was that a whoopee cushion?
I tried to blame it on the dog, even though I lifted two inches.
No one believed me, because I am gassier than all of the others.
No one likes to eat beans as much as I do.
Kidney bean salad, chili bean soup, refried beans on chips
pork and beans, baked beans, lima beans, pinto beans.
I never met a bean I did not like
Categories:
kidney bean, humor,
Form: Free verse
These high waters are worse than choppy
Scary roller coasters they copy
Our vessel tossed like a sailboat
We can barely stay above or afloat
This storm is the worst I’ve ever seen
It makes my stomach feel green
I am too ill to primp or preen
Tossed and turned like a kidney bean
Categories:
kidney bean, 10th grade, 2nd grade,
Form: Rhyme
give me your aorta ~ and in exchange i will give you a nice pulse
said the kidney bean to a cabbage heart ~ as it openly convulsed
but the black eyed peas protested violently ~ acting with impulse
of course i needed a leek pretty bad ~ and suddenly felt repulsed
Categories:
kidney bean, perspective, word play,
Form: Monoku
She opened her cantankerous mouth and out came the truth
There was nothing not honest about my clever Aunt Ruth
The whats-its and fruts-its were scared of her though.
Especially terrified that she was way off in the know.
She would not hesitate to give her opinions on zebras and milk.
Her ideas were her own, and they did not come out smooth as silk.
She was a big believer in herself, no matter what the whats-its said.
Fruts-its were terrified of her; she had somehow stunned one of them dead.
I said Great Aunt Ruth, why do you always say what you mean?
Why ever would you ask such a silly thing, my nephew, kidney bean?
I mean, what if you offend people, marching your mouth off that way?
It’s me I have to please she told me. I need to be happy at the end of day.
So I followed her around and watched the other relatives look pleased.
They loved it that she confused others. Some cried, bawled, hid, and sneezed.
You either love her or hate her, but she always lives her own fabulous truth!
You have to love someone as self-confident and loud as your lovely Aunt Ruth!
Categories:
kidney bean, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Rhyme
I’m shaped just like a kidney bean
The cutest thing you’ve ever seen
Tho not the biggest one I’m told
Without me you’d be in the cold.
I churn and filter all the day
To keep blood clean the healthy way
God in His wisdom gave you two
But now we know just one will do.
If yours gets tired, begins to fail
Chin up, fear not, no need to wail
Someone may give you one of theirs
Because they always come in pairs.
I’ll always be there come what may
To celebrate World Kidney Day!
Categories:
kidney bean, celebration, health, , cute,
Form: Sonnet
People made fun when I bought an Echo
they said it couldn’t out run a gecko.
Called it a four cylinder sewing machine
about the size of a large kidney bean.
In 01 when the gas was not as high
a manual stick I opted to buy.
I said gas will go up you wait and see
they jeered and laughed, all poking fun at me.
I pampered it with K & N filter
made sure not a thing went out of kilter.
Added a tornado to air intake
increasing mpg was piece of cake.
With windows rolled down, holding constant speed
forty-seven miles per gallon- indeed.
Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey
Categories:
kidney bean, on writing and wordsfun,
Form: Sonnet