Long Fit to be tied Poems
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While climbing the corporate ladder,
Jill zoomed right by Jack. He got madder
than a wet hen. Then, fit to be tied,
so determined to soothe his hurt pride,
he told lies on her. “Cheater!” he cried.
Everyone knew the unvarnished truth:
Jack was dishonest, mean, and uncouth!
Only ONE paid Jack any attention~~
his employer. I feel I must mention
Jack got kicked to the curb with no pension!
As for Jill, she has earned the respect
she is shown. All know she won’t neglect
any duty, and her employees
know she cares about them. Each, she sees
as a team member she’s glad to please.
The Goblin takes his place TQ at the start of the race
Five more goody two shoes line up through sixth place
Pumpkin bombs locked at the ready
To turn these five fools into confetti
The tone in five, four, three, two, one,
Gang green trees it at the start gun
A red rocket behind him named Spidey puts four to the floor
Followed by some Iron guy who takes a Hulk to the back door
Something Strange lined up at five on the grid
Is number 6 a raccoon or a very hairy kid?
Ten laps in the Goblin out front who would have thought
The Hulk smashed to number two, a pumpkin all that he got
The Goblins on rails with his slick ride
Did he coat his tires with Astroglide?
The rest of the pack fit to be tied, but they couldn't find a pass against the other green ride
For the Hulk drives like a giant in a car that might as well be eight bare feet wide
The leader cackles, giving his steering a quick flip
"Checkers or Wreckers suckers" and landing a sick whip
Strange tried some overtly magical quip
No match though for the Goblins fast ship
One lap is left the white flag is shown
The hairy kids missile now known
The final corner the Goblin smells blood in the water
Rocket with the inside pass, Goblins efforts just fodder
Marvel or DC Superhero or Supervillian Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Robert James Liguori
2-26-2024
A desperate housewife I knew
had such mundane housework to do.
Being so tired of it,
she decided to quit.
Then off to Las Vegas she flew.
Having always been such a lithe girl,
she thought “I’ll give dancing a whirl!”
Her audition went well.
From a large oyster shell
She emerged, so they all dubbed her Pearl.
Her skin, soft and fair, shone like dew
as she smiled with eyes crystal blue.
All the men threw her money
as her voice, sweet as honey,
called out, “Let me entertain you!”
As Pearl danced each night, looking pretty,
Her husband, back in her home city,
was fit to be tied,
thinking maybe she’d died!
Poor fool didn’t have a clue, did he!
Unbeknownst to sweet Pearl, her “dear” spouse
had been sneaking off as she’d played house.
To conventions he’d said
he was going. Instead,
he’d been gambling in Vegas, that louse!
Off to strip clubs he’d gone every chance
that he got. How he loved to see dance
naked women all sizes
in sexy disguises
while his wife at home longed for romance.
Now the tables were very much turned.
And her husband was feeling quite spurned.
He would sleep restlessly
thinking where could she be!!
But her whereabouts he never learned.
No longer could he run away
on a whim. He still had bills to pay.
That cleaning and cooking
meant no time for looking
at girls! He had less time to play.
In Vegas, his wife had come far.
In fact, she was a superstar.
Wearing naught but a fan,
she’d entice every man,
then drive home in a pearl-colored car!
Her spouse lost his job. The years fled.
His wife he then had declared dead.
But with no job in sight,
he’d stay home each night,
with loneliness causing him dread.
Do you think this guy ever has let
his conscience feel any regret
that his wife did so much
while he gambled and such?
Has he learned anything at all yet?
Did he marry and get a new bride?
Did Pearl go and change her sweet ride
to a sleek red Corvette,
and did SHE marry yet?
I leave it to YOU to decide!
