Be sure to check the pockets
When you do the children’s clothes.
Clean the lint from the dryer
And the washer’s discharge hose.
Check the pump in the basement
When you get a heavy rain.
Keep an eye on the furnace,
That old bastard’s such a pain.
Pay the gas, the electric
And the water bills on time.
You should make it through Christmas
If you budget every dime.
Put my fly rod, my golf clubs
And my shotgun up for sale.
Tell that jerk-off attorney
The check is in the mail.
I might be gone,
But I’ll never be too far away.
There’s a window needs fixing,
But I can’t remember which,
And that light in the kitchen,
Have your dad replace the switch.
Keep a good sense of humor.
Everybody understands.
Toss a salad for dinner,
Just be careful where it lands.
Lock the doors and the windows
When it’s time to settle in.
Give my love to the children.
Don’t regret what might’ve been.
Set your cell phone on vibrate,
Tuck it in and hold on tight.
I’m gonna call you and call you
And call you all night.
I might be gone,
But I’ll never be too far away
Categories:
jerk off, allegory, death,
Form: Lyric
Sir Henry Jerk Off
balance fo power warning in its utmost desire
cover me Charlie Sheen with his ding a ling
pardon me midnight swing Polar King;
my mind is clear now phone will ring
ten feet tall walk through the mall...
prmote a castaway villager king
Sire Henry nerw his part
a candle light variation through a dream
we look to their sea,
pulsating cock to please enough
dawn rivers threough ther trees
watching H.I.V. donner party T.V.
places we have been
Categories:
jerk off, art, august,
Form: Free verse
We're just friends
I've told you time and again
You locked my dog inside a pen
We really had to make amends-
And now we're just friends
We're just pals
I've said it over and over
You buried all of my oil pascals
Really rude and moreover
You don't even seem to have morale-
So now we're just pals
We're just colleagues
How many times must I say it?
You're such a lying hypocrite
You tried to join all the jerk off leagues-
So now we're just colleagues
WE'RE JUST PAST ACQUAINTANCES
LAST TIME I SAY!
YOU TOOK ALL OF MY MONTHLY PAY
AND TRIED TO ENTER THE GOLDEN SLEIGH!
YOU NEVER WORK AND NEVER PRAY
AND YOU"RE ALWAYS COMMENTING ON HOW MUCH I WEIGH!
YOU HATE MY DELICIOUS NUTRITIOUS WHEY
AND TO YOU EVERYTHING ON EARTH IS GREY
SO TO OUR RELATIONSHIP
NAY I SAY!!!!
Categories:
jerk off, anger, break up,
Form: Rhyme
I
do
have a
Message for
one Harry Manback
it does regard his long Lost Keys
don't Blame Hoffman for his Disposition, you Jerk Off!
You Lied when you said you didn't hold The Grudge as a Reflection of Intolerance
Makes me so Disgustipated, you should Crawl Away
you're a Hooker with a *****
who likes Prision Sex
when Sober
Hush H.
it's
true
Cold
and
Ugly
repugnant
like Ticks and Leeches
say what I want, not serious
But Jimmy in his Mantra thinks otherwise of you
to him you are the Bottom of The Pot, or like Rosetta Stoned on an Opiate
a Schism separating us Right in Two, Stinkfist!
ne'er you'll have Forty Six and Two
like Fibonacci
Pushit and
Jambi
seems
nice
Here's
a
Swamp Song
Eulogy
(Useful Idiot)
Four Degrees of No Quarter gave
to The Patient caught in the Aenima Undertow
skewed into a Parabola
Intension candid
Part of Me
needs to
Sweat
tears
Now
my
Third Eye
becoming
Vicarious through
the pure Lateralus Triad
Categories:
jerk off, dark, farewell,
Form: Fibonacci
Stop watching me with those derisory eyes
sweet like bear claw
spicy like a bell pepper
give me back my barette
I'm not letting my hair down'
from cooties to copacetic my biggest disease
jus like when u was freshman
lost your retainer cried all day
give me back my fanny pack
you kept it all those years
crazy grifter lost on the freeway
looking for route 66 in a gay way
why you back jerk off?
scads of luv but to late
here's a sawbuck go call someone who cares!
Categories:
jerk off, abuse,
Form: Free verse
Pale blue and pink hooded tumbleweeds
Roll down the concrete corridor
Orange sodium vapor half lights
Half lit yellow tagged parking lot
Illuminated fake plastic trees all in a row
While acetylene fires stroke an ultramarine sky
Under stars
Corner homeless stumps and slumps and dumps
Warmed by desolation desert asphalt steam pumps
Electronic red laser reader
Smiling chain link razor wire jerk off greeter
“How are you today, Mr. Jones?”
Categories:
jerk off, imagery,
Form: Free verse
I want to show my body off
Oh so naked and free
Watch those boys jerk-off
Showing skin high above the knee
I want to feel their touch
Feel love in those minutes
Get to kissing and such
Here there are no limits
I want to be an icon
I want that spotlight
Be played like a pawn
Even if it's not right
I want to see their eyes
When they slip inside
They'll treat me like a prize
I'll never become a bride
This is my fantasy
I won't be a bore
I'll learn their anatomy
I want to be a whore
*Written on May 7, 2012*
Categories:
jerk off, fantasy,
Form: Rhyme