Long Attendant Poems
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Perhaps you think I’m sitting here, amazed.
Egregious as the test you set me is,
the truth is, I am utterly unfazed.
Desultory, to me, this kind of quiz.
Of course I like a challenge. Don’t we all?
God’s chosen one? The lawyer. He gets his.
Concupiscence I’ll use (I have the gall):
attendant difficulties, I ignore.
Tough polysyllables? The merest squall
before the sunshine. What I most adore,
objectively, is playing with your mind:
you throw me junk, I somehow make it soar.
So do your worst. I thrive on rotten rind.
Opprobrium I effortlessly flout,
neglect embrace: contumely, leave behind.
The rancour’s like the Russians, put to rout,
or North Koreans, tied up, tamed and tazed.
You’ll try, but you will never catch me out.
Foregone is my freedom
My future and it's conclusion
My most detached relationship
To myself now subject
To scathing privately
In installments with you.
Now I confided
“He tends a garden”
How was I to express
Without existential anguish
This irrational leap of faith?
Subjugated or subsidized
It bankrupted my reason
So far-gone was my longing
I was invited to a task.
My lesson was to refute life.
Something I had
Already accomplished.
So I confided.
“He tends a flower”
Half-witless or absent minded
I felt no connection
To your thankless doctrines
And I waited patiently at the end
Of whatever road I had taken
For my choice attendant.
And I confided
“He tends to Petunia”
Just a garden variety generic wordsmith
teasing out reasonable rhyme courtesy ploy;
self plagiarizing boot juiced barely abiding
by ruff dogma, with enigmatic joie
de vivre charisma,
which oft times witnessed
gentle green giant gentile goy
essentially me being a decoy
occasionally rocketing, outsourcing,
kickstarting, feigning
tubby an Anchorite, ahoy!
Life in the K9 corps
ain't so doggone ease zee
absolutely daunting, hence
lemme share with ye
haunting, and unnerving, the whee
kid nasty, short, and brutish
ways, and truth be told,
I would rather be outwardly
hidebound, gagged, and flagellated
(threatened tubby slowly
strangled to death by bonafide vee
numb muss snakes, yours truly
screaming bloody murder,
viper esse scent chilly resembling
caduceus), and/or re:
peat head lee bitten
(till death do us part)
by vampire (weekend) bats pre
dominant lee inhabiting
spooky attic, nee
above cattle crying
abattoir, bovines bull heave -
meeting grisly demise, where prowling
hoodlums - vicious murderous electric
kool aid acid tested gang
infesting mean streets -
viz hit head hay be us corpse lee
ving shot up desolation
(think skidrow) role much
more blood curdling, key
ping adrenaline heart pounding,
and sweat pouring directive hee
ping helplessness 'specially,
when this gree
gear re: us macho foo fighter,
accompanied by my grateful
dead cutting crew - on free
key Friday the 13th
assigned directive to man
the most crime ridden, and be
dev filled violent bailiwick,
donning head to toe
bulletproof suit vests.
Nevertheless, yours truly fraught with
horrendously extreme
difficulty, and more
challenging, enduring, and grueling
than surviving training
undertaking associated
with elite military clique,
and attendant rightfully
earned linkedin prestige
joining: Raiders of United
States Marine Corp,
Green Berets United States Army
Special Forces, or Navy Seals.
(dashed off upon learning untimely demise
regarding prosperous family, whose small
plane crashed. about half dozen years ago,
they lived ~ three doors down from us.)
