Long Breaking down Poems
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I searched through and through just to find it.
Looked among varying variables, while holding my love's coefficients to multiply with.
I summed up my expressions, ready to find the term
that could be my constant, in the midst of the unknown.
I believed in her geometric prowess.
With the leap of faith, we passed the "sine's," "cosine's," and "tangent's" tests.
The timing was "right-angled"; our thoughts perpendicular.
Yet even as our lines converged, we sought for an equation that would hold us.
She was a ray with infinite possibilities, bending into an arc that waited completion.
My thoughts gravitated towards the center of her attention.
The radius shifted, while the diameter surrendered to the pull of my committed circumference.
A story without an end had begun, circling the horizons of forever.
How could one simultaneously find the root to my happiness without logarithms?
And at the same time, nature, my emotional "parabolas"?
Breaking down every layer of my instability,
by factorising the matrix of my building blocks?
Well, your guess is as good as mine.
She was a mother by nature; "mother-nature" gave to safeguard my heart with the "parenthesis" of care.
There was no calculation that could prove it, yet I was certain.
I needed no probability to determine she was the one.
I was incomplete without her (X) factor.
My (Y) stood in isolation, until I became a function of her unfathomable love.
A derivative that shifted the sails of my destiny.
I’m 15, a depressed teen.
Wishing life was good, but a dream is just a dream.
I hurt myself thinking that the bad stuff is my fault.
I lose my hope thinking life will halt.
I’m wrong, though I wish I was right, for all these emotions give me a fright. My desire is that I’ll be able to survive.
I’m struggling through the days, trying to find someone to help me shoulder the pain.
I talked to my mom, she asked me if I’m ok, every single trouble came out to her that day.
I’m sorry momma for bringing you to my fight, my broken life needs lots and lots of light.
She sat me down on the sofa, brought me a drink, she was hugging me before I could even blink.
Telling me to come to her no matter the hour.
I agreed then went on with my life, sometimes breaking down in the middle of the night.
Once I walked into her room, to ask if she could help, but she was sitting, crying to herself.
I left and went back upstairs, wondering how I could show her I care, for her issues, for her pain.
And me, I would just have to wait.
Mom’s always sad, because of dad.
He’s got double standards and his problems inside his head doesn’t trust anyone.
Not even poor old mom.
My brother, he’s just the same, picking on the 8-year-old, thinking it’s a game.
My 6-year-old sister has nightmares all the time.
Mamma’s always tired, telling her it's alright.
I’m in the corner, don’t want to disturb you.
Why would my life matter when I see hers?
My friends, I can’t tell.
Don’t know what to do, I'm always so depressed, but I use my smile like a mask.
I’m hoping there’s a day that my problems are fixed.
I’m sorry momma, I wish I could take your burden.
I’m sorry momma, I’m another problem with your game.
I’m sorry momma to bother you all night.
I’ve got so much pain.
But my life can wait.
Music by Sheldon King
Open windows of my soul gliding in the knowledge
of my yesterdays
Here I am breaking down the gates, of all my defenses
it is now that my life commences
Refrain: As I move towards, ... move towards
my sane....
Down valleys and lakes and rivers I journey
no way to know which way to go
Walking through alleys of my tomorrows
I leave behind all my happiness and sorrows.
Refrain: As I move towards, ... move towards
my flame...
Open windows of my soul, gliding in places
where I've never been before ...
Here I am, dismantling my failures, setting sail
Refrain: As I move towards, ... move towards
the pouring, rain !
It courses through the blood
hidden from view it seeks out
the T-cells attaching itself
it silently goes to work
Invading and taking over
not caring if it's host
be a young person or old
killing of the white cells
Your gender it cares nothing for
or if you are straight or gay
insidiously it can hide for years
a master of disguise it patiently waits
Growing stronger all the time
breaking down the body's defences
it corrupts turning cells alien
not caring that as it slowly kills
That eventually it will too die
that as it completes its invasion
leaving a sick body open to attack
covered with open sores and abrasions
This silent killer in murdering you
does itself meet its own doom
dying along with its host
will we ever find a real cure?
This is about Aids/ HIV though it could also refer to cancer HIV is ingenious in
its ability to hide itself inspires by Harlan Coben's book Miracle cure
At least I won vast grace
Your face – it shimmers anew
Like snow, caked with morning dew
You glisten in the moonlight
We’re on heaven’s height
We kept on running out of time
But, tonight, it’s you and I, having a sublime time
On the dance floor, dancing in a trance
Dancing in a tranquil trance
We blend like coffee and cream
You boosted up my self-esteem
You made me beam this shining night
I walk by faith, not by sight
Tonight…tonight…
Now, everything is black and white
One day, you and I will shine on
Like the brink of dawn
You took away the coldness of my heart
You are the star I look up to all along
I’m sorry – maybe I wasn’t your kind from the start
But, baby, the DJ is playing our song
Tonight…tonight…
Now, everything is black and white
I lost the feeling of fear
You are the key to endless cheer
You lifted up my frown
You wiped away my tears,
The years of me, breaking down
Mirror the hardships that I have encountered for a thousand years
Now, can you have some empathy?
