Long Elmer Poems
Long Elmer Poems. Below are the most popular long Elmer by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Elmer poems by poem length and keyword.
It’s been ten days, the Easter Bunny is gone with hardly a trace,
The Missus is inconsolable- an Easter basket-case,
Evidence in plastic bags, some fibers and some fur,
The family suspects foul play, the police, they do concur,
This once pristine meadow has senselessly been fouled,
Safety and security has now been disemboweled,
“Mark my woids!” Bugs cried out “Sample that bastids’ blood!”
“No one hates rabbits more than that twisted Elmer Fudd!”
“You’re paranoid” Rodger snorted “the one who murders for kicks...
is that obvious cereal killer, the rabbit from the box of Trix,
“Wrong again” sniffed Uncle Wiggly, “you’re no kind of private-eye”
“But speaking of tricks, when you see her next, tell Jessica that I said hi”
“You can’t just point your finger and tell the police to slap on the cuffs”,
You’re so afraid of your own shadow; you’ve filled your pants with cocoa puffs,
Peter leapt up “A demented rabbit killer, it’s McGregor that’s plain to see!”
“He’s got my clothes on a pole in his garden, hanging in effigy!”
Wiggly shot back “…or is it gang related? Their alibis are somewhat frail”,
“Exactly where were those thugs, Flopsie, Mopsie and Cottontail?
“Hanging around Thumper and Br’er Rabbit; I tell you they’re all the same!”
“Do I really have to remind you all how Thumper got his name?”
Borrowing their hole deeper and deeper, down into that rabbit hole
Theories and explanations, none of which could console,
It will make little difference, because now there will be no Easter
The debate will go on and on, as scared rabbits talk out their keisters,
In a squalid little burrow on the wrong side of the rabbit tracks
Amid the empty red bull cans, lies a bloody axe,
On the handle of the door a “do not disturb’ sign is hanging
And in the bedroom is the Energizer; but it’s not his drum he’s banging,
There the recent widow is doing what bunnies do best,
Meanwhile across the field they are laying her hubby to rest.
March 5 1012
With fustigation to amelioration
We are led by The Law to The Gospel
And in turn The Gospel demands we keep The Law
No epistle of straw, there’s room in the hostel
(Because God’s style to the world is hostile)
We are led by the Spirit
To learn to endear it
Endear what? Is a sinful recitation
Learning to serve others in convocation
(God calls us and overhauls us
Whether one by one and together)
How do we inherit eternal life?
By loving our neighbor as serving kin
Who is our neighbor?
The one without (as in not having and not within)
The fustigation of Jesus Christ
Begs our amelioration of a fustigated life
And if a cruciform life is led
There must be blood, sweat and tears shed in stead
(Or instead of the evil in tow as is led here below)
Life is hard, there’s no doubt about it
Jesus’ words touted and shouted from the Cross
But serendipitously (and graciously)
When we lose, we don’t count it as loss
Are you willing to look like a hypocrite to the world without?
Are you willing to look at the hypocrite within?
(As He lived and then hung betwixt two of us)
Jesus took on this struggle without committing a sin
Train On A Broken Track
At one time you created a country
Traveling through land where no one would go
You saw the buffalo massacres
Families moving into the new frontier
Into cities built up along your tracks
But there were men who hunted you
Jesse James, Butch Cassidy and Elmer McCurdy
They became America’s anti-heroes
Men who became legends which still live on
Did you know any of those men
Are they the reason you were left all alone
Dead and resting on rusted and broken tracks
You go ahead and keep your secrets
We will write our own stories
In a few you may be the hero
But, I promise that every story will be good
And you will be remembered
Harold Peters led a very secret life
Totally hidden from his own dear wife
He didn’t work selling quality pork pies
Just another of his devilish devious lies
To conceal the fact when he wasn’t there
He worked in a circus as a dancing bear
He looked so genuine in his bear suit
All the punters thought him so cute
As he waltzed and stepped with skill and ease
That his performing bear never failed to please
And at the right time he would bark and growl
Causing some of the delicate to blub and howl
And show real true fear
Cos the bear was so near
Just an added piece of thrill
And fine tribute to Harold’s skill
He only got the job as a favour from a mate
When the pork pie factory finally shut its gate
And he needed money to make ends meet
But thanks to his skill and twinkling feet
Elmer the Educated Bear of Dance and Fame
Fast became a world known famous name
And Harold earned enough for a faster car
And smoke best thigh rolled Cuban cigars
But very best of all his own sweet wife
Enjoyed more of the better things of life
Inside his suit Harold smiled with glee
As he took his bow on one bended knee
Ah the pleasure and the joys
Giving fun to girls and boys
One last twirl and Harold’s away
Another dollar and another day
Tonight he though he really must try
To remember for his wife a small pork pie
She must never find out when Harold wasn‘t there
He was the World Freestyle Dancing Champion bear
And worst of all, she would think him rude
Cos inside his suit he was in dressed in the nude
Oh woe is me.
Life is bad.
Things are horrible.
I live in pure sad.
I drag my lethargic body
Through mire, muck and mud.
Down in the mouth always,
A true Elmer Fudd.
All things are terrible.
I feel ugly and sick.
You cannot help or uplift me.
