Hurted Poems

Capricorn Moon

Feelings, they come and go.
When one occurence hits the core;
Memories of the past begins to play.
I sometimes had to decide how to begin my day before I foreplay;
As it turns out, the outcomes will be a probability of 50-50 .

People, they always evolve.
Sometimes, I wonder whether they're playing their part well;
In the end, it all comes to how the environment shapes them.
I couldn't blame them for the choices they choose to act on;
For I know how different hardships hits people differently.

I remind you again;
Feelings, they come and go.
This time it's the void;
I call upon it whenever I feel overwhelmed with my feelings.
Sometimes, but most of the time, it's on autopilot;
Like a robot who's programmed to feel and not to feel for certain things.

At first, I thought it was a hassle;
But as I grew older, I begin to appreciate how I came to be.
I love my moon in capricorn;
I've yet to learn more and love every part about myself.
I thought I was hard to love;
Later, I found out I was restricting myself all along.
I've regretted how my actions hurted every loved ones;
And forever grateful for the ones who still remains to be by my side.

Feelings

Feeling sad and blue.
Who knew it would be true.
Years ago, it happened.
So long ago, I was near the end.

The assault hurted me, wondering what did I do?
Because of him I can't be me or with you.
I wish I could change it.
Then I wouldn't have be inside and sit.

I try to trust again, not know if there is one.
Otherwise sometimes I feel like saying I am done.
I just hold it with in my soul.
Knowing someday it will go.

Please if someone asks you.
Be sure you stay safe and do.
Helping others isn't what it used to be.
Sometimes I feel like hanging like a monkey in a tree.

We will know eachother for a long time

But I flinched so far whenever you accidently touched me that I hurted my head at the window, 
But I always took a seat at the second chair to be 2 meters from you away, 
But I ignored when I saw your things were lost and knew someone will definetly remind you, 
But I didn't like how you talked with people at all which made me tell you: ,,pull yourself together'' ehat made you hate me, 
But I hot your foot, I would've said sorry to others, but to you I just was even annoyed from you that you wasted that two seconds to look at me.
But I felt disgusted when you looked at me so I looked somewhere else, 
But I pushed myself away from you when you sat next to me.

Never something will bring us to normalicy again.
Just let things be how they are now.
I will not react differently ever.

Will you talk?

Seeing you stand there next to your friend while he is asking me how I am doing,
while you are looking at the ground like lost puppy,
what are you drawing on the ground with your toes?
You are 20steps of him apart,
You want to be a kinda part of it right?
But also not.
It hurted me,
Because even tho you left like a Flesh,
You weren't embarassed facing my red cried face in a classroom setting.

I hate him now

I don't believe you mao.
When you chose to delve into love now, 
you would many things allow.
Some will have a sort of flow, 
but there will be days were you feel kind of low.
But somehow, 
everytime you did a bow, 
he didn't asked questions like: ,,how?"
With yourself, you already ended up making a vow: 
,,I won't hurt him"
Even though at the end he might've hurted you and you would end up with a grim, slim and thin you still,
I am sure, 
Want the behavior to trimm.
Haven't you once cried a day when you were on a Trip with your class and he looked at you "weirdly'' because you sat at the ground to let his bestfriend sit?

Who are you to ignore me now? You hurted me, I just

Please just stay there.
By the side.
Following up with some hi's, 
or maybe not.
Just don't feel shaken up, 
I tried to zip myself in a warm clothing,
because you put up my silly hat above my head, 
which I didn't notice, 
I thought you patiently just searched footage, 
It's just, 
everyones eyes got bigger.
My fingertips have gained confidence, 
don't think, no I am enjoying the maintance, 
I never have been like that.
Since you did that.
But it hurted me, 
when you chose full of stubborn not sitting next to me, 
even though it was a group work, 
and rather you would get a bad grade.

Serious

,,you became serious, it doesn't suit you" 
The stepping in situations with fully unknown?
,,it's something positive, to just experience and ignore" 
That I haven't become stubborn?
,,funny jokes, with all getting along" 
Hurting people till the wound is bleeding twice?
,,finding alternatives and trying to make things to better" 
Lying to yourself? 
Who Lied to you? 
When your phone fell in water it's broken,
it's isn't the phones fault because it is a Samsung and not iPhone,
when he hurted you he hurted you, 
he is bad for you and not ,,everyone makes mistakes"
when mom screamed at you she screamed, 
she is mad and not moody, 
when the Job didn't accepted you it didn't accepted you, 
not because you are for better, you just don't fit, 
when he doesn't have a crush on you he doesn't, 
not because he already doesn't know you enough, he just doesn't love you.
Man you dumb? 
Life is nothing to play with

I knew it would happen one day but

I really wished we people would forget easily.
Not everything, but daily choices we did which resulted in consquences.
You won't get hurted in double.
Because now I don't need just to explain myself.
Acting like I don't care.
But why is it so hard? 
I hope I don't need to lie again.

It heavies my heart

To know you've gotten more serious, 
just wear the dark ones,
and having you're hair tied up too firm.
To see you flinching when I touch you accidently, 
and you try to distance yourself but also want to help me.
But you try to not seem it to be like you just do it to me.
I remember the times you Held me the doors open and offered me a hand.
It's okay you don't do it anymore.
I remember.
Don't worry, I always liked you even though I never loved you.
I still have your gifts in one of my books.
Don't worry and just ignore me.
I remember.
I won't throw them away.