No words can assuage the deep sorrow,
this once upon a time neighbor
(I lived at 1148 Greentree Lane) experiences
disbelief, numbness, shock...
attendant by an irreparable loss of beloved,
and vacillated how to communicate
heartfelt sympathy,
where words superfluous,
yet... if for that challenge alone,
an affinity with language
spurred impulse to focus upon
bountiness of joie de vivre
imbibed years gone by,
when every now and
again chance encounters
found yours truly (me)
in delightful company
regarding persons whose presence
imbued benevolence, kindness, warmth...
facilitating emotional philanthropy
influenced long term positive memories
to one experienced being
outcast, ostracized, offensive...
courtesy unfortunate series
of circumstances beyond my control,
which voiced unwelcome tension
sabotaged reaching quality politeness
displeased at unfriendly reactions
reflexively, maliciously, impetuously...
did little or no justice
toward conflict resolution
which altercations nearly,
quickly did segway profoundly
into unpleasant standoffs,
yes bias, bigotry, bitterness
begat bisel meshuga
acutely aware I loathe
uncouth actions regarding myself
and strive to remain
affable, cordial, friendly...,
hence an object lesson,
(albeit ex post facto)
to abide by my inner integrity,
ethos, doga politesse...,
especially when pitted against
unsavory electric acid kool aid test
tis then urgently vital to remain
steadfast, and figuratively
turn the other cheek
particularly when populace
under severe duress
re: instigated by pathologically
belligerent, ill mannered, rude...
president whose sets abhorrent precedence,
whereby people of nation follow suit,
yet this concomformist only hopes
to affect positive within world at large.
This poem is dedicated to Cleveland’s own … “Barley House” Thank you for your symbolism of the “White Rose” – “A love and deep respect / everlasting devotion and loyalty to the people you serve...
For 11 years I stepped into an establishment of tables, chairs, and wooden floors…
A true spirit of hospitality, humanity, and Family… The model place that has bypassed many setbacks of
unforeseen storms, battles, and wars…
And
A true testament of your
motivation, strength, and adoration.
So
From your best team players…
(The Cleveland Cavaliers, Browns, Indians, Lake Erie Monsters, and many others...)
We all thank you for your hard work, support
And
Never-ending favors.
For I give you your flowers…
(Corey, Bobby, Joe, and Chris) …The ones that have made a
Huge impact …
From historical and economic facts…
Here I stand…
As a witness
And your Bathroom Attendant…
“House Mom Kat”.
And lastly…
I thank and appreciate all that you do…
So
Continue to absorb the sunshine and the light
My champions…
Continue to go with the flow
Of greatness… And go with God’s
Wind that blows …
My 4 petals’ on the
Stem of “MY WHITE ROSE”.
GP
She ran away when
She was 13 years old
Nobody filed a
Missing person report
Got in with a driver
All the things that he did
Made her convict uncle
Look like a picnic
She thought someone
Would rescue her
She thought the world would care
But they just took advantage
Like they do everywhere
GP you’re a goddess
You’re an angel so fare
A beautiful flower
So delicate and rare
I’ve seen you blossom
After all you’ve be through
There’ll never be another girl
I love like you
She did an interview
When she was eighteen
A documentary
About runaway teens
Thought they agreed
Not to show her face
But she was exposed
To the whole human race
Pimps and police
Could find her now
So she tried to go
Hospital didn't tell her
What she didn't want to know
GP you’re a goddess
You’re an angel so fare
You are a flower
So delicate and rare
I’ve seen you blossom
After all you’ve been through
Never be another girl
I love like you
She now had a baby
Growing inside her womb
Last thing she wanted
Baby strung out too
She kicked cold turkey
She never looked back
Left the windy city
Sold a ton of land
She made her millions
Just couldn't make it stay
Hard to hold on when you
Keep running away
GP you’re a goddess
You’re an angel so fare
You are a flower
So delicate and rare
I’ve seen you blossom
After all you’ve been through
Never be another girl
I love like you
An airline attendant,
A cruise ship host,
Funeral director,
She doesn’t boast
Just try'n to live a life
Be happy somehow
Baby is all she has
All she needs for now
One day she'll find the one
Who's meant to be
Who understands everything
And sets her soul free
GP you’re a goddess
You’re an angel so fare
A beautiful flower
So delicate and rare
I’ve seen you blossom
After all you’ve been through
Never be another girl
I love like you
'twas 'pon a Venice 24-hour layover, when two male members of our airline crew had quite the separate, yet different, adventure.
