Long Exhuming Poems
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In truth we are not and yet our
turbid mind births the sincerest
trance, which somehow stifles laughter
of our heart, not quite aligned with
pulsations of love, until some
quirk of fate, brings to us deep pain,
whence we see clear truth as it is,
whereupon no longer fear fraught,
befriending the void, we free our
soul, imbibing grace of sweetest
outpourings of celestial songs
and thus divine entwined, we are,
as we are, bliss drenched, beyond those
narrow ego spawned desires that
bind and confine, so freed we tell
of our journey within, made of
love and light, exhuming saddest
delusions borne by egoic thought.
Inspired by these lines ~
“Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those
that tell of saddest thought.”
by Percy Bysshe Shelly – To a Skylark
when ego truly dissolves
with no phoenix like resurrection
presence is still but the world revolves
seen then as but a thought form projection
not one with but rather as the energy field
as the very substratum of all existence
truth of God unmanifest is revealed
from Whom there is no distance
luminous darkness of high density
motionless consciousness as the all
potent power hum of infinite immensity
within itself creates worlds as a bliss squall
we as a spark of God are in fact the whole
limitation arises from flawed perception
save exhuming ego there is no goal
duality is a matrix of deception
we are God’s self-existent light
fragrance of love is our effulgence
bliss our nature that we frolic in delight
as bliss dew drops on all nodes condense
I hate that I can write this
Because it means on one level or another
One of us failed the other
Or perhaps we failed ourselves
Did I ever know I'd be your tragic hero?
It's hard to predict when digging oneself out of mud takes precedence
Exhuming myself from my then-current title
And plot points that led me to be buried
It's astounding how a porcupine can truly live
Where the two stand at quill's length
Cautious yet enamored
Wincing as small wounds get deeper
It's further astounding that I parade myself as God
And that I've convinced myself so thoroughly of the lie
That even when hiding the simplest thought as deep as possible
You still managed to cling to the belief
Follow the god that failed you
Or is it you who has failed God?
Has any slight actually been committed
Or are we both so hopelessly tangled in our own stories?
Did I ever know you'd be my tragic hero?
Equal parts pity, equal parts fear
And I let my sun shine bright
With the basic facts of what you are
To fetishize the basic tenants of human courtesy
Did I unintentionally put you on a pedestal?
But I know you've always subscribed to the same flavor of fear
With its ever more generous delivery dates
Perhaps I'm the one being infantilized
How strong are your convictions that you're so convinced you could kill me?
Through daring to show emotion when I beg you to be flamboyant with it
Exactly how hard are you worried you'll hit me?
Thus in the end, we are tragic heroes
You mistake silence for a child's crib
A permanent safe spot for me
To sleep when you're afraid to open up
So here I am, again a tragic hero
Is my mistake thinking that love is for me?
When simply existing is enough
To turn the brightest dawn into dusk.
This lapse shed showers of sorrows
Piercing my diamond heart with its arrows
And as it breaks within my grasp furrows
It paints little hells on my minds marrows
Oh! Pretty maiden so dark and comely
Exhuming my youthful passion spontaneously
With infectious smiles and extorted kisses
Your seduction breaks honest promises
There our shadow coupled in the pool of yesterday’s rain
Ill-memories of passionate groans and silent whisper
Accentuating painful pleasure for gain
A deluded victory, a stunting stigma,?
Growing is the ears to this confession
Of rumbling rhymes and straying clauses
Still before you condemn me pause
To this myth of contrition.?
All paths do seem valid, in their own right
What matters is that we get to the roots
As we embark upon our wingless flight
Moment to moment, as life pulse reboots
Each path requires, that we release our past
In silence, surrender our lower mind
Fearful thoughts and desires, into form cast
Exhuming thereby, narrow ego bind
Mind-body empty, behold what remains
When thoughts are still, bliss within overspills
Our soul shines in glory, pure and unstained
Such is the miracle, of divine will
Bliss within throbs, in continuity
Time stretched stillness becomes eternity
18-May-2021
Knowing life has been already impulsed
We embrace and release both joy and pain
There are in truth no foes to be repulsed
Touch gentle, is free from blemish and stain
Mind-body unless ensouled is but dust
We know our organic form will decay
Why for then do we nurture thoughts of lust
Law of cause and effect will make us pay
Feeding not dark desires, our false self dies
There is no regret, for it never was
Our unshackled soul then flies to new highs
We are living light and God is the cause
Exhuming then, cravings of lower mind ~
Whilst immanent we transcend ego’s bind
29-May-2023
Iberia, I long to breathe you in
as long ago I did. . . and then exhale
sangria nights with lace against my skin!
