In life’s lowest moments, it is challenging to gather the strength to rise again.
The hurt and pain decapitate your reasoning. Your functions and extremities are paralyzed, it's like falling into an endless pit. Nothing in life matters in that moment, even the wind on your face exacerbates your grief and agony.
In that moment in time, there is nothing to look forward to or to live for, and you feel like you're trapped in that timeline forever.
The hardest thing to do is to take that first step. To know in your heart that you deserve to move toward the light and heal and go through your metamorphosis, and to embrace your reality. That is true strength from within. To transform and evolve and to become a new and better version of yourself.
The strong winds swooned her hair in air
Her tears had welled up inside to the brim
She could not fight alone a battle so grim
They wanted to lay a distraught grief bare
Stalked, abused, and stymied not to dare
No help came to lift her worldview so dim
It seemed impossible to get out of the rim
Gory tales of crushed women did a scare
She hid her disheveled face in her hands
Searched for an inner strength gone trim
Chance of lifting veil of darkness was slim
Her heart had surely melted in core sands
All had chipped in to set her up in a snare
In muddied waters she couldn't well swim
Hopes belied, she could just maffle a hymn
Her confidence was all shattered in despair
2.8.2020
Modified my Villanelle poem titled Grief to enclosed rhyme form.
Be Inspired Poetry Contest of Regina McIntosh.
You knew that you could, I was so naive
I'd just lost the love of my life, stricken
so down with sorrow, I needed to grieve,
I thought you wanted to help, just listen,
all my inner thoughts just spilled out
opened up my heart, secrets all revealed,
my trust in you was without any doubt,
just wanted my wounds to be healed,
seemed like so many hours had past
sore eyes, buckets of tears had flowed,
your kindness would never be surpassed
you knew I was at the end of the road,
suggestion of a glass of wine sounded good
one glass turned to a bottle then another,
your affection shown I misunderstood
suddenly you changed, didn't seem to bother,
suddenly I was feeling sleepy, lethargic
I was awake as you helped me to my bed
not knowing what was happening felt tragic
couldn't understand what was being said,
You were forcefully undressing me
Then I know your intent, couldn't escape
I just wanted to but couldn’t break free
just wanted to scream, shout rape, rape.
8/10/2018
Fool me once Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Brenda Chiri.
Soon the autumn will come
And the winter too.
As I lay counting my days -
I wonder, will this autumn be my last
season?
Yet I long for winter and spring too,
Will my dying day be happy as I am
now?
Yet I long for sunshine and
moonshine too.
Will I be able to face my death?
Yet I long for more years and
immortality too.
Will my soul reincarnate after I go?
Yet I wish but hate this life too.
Will I be paid for my deeds in
eternity?
Yet I don't believe in superstitions.
Will I be welcomed in heaven?
Though nobody has seen heaven and
hell.
These questions are mysteries
And I'm entangled in grief
Searching for the answers !!
Excruciating loss of limbs
As tears run uncontrolled
I feel abused.
Not physically or mentally,
But internally.
Everything within has been barricaded
by hurt and anger.
Pain takes over all of my organs riding it like a
ranting bull,
Awaiting the finish line.
Time moves faster and I still feel empty.
I still feel the pain.
It has dissipated a bit but,
No matter what, it's still there.
What's left of my tired soul peaks
through,
Any open holes or gaps that may reveal itself.
I just can't seem to shake off this agony and in
the process,
I die slowly.
Internally rather than physically
Because I have been that much abused before.
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