Flight attendant Number One, who speaks Italian, thought it would be fun to fly his drone in St. Mark's Square... it was fun at first, until he was arrested for doing so.
The drone was confiscated and could possibly have become a Christmas present for a Venice cop's cousin (or, perhaps not).
Among the many convoluted and unfathomable Italian Laws, one states; 'Drones must carry third-party insurance.'
This one did not and, violating Italian aviation rules is an offence, potentially punishable with fines of up to €113,000.00.
Flight attendant Number Two, who speaks nary a word of Italian (nor Chinese), having had a hard day sunning himself at the Lido beach, returned to the hotel and turned in for a good night's sleep.
He woke in the wee, dark hours with the feeling something wasn't quite right.
Turning over, he was appalled to find, not something but, someone sound asleep, and snoring, in bed with him.
Could it be, he had left the door to his room unlocked?
If so, what a turn-up for the books this was.
Turns out, it was a little old Chinese lady, clad in her little old Chinese silk jammies, sleeping peacefully!
Not to put too fine a point on it but, this Flight Attendant couldn't make lemonade out of that lemon, old as she was, as, he happened to be gay.
She wasn't there when he went to bed and, completely baffled by this turnabout, he could only wake her and, as not word one of English did the little old oriental lady speak, shoo her out the door... presumably, disoriented as she was, to roam the corridors, where she may yet be to this day (or night).
kinder park is a meditative garden of beauty
where people go to not fall in love
to develop a kinship with self
serene park that encourages meditative silence
overseen by diligent grove of six stalwart birches
her reflective still waters give subtle hints of an azure sky
her frothy melodic moving fountains are surrounded by pansies
no idea there were this many pinks in this world
there is an ambiance of platitudes and hymns in the air
petals strewn like ribbons on both sides of this stream
as if left by the train of a bride who had an inept attendant
park glorifying deep green shadows trailing after birches
There’s a panda tap dancing in hobnails
There’s an octopus mixing up cocktails
A bush kangaroo
Blows on a kazoo
While the band are all tadpoles or pond-snails
A gorilla is dancing the tango
With a chimp who’s still holding a mango
The chimp wins the crown
For getting on down
To the lambada and the fandango
At the bar there’s a drunk alligator
And he’s fancies a croc who’s the waiter
With so many teeth
He knew there’d be grief
So he’s seeing a pelican later
Well the peacock so prim and resplendent
Gave his coat to the cloakroom attendant
Chicks don’t check him out
Because he’s without
His plumage on which he’s dependant
Then the moose said it soon will be nine
Please finish your beer or your wine
It’s eight fifty-eight
His key’s in the gate
So try not to leave any sign
There's a pen near the big rabbit hutch
With a sign saying please do not touch
A young lad from Goring
Said Pandas are boring
They don’t seem to do very much
Saturday Shopping - In the Day
By Franklin Price
05/13/2020
My mother never drove a car
She said, “That's not for me”
She tried it once, when she was young,
And ran into a tree.
So Saturday, when dad was off,
He drove mom to the market.
She had to go to all around
He would drive to each and park it
I remember first, the A&P
And the Piggly Wiggly store
Winn Dixie came a little later
Now there are so many more
Each one had some special foods
She could not live without
She had to have her bon bons
There was never any doubt
For the twenty dollar budget
Paper bags filled up the boot
Then to a service station
Pulled to the pump, and gave a toot
The attendant who was working
Came to the driver's side
Asked if he could fill it up
For pumping gas, was qualified
He filled the tank for under four
Cleaned the windshield and the lights
Checked the oil and the water
These were the driver's rights
When the gas was paid for,
And with all the windows down,
With four forty AC working well
They headed home and out of town.