Pickles in tea
black beans with cheese
Surely no way to
a man's appetite please
Carrots in lard
cornbread that’s hard
Cantaloupe feathered
and tarred…
His fiancé looked nice
but she couldn’t boil rice
So he settled for a slice
of toast ~ freshly charred
A Pound of Bacon
David J Walker
Think of this
As you think of that
The frying pan seems to be
The logical plan to burn fat
And I get the obvious connection
To my affection for bacon
juxtaposed
To my burgeoning belly
But - - - think of that
The fat just melts away
In the heat of the cast-iron skillet
Think of this
No diet---no exercise--- no way to say it
Other than burn it
Burn that fat away
Before you eat it
It isn’t that hard
to reduce the lard
And then reuse it
Let’s say to
Fry a chicken that is
“Finger Licking good”
I say you should because
Everything about the pig
That I dig
Is organic
Think of that
Burn the fat before you eat it
Think of this
Tomorrow morning heat
The skillet and repeat it
Trump Lump of Lard Horn Haiku
Trump sure is old grump;
Broke ankle slipping on stump,
With lard a big lump.
Jim Horn
HE LAUGHED AT MY TEARS
AND CRIED WHEN I WAS HAPPY
HE SMILED WHEN I WAS ANGRY
AND THROW RICE WHEN
SHE REJECTED ME
SHE LIKED HIS STYLE
AND TOOK A LIKING TO HIM
WHAT HAD BEEN BETWEEN US
WAS ALL THEN RUINED
SHE ENJOYED THE LAUGHTER
WHEN OTHERS LAUGHED WITH HIM
THEY TARGETED MY SUFFERING
AND IT WAS PLEASANT FOR THEM
THEN WHEN THE WINDS OF SUMMER CAME
THEY PRAYED I'D SUFFER MORE
THEY NAILED VOODOO DOLLS
ON MY FRONT DOOR
A QUOTE FROM THE EVILEST OF SADIST
WAS PAINTED ON OUR WALL
LIFE IS FOR WINNERS, LOSERS MUST PAY
I KNEW IT WAS HIM,
BUT OTHERS SAID " NO WAY"
BUT THEY SAW HIS WRITING
AND TOLD ME
WHAT HE WROTE
"YOUR WOMAN IS MY WIFE
AND YOUR LIFE IS RUINED"
I STUMBLED AND FELL BREATH-TAKENED
TO BECAUSE WHAT I HAD SAID ALL ALONG
Trump Looked Like Lump of Lard
Trump looked like a big lump of lard,
No longer soft but he appeared hard;
Hickory to dickory,
And also slippery;
We did need to destroy and discard.
Jim Horn
After cautiously drawing another card,
Have heard that old habits do die hard;
Us likes to whip;
Give us the slip;
Trump's brain is like a lump of lard.
Jim Horn
Everybody thinks I'm weird because I only eat lard.
The doctors tell me that my arteries are getting hard.
I don't consume vegetables, fruits, bread or meat.
People call me crazy because lard is all that I eat.
My days of eating lard will never come to an end.
Why do I have so much trouble keeping friends?
When people see me, they always laugh.
Then they beat me on the ass with a staff.
My sister denies that we're related because I served her lard instead of steak.
Stop laughing at me dammit, I've had all that I can take.
(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.)
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