Lard

Everybody thinks I'm weird because I only eat lard. The doctors tell me that my arteries are getting hard. I don't consume vegetables, fruits, bread or meat. People call me crazy because lard is all that I eat. My days of eating lard will never come to an end. Why do I have so much trouble keeping friends? When people see me, they always laugh. Then they beat me on the ass with a staff. My sister denies that we're related because I served her lard instead of steak. Stop laughing at me dammit, I've had all that I can take. (THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.)