If you would've said just said this to me, 
I know my mind would'nt go in crisis, 
and I wouldn't tend to be tense.
You know I try to mainatin being me.
I didn't even needed a sorry.
But the thing is, you didn't even talk to me, ever again.
Now I don't know, 
if you don't care, 
or are hurted.

How should I response, 
when there is nothing, 
I can response for?

My head is not working

I want to do all so I don't do anything at all.
My heart is beating fast and I don't know why.
I am not attending at tutoring every monday because I am scared people in my class are going to laugh about me, 
He was getting along with her but it didn't hurted me that much, 
participating I was, 
mistakes making now I am okay with, 
I've got my physics test but I am happy that I didn't failed completely,
some were cheating but the teacher didn't look out, 
I was happy with my little Orange dress and the jeans beneath.
It was kinda fresh today.

I am sorry mom I didn't told you, 
but I am scared to fail class, 
because it is most likely, 
since I only have one A, in sports, 
were my arms feel already numb, 
and I find myself asking people which is much more easy.

Mom, I fell on the matrass yesterday, 
my shoulders hurt a little too.

Mom, I am sorry, 
but my mind thinks of the worst.
No wonder
It is most likely to happen.
Mom? I was about to cry but now they are already dried out without letting go.
Because I know, 
nothing's going to change after I posted this poem.
Mom?

Gentleman,

I have a bestfriend of my own, 
who sees everyone with a critical eye for my protection.
But his bestfriend though, always said hi back when I waved or even just simled at him.
But his bestfriend though, was the one who answered me at 1 midnight when he blocked me with a huge explination even though he didn't knew what was going on.
But his bestfriend though, didn't hesitated of mistakes his bestfriend had done.
But his bestfriend though, always smiled and nodded while my presentation.
But his bestfriend though, distanced himself when I felt uncomfortbale.
But his bestfriend though, made me space in classroom, when his friends wanted to sit near my seat.
But his best friend though,
who just got his heart hurt, 
cheered me up even with just a little gesture.
Even though his heart got just hurted
just
like
mine
But for his bestfriend, I still would do, 
thousands.

Daddys sentence

That event still stucked in my head, 
deep in, 
I thought it hurted my heart, 
but it did heal.

I remember it not visually at all, 
but I remember crying of an nightmare of chacky, 
crying full of sadness, even though I forced myself to take a sip the day before.
Ran I did immedietly to dad, 
you were the only one standing in the dark.
Even though I had the fault, I saw the uncertainy in your eyes.
Gently you pat my head, like you always did and held it to yours.
And you said to me, say: 
"I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan. In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Allah suffices as a guide. Allah is the Eternal, Absolute. He begets not, nor was He begotten, and there is none comparable to Him."
And kissed me on the side of both cheeks.
Now I could sleep tight.

Oh, to get love boombed

And there was this girl, sat in her pretty yellow dress, like a pearl in a sheel she looked.
The smiles she gave me, oh, how her eyes shined 
Mine accidently did too.
Everything she did, ,,entry" was big on her heart.
And how days counted days, rolled up immedietly to this day.
,,The t-shirt suits you!", confused how i was, ,,does she like me?", never a honest answer came out.
So, i touched her hand to see if she turns Red.
And how she did.
The girl i once admired, now must be set to ,,sensitive!" List.
But, i, what should i do?
Presents were overlapping, chats were exploding.
Even my birthday she did remember? 
What is hers? I don't know.
She knows my favourite color, everything what i like, but what do i know about her?
Oh! She i think likes writing, i assume, i mean she writes good.
Oh, i slipped again.
I mean i
What shall i do? 
Ofcourse i complimented her too and took the gifts.
Never talked with her abt it.
Maybe 
Just maybe if i did
I wouldn't have hurted her like that.
But i needed to say: ,,you shouldn't gift me anything".

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the first ladder to get close to divine
It's easy to make mistakes
But it takes tremendous strength to forgive the one who hurted you
According to holly books forgiveness is the quality of divine people
Forgiveness makes life shine
And allow the chains of karma to break
But this concept is understood by few
Forgiveness makes you humble 
And your soul and almighty interwine

Some Emotions of You

People will destroy you, 
Doesn't mean I am hurted now. 

It's just that I allowed people to hurt me, 
They are just used to open a lock with key. 
(Lock- My heart; Key- Sharp weapon) 

No matter how hard you try to look forward, 
They will show you there is nothing onward. 

No matter how hard you try to make them happy, 
They will show you, you are nothing more than a creepy. 

I changed myself for matching surrounding, 
But was unknown that I'm moving towards a painful ending. 

I charged myself purely with positivity, 
But I was unknown that I'm allowing more negativity. 

It has taken time for me to understand, 
No matter how hard I try, if someone won't believe I can't withstand.

Just a dream, to make myself the strongest me, 
With powerful eagle wings to fly free. 

So that people won't be able to catch, 
And I will be able to escape from the world of perfect match.

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