Gorm Poems


Premium MemberWithout Gorm Part 6

The age old question!

Broccoli or cauliflower?

Sid would stand and look at both

Turn them round and smell with nose

Find his own puzzle and all the woes

For which to eat? Who knows?


Ten minutes could go by

As he stood trying to work out why

He could not make up his mind

His wife was so very kind

She'd leave him there
...
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Categories: gorm, funny,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberWithout Gorm Part 5

Birdwatching from a hide

Two old gents sit side by side

As the rain settles in

Sid reaches for his tin

"Cheese sandwich Frank?"

"Errrr, no thanks, they look a bit rank"

"It's only cheese and bread you know?"

"Yes, but how old Sid, HOW old?"

"I found them in my shed, been there a while since they were made"

"Look....a Water rail Sid"

Binoculars
...
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Categories: gorm, bird, friend, friendship, funny,
Form: Free verse


Premium MemberWithout Gorm Part 4 - Can You Guess

Sid and Frank are having a conversation in Sid's shed. This is usually the extent of parlance between the two men. Please remember, both are the most gormless men on the planet.

Can you guess what they are talking about?

Well?

Yes...

What?

No!

Didn't?

Did.

Ok?

No.

Sorry!

Yes......

Tea?
...
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Categories: gorm, funny,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberWithout Gorm, Part 3

Sid pointed to his mouth and told Frank:

"Dentist pulled my tooth out"

"Hurt?"
 
"I"

"Why?"

"Doesn't work"

"False?"

"No, it hurt!"

"False tooth?"

"No, it was mine"

"False teeeeeeth?"
Frank said now pointing to his mouth!

Silence

Gormless 

"Tea?"

"Jammy dodger or custard cream?"

"Bourbons!"

"Not got none"

"Still got some left"

"Where"

"In my mouth!"

"Bourbons?"

"Teeth"

Without gorm, both men.
...
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Categories: gorm, friend, funny, humor, old,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberWithout Gorm Part 2

Frank stood looking at his plants

Sid said: "Frank what you looking at?"

Frank said: "My plants"

"Oh, well then what, I'll join you"

Frank looked at Sid 

Sid looked at Frank

They both then slowly turned their heads to look at the plants

Silence ensued

Gormless both men!

"What a' the doing?"

Said Sid to Frank 

"Growing"

"Ah well then...can you see them?"

"Stood here
...
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Categories: gorm, friendship, funny, garden,
Form: Free verse


Premium MemberWithout Gorm

Frank said: "what's the story?"

Sid said: "what story's that then?"

Frank looked at Sid

Sid looked at Frank

Silence for a minute

Gormless both men.

"Slug ate my lettuce"

Sid pointed to a corner near his shed

"Eeeeeh, well tha' knows what that 
means don't ya?"

"What's that then?"

"Time for a cuppa tea Sid"

"Best put kettle on then"

"Strange things them slugs aren't they?"

"Pity,
...
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Categories: gorm, friendship, funny, old,
Form: Free verse
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