Written June 2016 for the Desperate Housewife Contest of PD
I was on a mission of my own
Got caught up by her charms
Wanted to spend a little time
Wrapped up in her arms
Missing from my duty station
The captain was fit to be tied
I want to know where you are
Sorry, sir, that’s classified
I knew that there would be hell to pay
When I got back to the base
But my thoughts were on other things
As my fingers touched her face
She was the sun, the moon and stars
Words to an old love song
Her lips, the spark to start a fire
That had been dormant for too long
My buddy met me at the gate
He said man your butt is fried
Where the hell have you been
I said Can’t say, it’s classified.
The moment that I met you
Was the moment that I died.
The moment that I touched you,
I was soon fit to be tied.
You gave me all these reasons,
Then you made it bang or burst,
After all these countless seasons,
There is nothing left but lust.
The energy you needed,
Was what I could not spare.
Should’ve seen early your nature,
But I was young, and unaware.
In one single college summer,
You wrapped me in your daze,
And now eight long years later,
I still mired in the haze.
It’s a tainted emotion,
Puts me up against the wall,
Out of time,
Your love’s not mine,
We’ll never have it all.
It’s a tainted emotion,
Fills me with cold dread,
Should be a dream,
But I want to scream,
When I lay with you in bed.
The feelings I imagined,
Were illusions that you craved.
The lies I told to keep them,
Went on far too many days.
What remains inside me now,
Is weather, tired, and cold,
Not even seen thirty, yet
I’m feeling so damn old!
The pictures we painted
Were shadows wrapped in shade.
The ideal you’re in love with,
Is the dreg of a younger age.
Too tired for pretending
That there’s something we can be.
Time now to cut our losses,
For both of us to go free.
It’s a tainted emotion,
Puts me up against the wall,
Out of time,
No longer mine,
I’m begging for the fall.
It’s a tainted emotion,
And if fills me with cold dread
I regret the day
Made the mistake
Of letting you in my head.
I'm Restless and defeated
Feeling overwhelmed and cheated
My Plate about to topple
Don't you dare pop that waffle
Shut your mouth and the door
Clean the dog pee off the floor
Fit to be tied, mouth foaming
Computer died, phone roaming
Don't look at me with that cheesy grin
My patience, like ice, that's growing thin
Just finished my Alaskan shower
Thanks to you bathing for an hour
Spent my last dollar topping off my tank
Just to find, my car won't crank
Pants ripped when I bent over
Picking up a 3 leafed clover
Dog ran off, didn't think he'd go far
As luck would have it, he was hit by a car
thought we'd spend the day, saying goodbye
Would you believe, he didn't die
At the vet, running up my credit
I'll revise my budget again and re edit
Sporting a cone around his head
The doctor said he should be hand fed
It's ok, I have time to spare
Out of work due to an allergy flare
Looking like a blowfish with chicken pox
Hamster got loose at the delight of a fox
Kids called the cops for animal abuse
Handcuffed for 2 hours before they let me loose
Neighborhood kids, come knocking
I wish I could say it was the least bit shocking
Leaving doors open, letting in the flies
I hide in the bathroom and find I have spies
Little feet under the shower curtain
Bottoms spanked, hands hurtin
Crawl in the bed at 1 a.m.
Sleep for 5 hours, then do it again
I am fed up with being an angry mom
I'm fit to be tied and their doing it wrong
I didn't ask for much, just some time alone
But 4 busy hands are tagging along
Oh how I love them. Let me count the ways
But this different person, this new phase
This figet spinner, epidemic craze
I feel like they hate me, most days
Each day they grow more wise
I see it in their intentional eyes
Manipulating mom provides a rise
With repetitive, horrific sounding cries
Go outside! I can't deal
Yes, my child, I'm for real
I need a moment of quiet and still
It's time to take my happy pill
I'd be long gone if looks could kill
But I'm still alive against my will
There must be a bucket you could fill
Just keep it outside so it can spill
Give me a break and I'll prepare a meal
It's truly a shame to feel this way
It's hard to feel and worse to say
My fried nerves have gone astray
But this is only every other day