyword.
Thick as a brick.
Misunderstood.
Alas a teenage daughter
Got in the family way,
Such they are the times
What more can you say.
It was getting near her time
But still she wanted out,
To the pub or just the pictures
She didn"t mind being stout.
Then one night it happened
While she was all alone,
Nature took Her course
She fumbled for the phone.
The time was nearly midnight
It was dad who was awoken
'Can you come and get me,
I think my waters broken.'
'Okay' shouts her dad
'tell me where you are,
You just say the place
I"ll go get the car."
He jumped up out of bed
Put slippers on his feet
'Where are you ringing from?'
'From my knickers to my feet.'
Grade one, oh, how I had so much fun!
Grade two; I painted pictures with colours red white and blue
Grade three, the year I fixed a rope swing to a great oak tree
Grade four, 6 stitches for banging my head of that bloody door!
Grade five, touching the electrics! I’m lucky to be alive.
Grade six, lots of mischief and all sorts of naughty tricks
Grade seven; I was a darling boy that was on track to go to heaven!
Grade eight, please Dad I will be good, I hope it’s not too late?
Grade nine, the summer my dad gave me my 1st glass of wine!
Grade ten, the year I washed my shirts to find a leaking black pen
How I remember my life in a stage or grade,
Not a year passes by where these memories fade.
Listen to everything I tell you son
You will see that you will have fun
Go to the house of Lady Loo
Knock on the door and do what I tell you to do
So with dad’s advice at hand I knock
The most beautiful woman from Bangkok
She gave me a welcoming embrace
And looked at my pimply braced face
Then she led me through a door
Into a room full of joys and more
“Lay her on the bed”
“And handcuff her hands to it behind her head”
So I did exactly what dad had said
With my face a bright pimply red
She said “who’s son are you boy?”
With my clothes off, she screamed “Mr. Smith’s” in joy
As her eyes googled my toy
Now me knees were knocking a tune
So I dressed and was out there with a zoom
Met my dad out side
He took me home in his ride
As my braces glisten by the light of the moon
He said “ That’s an experience, wasn’t it fun”
“Now I have a man for a son”
Three months later in the papers I read
Lady Loo found dead
Her hands handcuffed behind her head
As dry as a prune on her bed