Long Crack up Poems
Long Crack up Poems. Below are the most popular long Crack up by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Crack up poems by poem length and keyword.
My old cat Herman sure looks like vermin
When we douse him with a bucket of water
His teeth start to chatter, gets mad as a hatter
His master, he'd sure like to slaughter!
With unearthly growls, slinks round on the prowl
For a spot to get back his lost dignity
Under the couch he retreats like a grouch
We crack up in a mood of frivolity!
One day we'll pay for this game that we play
Herman's gonna rip away at our flesh
With an unearthly meow, like a demon from hell
He'll pounce - his dignity refreshed!
So here's what I learned bout the time I got burned
By this human-like piece of machinery
We've now learned a truth, Herm does rule the roost
He's responsible for a change in the scenery!
© Jack Ellison 2012
SKETCH OF A WRETCHED WOMAN
She sat there demurely, her eyes closed shut,
With a formidable weight on her mind,
About to crack up like a brittle nut,
She was in a rather tenuous bind -
Her life's interlude from all love resigned;
An immutable fact caused deep heartache,
She had a unique psyche, no man would take,
Alone in her sea of tears, she was left...
Though her brilliant sketch, an artist could make,
None could portray how she felt - all bereft.
**************
11/01/17
Placed 2nd in "Eight word challenge-5" contest,
sponsored by John Hamilton
What's happened recently I have to tell. (Hiccup)
Wish I could muddle through without a screw-up.
It starts out at a comic show. (Hiccup)
The stand-up doing jokes was such a crack-up
my laughter turned to choking then, (Hiccup)
and from my nose there squirted diet 7-up.
Embarrassed by all this, I got up and (Hic!)
excused myself to the lady's room and quick.
I tried to drink some water and to (Hic!)
apply another coat of Rose glow lipstick.
When I returned, I heard stuff that was (Hiccup)
not for kids and hardly for the ears of any grown-up.
I guess I got back just in time for (Hic!)
that crazy guy's most hilarious shtick.
Laughing violently, I felt (Hiccup)
I once again was gonna have a flare-up.
But why I just kept choking I don't (Hic!)
know, but this time I was feeling rather sick.
That's when I first started doing (Hic!)
this. Wish I'd gone instead to see some flick.
This all happened thirty days a (Hic!)
go. I think I've now tried almost every trick-
from breathing into bags to even (hiccup)
drinking from the wrong side of a teacup.
I'm tired of my husband trying to (hiccup)
scare me into stopping, so I'll sum up.
A guy like me was on Jay Leno's (Hic!)
Show. Hey! I could be the famous hiccup chick!
And yet, of all the things I could be known (Hic!)
for, this has to be the last one I would pick!
Written 3/18/14 for The Tickle My Funny Bone contest
The heat is overwhelming here,
So we’ve been trapped inside,
Except for walking to the car,
Where cool air does preside.
With time to kill, my husband found
Old movies on TV,
Some Groucho films without his sibs,
Not known to him or me.
We still found him hilarious,
A genius at his craft.
I’d be suspicious of a soul
Who watched and never laughed.
The film that followed had the other
Brothers, which just means
More chances to crack up
In many other crazy scenes.
Though people go to Florida
To loll around a beach,
I’m glad, when weather’s Venus-like,
These films are in our reach.
She wandered into the prissy bathroom hating it for its prettiness.
There were all kinds of trinkets and knickknacks
She reached for two, and threw them onto the floor.
The fairy broke into slivers bringing her at least a squeak of satisfaction.
What are you looking at? She demanded of the mirror.
Her face was puffy and unkind dark ugly mean circles under her eyes.
She glared at herself, considered breaking the mirror also.
She was in the mood to break, burn, and stab everything.
Her three best high school friends would all be married after Saturday.
She was the only one left not belonging to anyone.
No job, no life, no hope. Fast on her way to nowhere town.
She hated this house; this nonlife, this feeling of stuck.
The men she had met were liars, and narcissists.
She had been easily fooled by two of them, possibly three.
She glared at herself in the mirror
Feeling undesirable, ugly and unlovable.
You are pathetic! She said to her reflection.
Her brown eyes did not believe her. They laughed.
God I hate myself! She thought.
Received a sliver of satisfaction after slamming a bottle into the mirror.
Watching it crack up into a spider web’s face.
I hate all three of them! She screamed.
But of course, she only hated one.
Long commutes, traffic jams
Accelerate, then on the brakes slam
The drive to work takes its toll
Nagging questions nibble at the soul
Then it's stride into work with a confident air
Lowered heads signal you'd better beware
The mood all-too-often stressed-out despair
By noon you're ready to tear out your hair
After lunch's not much better, then back into the car
Never have eighteen lousy miles seemed so far
Your mind still at work or on the endless back-up
At home trouble's brewing. Are you ready to crack up
You burst through the door, just happy to be there
Wondering why no greetings, just angry glares
Domestic turbulence permeates the room
You just can't cope with all this gloom and doom...
Ah, life in the suburbs, the great American Dream!
Merrily, merrily, spirits exhausted, swimming upstream
A crackle-pop goes up into the night,
the embers shift amidst the orange blaze,
circling moths then back away in fright,
this bizarre sun no longer lights their way.
In lawn chairs we all circle leaping flames,
apple pie moonshine is going around,
Bob made the stuff, no two batches the same,
but still tastes warm as it burns its way down.
My wife sits on my lap with content grin,
the heat puts frisky thoughts into her mind,
want to see firelight on naked skin,
but folks are here, so I guess not this time.
More sparks crack up, amidst the stars they dance,
all thoughts trail off in the fire’s warm trance...