Long Follicle Poems

Wergle Flomp Good Humor 2023

The following constitutes a rather 
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling boobs in an attempt to escape... 
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy...

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Sneezing fit – tests nasal septum

The word Gesundheit was first used in English in 1914. It became popular in the United States due to the many German immigrants who moved there. Many Americans may not be...

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Recurrent sneezing fit courtesy freshly mowed grass

circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter 
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty...

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A (growing) menagerie of stuffed animals And Beanie Babies

The following doth constitute
combination of fact and fiction
unfortunately not sentences
referencing overactive spousal glute
though sphincter roaring
could muscle us into ample loot
(after wife explodes open bank vault)
versus ass spire...

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Sebaceous glands connected to follicles secrete an oily substance called sebum

With a title deeply rooted
in subject matter iterated above
invariably makes for hair raising poem,
though I immediately attest said material
constitutes atypical topic
the writing process (with intent
to...

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He was born with a bushy round follicle-free head
and walks with two legs, because 
he is a Neanderthal(1) mutant,

for he is a mutational product, 
he is an android(2) not found in the evolutionary tree, 
and...

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Trigger warning ??????????

This was a pretty hard piece to compile, and definitely a personal piece to post but my hope is it may reach someone who needs it. 

Withdrawals 

The pain is indescribable, but with...

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The implosion of a thought is neither a shred or a shard. In fact it is surely a pulsation of a wisdom whirlpool? Really? How rather radical. And amusing to the laughs of the rhombuses...

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Growing my hair down below my knees...

stimulated courtesy follicles,
where Coconut, Olive, Grapeseed,
Jojoba, Amla and Vitamin E oils
allowed, enabled,
and provided head start
germinating peach fuzz into brown strands
after Flaxseeds, Pumpkin seeds and Fenugreek
being sprinkled on my scalp
yielded...

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An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty 
bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger 
than a mole luck yule set in motion a 
chain reaction, whence mine sensitive 
proboscis honker...

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The air is open-ended,
The wind sends a whisper through my spinal cord at lightning speed 
Acres upon acres of oceanic scenery plunging itself into my irises 
The horizon is as wide as the Milky Way...

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You win ever so calmly never to know 
what may be hanging straight above your head.
Under complications we break and bestow – 
Habitual ponders and worriment are gifts to our dreads.

Always constant surveillance of our...

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Bubbling babbling burbling banter from the bar..

Sup hush….memory lane trip...Proustian rush..pleasingly tickled. 

Plushly ebbed…spidery beer swirls webbed…lace whirls..grace dimpled dappled jar..

Perch...parched pagans besmirch..sip...druid fluid drip..Iris’s secular church..

Venerate yesteryear dips…commemorate Faustian fillips....teasingly pickled..

Smug treacle toned thatch...

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"Got your fluff again"
(for purpose of this poem
pronounce last word uh gain).

The missus uttered
aforementioned phrase
as she pulled a clump of my hair
from out the clogged shower drain
for no rhyme nor reason lemme explain
how so many...

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Rat a tat tat..from the off…doff my hat to that.. rare..great hair and flair pair…the cool cat and crazy cat..

Teasing twang…of the Pant and anti Pant thang..the genesis of a genius nemesis it brang..tomfoolery along...

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twas the bright idea of zee missus aye air
and dedicate this poem
(yes tis correct, if you bare
lee remember this mister

did formerly she push duck clear
addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster" en dear
ment - for obvious...

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- and GOD Said: -

Live Each Day With Joy Even Thru Tests
Live Each Day Having Mercy & Tenderness
Live Each Day As Tho' Opening A Treasure Chest
Yes, Live On This Earth, Like An Honored Guest

- yes...

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just moments ago, i went online and tapped Google 
   if some miraculous spell 
   could be drawn out of thin air
cause (this house husband 

   feels a bit...

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That day she decided to speak
For too long they had called her meek
She woke up early 
Decided she'd wear something that would compliment her curvy 
Spent hours on her hair making sure each and every...

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“Shiny Crown”

(Verse 1)
He wakes up every morning, sharp as can be,
Shaving that dome, twice a day you see.
No single hair dares to make a stay,
That polished bowling ball’s ready to play.

(Pre-Chorus)
Olive oil’s his secret glow,
Axe...

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Perhaps I’m facing pogonophobes? 
Apparently wore the wrong face.
Age-hardened wiry wisps forge 
post-pubescent platemail -
protect strangers
from my truest fleshy pores, protect me 
from the xenophobes of the Winter Conference. 

It’s all pitching and coffee breaks...

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CHICKENPOX HIGH

I caught chicken pox from
My son,
Oh what fun!
I was thirty five and spots,
Enveloped me from each hair follicle
On my head,
Right down to in between every toe, 
I had to stay in bed!
My thesis for...

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A Letter to Myself



Should I give up writing
Seems all this bleating and wailing
Bemoaning this lot of love
I am allocated to feel
But never touch

Should I stop showing the world
Such a pitiful and pathetic face
As it twists...

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Oh wondrous one
What have they done
We're stuck here in a rut
No Paddy's Day, to my great dismay
I'm treated like your mutt

Oh little boy
Fill your heart with joy
The journey's on the cards
I've called the Prez and...

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As he brushed his golden locks, he detected something stressing.
The skin around his noble forehead was inexorably progressing!
(Politically correct types tend to call this "follicle regression!")
Alarmed at this discovery, he suffered terrible depression!

"Follicle regression", now...

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