Sweet temptress draped in beauty, you unveil
Flamenco’s soul, exhuming history -
impressions left by ancients on your face -
from Roman glory’s remnants by the sea
to Moorish structures’ arcs of ageless grace.
Oh, how could I retreat with more to learn,
to make no sacrifice, nor question why
I had to keep my plans and not return
to your broad plains beneath Castilian sky?
Time stole my youth; I can’t go back again.
You could have been my home, belovèd Spain.
Feb 6, 2020
for John Hamilton's "Your Best Sonnet 2020" contest
(my best one that was not at least a previous winner in one of your own sonnet contests this year, John.)
I as in ego, versus I as soul,
indicates there are two of us in here,
so whilst playing out our ordained life role,
what is the vibration, our heart holds dear?
Just like Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde,
in us resides lower and higher mind,
so if on earth we wish to wingless glide,
we must leave cravings of ego behind.
Mind is an instrument and thoughts our slave
but since we choose to feed desire and fear,
being love estranged, we dig our own grave,
as pulsations of true 'I' disappear.
With this preamble, we may now begin,
to connect with love and light, free from sin.
To connect with love and light, free from sin,
it's best we first end head and heart conflict
and in childlike trust, in the void plunge in,
exhuming thoughts that constrict and restrict.
With baggage of fears and desires released,
our soul's awareness shines in its own light,
whereupon grace in-pours, since God is pleased,
who then bestows on us, spherical sight.
Our emptiness draws in bliss magnetism,
inducing the flow of soma nectar,
that ignites nodes within mind-body prism,
enlivening every in-form vector.
God enables when we cease to resist;
in timeless time we become a bliss mist.
In timeless time we become a bliss mist
and false identity within us dies,
paving way for our true Self to enlist,
that our pristine presence flies to new highs.
True life begins, when with love we concur,
recognising that God dwells within all,
upon which in heart we feel His light stir,
which in truth we are, as we now recall.
Lower and higher mind are thus entwined
and thus the 'I' we speak of, is God's spark,
upon earth playing our role as assigned;
beacon of light that banishes the dark.
Devil dwells in darkness, God makes us whole;
I as in ego, versus I as soul.
Akin to the void centred everywhere,
bliss magnetism fills us from head to toe,
as our formless awareness self-aware,
sets sails in the boat God Himself does row.
Pristine presence delights as bliss beats peak,
exhuming the false from mind-body urn
and in the stream of love, we dip our beak,
becoming the flame by choosing to burn.
All that that is transient, holds no appeal,
for now our aura radiates God’s light,
in the glow of which, our karmic wounds heal,
as bliss pulsates within, by day and night.
Breath by breath thus, as delusion’s destroyed,
a million suns ignite our head ovoid.
The search for heaven took me far and wide.
I sat at the feet of many a sage
but all that they did was to point inside,
cajoling that I should turn a new page,
choosing heart over head, that soul may glide,
recognising the world as but a stage.
Enmeshed in lower mind, I was flummoxed.
It was clear I needed to be detoxed.
Knowing not the way, I peeped in within,
negating the flow of thought forms turbid
and so this is how I chose to begin,
doing not what my conscience did forbid.
It did take time but I was freed from sin,
whereupon I felt an energy grid
within my body, enlivened by bliss;
graced finally by Divine Mother’s kiss.
Wisdom of the ancients became mine
and all that I wished to know became clear.
Ceasing resisting, I chose to align
with love thereby exhuming narrow fear
but for God’s touch, I continued to pine,
although His presence always seemed so near.
I remained transfixed thus by day and night,
until I beheld God as living light.
27-February-2023