My brother has just got inked,
with style - he's quite a dude
in this we are somewhat linked
as I am also tattooed.
neck and ankle, inked up twice
displaying them with class
though mine is not quite as nice
as it's placed upon my ****!
two Xs,and two chevrons
daughters and direction
as opposed to a gurt pig
my rugby club connection
all worn with pride and passion
suiting one another
each of them our own fashion
for us - me and my brother.
Categories:
gurt, brother,
Form: Free verse
Well shut my mouth you honey bee,
y’all come round for gab an tea
At end of day, when all’s bout done,
lain in the hay we’ll have some fun
Gurt deep we’ll think and spin a pun,
shake a leg, you son of a gun
Well I’ll be damned to hell and back,
now you’ve got me on the rack
Your bright ideas, they come in shoals,
and drag me o’er the cruel hot coals
A slap in the belly with a cold white fish;
cross your fingers make a wish
Now you’ve got the cuffs on me, count
your blessings, one, two, three
Colloquially speaking, life can be cruel;
you won’t catch me, playing the fool.
Written for contest Colloquiallisms, 3/7/15
Categories:
gurt, culture, fun, history,
Form: Verse
Tales of Gurt & Harry
(Pickles & Tickles)
There once was a tart child named Gurt
Who sucked sour balls ‘till it hurt
A green apple pucker
And dreams of her sucker
Made naughty Gurt act very curt.
Now Gurt’s brother was named Harry Larry
his back was so hairy it was scary
When he entered a room
They all cried BABOON!
And they ran round like loons or canaries?
Categories:
gurt, childhood, funny
Form: Limerick