My brain skull is thick.
I focus on all bad things I know.
Life is full of meaningful powerful woe.
Oh woe is me. The days are brutally long.
Come back here, I want to sing my death song.
In spite of your realization, there is simply no gray.
Life is horrible and bad, ridiculously ugly and sad.
My friends are all gone, they have all run away.
In my world anyway, things are awful and bad.
the goblins and ghouls were aghast and agog
a brilliantly bubbly boo creature was down in the bog
Friendly Freddy the flippant fly-by-night frog
Raced up to the barnyard to incite the hog
It’s Halloween, and things are not as they should be
The hive down the hill has lost its queen bee
There is a bear staggering around singing off key
Here comes a monster, I think we should flee
The hog was happily rolling his corpulent body in mud
He would not have moved for a crazy rabbit or Elmer Fudd
Halloween never worried him, he liked the extra candy
He always received on the first, when it was thrown out by Randy
He bought it at an estate sale, it had never been used
placed it upon the mantle to himself it did amuse
When company came over he loved to show it best
the urn upon his mantle his home of eternal rest
Never married thus childless a request he made to kin
after his death which one the urn could belong to them
Just place it on a shelf and dust it now and then
and if you spill the ashes don't throw them in the bin
Vacuum me up and empty back into the urn
and let me rest in your home as the seasons turn
Dear old Uncle Elmer more than in your hearts
resting peacefully within your home and hearth
You can chat with me I will always have an ear
even your darkest secrets I will never share
And you can will me to a favorite child
the urn to be a heirloom to showplace in style
Better than to be forgotten deep in a cold grave
the Urn with family I cherished being saved.
Bugs Bunny’s flippant relaxed attitude and what’s up doc line make him funny
Honorary Marine Master Sergeant with his own star on walk of fame, honey.
His Brooklyn accent makes his signature line terrific as does Mel Blanc’s voice.
He is a cultural icon, according to Charles, Patsy, Ted, Sarah and Joyce.
It is a hoot to watch him walk up to Elmer Fudd who is shooting up the house.
Tap him on the shoulder and say “what’s up doc?” as cool as a fed mouse.
Bugs is my total favorite although I like Woody Woodpecker and Taz a lot too.
I think Bugs is particularly exciting, because he pops up out of the blue.
Has the last line many times, and thwarts Elmer Fudd who gets crazy.
One thing for sure, the cartoonists at Looney Tunes were never ever lazy.
Non-bachelor (batch chiller)
"FAKE" horror thriller
available Netflix starring
ghost of Phyllis Diller
stand up comedienne killer
brought down haunted house
witch sea hunt accompanied
theme song referencing Argonaut tiller
Greenwich Village location Barney Miller
lite precinct brewed fare of corpse
unearthed dead comedy duo Meara and Stiller
with surreal stalking candy corn canes
as bon appétit gnashing
gobbledygook filler.
Ice scream aghast with
blood curdling shriek,
the dearth of satisfactory
FIOS shows bleak
readying jump into polluted creek
thus, I bury alive yours truly
except his sharp pointed beak
exhuming him after rotted
flesh doth reek
perfectly tricked out
for Halloween treat
masks long haired
pencil necked geek
October thirty first when freak
alias Gadshill gadabout
poetaster doth sneak
feigning antonym anthem of meek
oh my dog, I lyft hind
uber leg to take leak
hoop fully haint nobody dares peak
urinate kidding ma bladder weak.
I long since waved
channel surfing adieu
much prefer silence
meditating under blue
skies peering into
infinite space nary a clue
intellectual conversation many disvalue
perched edge of seat and hunched over
how riveting story doth ensue
ah... time for commercial break
culinary wizard abracadabra
whips up fondue
easy as pie (are squared)
with consistency of glue
methinks Elmer stole patent,
cuz secret formula Hebrew
what with identical hue
as aforementioned adhesive liquid
doubling up to keep igloo
air tight even against
global warming, anyway would Jew...
aye betcha already knew
yes believe Yahweh endowed Semites
like me with high ike kue
of course after dumping
a load (reed) I feel sue
per ream intelligence dumbed down
(mine), especially after using loo
naturally decrease smarts
stings like poisonous
scorpion size of Eee moue,
which aforementioned papa's
poetic poppycock nonissue
saturating plethora home entertainment
most people overvalue
linkedin - shoot all stemming from
"idiot box" I rarely view.
What if the sun was the moon
And the moon could shine at noon?
What if the earth was the heaven
And everything we ask for could be given?
What if God was Satan
And everything could change its pattern?
What if a long the way you lose hope
And the 'good' Satan gives you the rope?
What if I could be born again
And when born rich I call it a gain?
What if the sky ceases to be blue
And Elmer dislikes glue?
What if the drying of oceans is our fear
And we can fill it with our tears?
What if our hearts are heavy
And our minds are wavy?
What if everyday I meet kissy little girls
And with their hair in curls?
What if I make a lot of fun
And way they run?
What if I broadly smile
And they all go wild?
What if Maangi loves Fred
And Maingi bread?
What if I blindly love Elsie
And everyone else sees?
What if everything I've said is true
And you don't have the slightest clue?
John Lenda (Poetic World,2022)