You provide me with hopes and joys of plenty
You are…you are my sunrise
And I am…I am your sunset
I memorize the lyrics to your favorite song
I’m mesmerized by your sunlit face
In your warm arms, in your warm arms, I belong
I long to feel your embrace of incredible grace
Embrace not me…embrace me not… x2
I don’t wanna be rooted to the spot and rot
Embrace me not, sorrow of yesterday’s tomorrow…
Embrace not me…embrace me not…x2
He is my gardner,
He’s breaking down the hard ground
And pulling out my weeds,
He is diligent in his work
As he plants his seeds.
He wants them to get deep
Down into my soul,
To take root there
So that I can grow.
He is a diligent gardner
He wants me to bear fruit,
See, the seeds are His Word
And the seeds are His Truth.
The thorns and the weeds
And the stony ground,
Are wordly desires
And Satan trying to hold me down.
But I am determined
To be a good gardner like he,
So, I will sow his Word
And live for thee!
I will sleep each night
Without fear,
Without worries
And without tears.
For my faith has grown
And I am strong with the Lord,
I will reap what I have sown
Great will be my reward!
Amen!
When the door closes on a dream
Plans fail and proposals are catastrophes
He reminds me that He is light, He is love
And He surrounds me with hope from above
When the time runs out on my ideas
Strategies and schemes crash to the ground
He tells me that I am His child and He is the life
That assures me, even in doubt, there is Him
The One who makes a way through the fire
That burns away my confidence, my desires
When I can’t find a way to believe or achieve
Everywhere I turn there is disappointment
Breaking down all my expectations, leaving me
With worries and frustrations, uncertainties
Reminders that, despite my faith, there are still
Days when I can’t see the way – unless I turn
To Him and say, “Lead me on, precious Savior”
When the door closes on my heart
Wishes so warm fade from my thoughts
There is One who makes a way through the pain
He helps me to understand that my plans
Are not the only way – If I let Him have His say
He will give me grace to believe in His plans
To lay down my load and take up my cross
Follow Him to the promised land, where I can
Finally know what it is to be completely satisfied
By the joy and love that surround me!
His way – is always much better than anything
I might dream or believe or achieve – His way
Is the way of mercy and hope, peace and light
Love that is eternal – the way to God and endless praise
For the One who brings me through the storms
Into the light where I can see that His love
Is the only way to know what it means to feel
The wonder of One who made my soul live!
For what's it's worth, here's my recollection
Of my young years growing up in Canada in the 40s
Right off the bat, you may think the war years
Were difficult for me and my family
With rationing of food and the everyday necessities of life
I remember my dad dividing up our food in the pantry
And when we used up our share of a certain item like butter
Before the next allotment, we did without
This may sound difficult to believe
This is my recollection... but it wasn't that much of a hardship
This self-imposed rationing was a voluntary thing
No ration police breaking down our door to check us out
As a young lad, they were exciting times
The good guys against the bad guys
We were too young to realize this wasn't a game
People of all ages were dying horrible deaths
It all seemed so distant, so far away
Even though a couple of German U-Boats were detected
A far distant inland down the St. Lawrence River
My memory of that momentous day when both wars ended
Was an overwhelming feeling of joy and exultation
Passed down from the celebrating adults
We in Canada didn't have it bad
But let's all hope and pray that cooler heads prevail
And we don't have another one that could be a war to end all wars
A cataclysmic event so devastating
It would end life on earth as we know it!
© Jack Ellison 2014
The body, like a fine machine,
Needs maintenance and care.
When parts start breaking down, we see
The doctor for repair.
But as we age, there comes a point
Where damages exceed
What we’d require to fix them;
It’s a sorry time, indeed.
We wake to creaks and achy joints
Or muscles going slack
And realize, most reluctantly,
There is no going back.
When cars, TV’s or kitchen items
Need to be replaced,
We, if we can afford to, upgrade
With no time to waste.
Our bodies, though, get just one shot
So when our pains have weighed in,
It’s just too bad there’s no place
We can go to get a trade-in.
Dark clouds fill the horizon.
sweeping through the sky
like soldiers going to battle,
layers and layers of clouds
spreading all around hunkering
in th ground where destiny is bound,
I can feel the wind chill in my back.
and the mad trees running around in the breeze.
and the deer’s looking for shelter underneath the bridge.
the horses and the mules are looking confused.
and they escape to higher ground.
the mad wind sets in ripping off roofs.
rooting up trees, smashing cars
and breaking down barricade doors
it dumps tons of water onto waste land.
flooding roads, villages and town
forcing the people to leave their homes.
and shelter in the railway town
and over in the other State a white
mountain stood boldly at the gate,
but there was no one to make the snow man.
Christmas has come and gone.
and the children were not playing on the lawn.
and the thick snow began to
grow and the wild wind began to blow.
you told me that it was winter.
when I will have a decent supper
when the water receded
and the snow melts
and they bury all the dead.
the exodus will begin.