This morning, teacher said this week:
"We'll syntax Shakespeare used critique.
We'll cogitate and cursive write
And elements and odes recite.
We'll nuclei and despots learn.
To Babylon and Ur return.
We'll corollary facts deduce
And calculate hypotenuse."
At practice, coach explained his way
Of basketball our team will play:
With box-and-one and trapping press
And low post screens we'll have success.
Our give-and go will stretch the door
And back door cuts from picks should score.
Our weave will freeze their match-up zone,
And Kevin, put away your phone."
Then later in a chair I lay,
Prepared my dentist to obey.
"Extractions must ensue, my boy.
But nitrous oxide you'll enjoy.
Occlusions and abrasion wear
We'll mend with orthodontics care.
Of gingivitis, there's no sign,
And EMG's are looking fine."
Except for phone, I cannot say
I understood a word all day.
Categories:
gingivitis, basketball, confusion, humor, school,
Form: Rhyme
Impending doom, if warning comes before destruction;
When is it the last warning toll?
Darkness leads the night
Impending doom, if warning comes before destruction;
When your texting and walking
Watch out for the curb and stop light
You envision the spoon in the pot;
On the stove you reach for it, guess what it’s HOT
Impending doom, if warning comes before destruction;
You smoke that cigarette yeah! It’s tight, it’s all right
Git an extra break just for it…
Something said though When God gave you lungs
He’d only wanted His breath in them
Impending doom, there’s no room
What is this thing called blindness
If I look at the sun, the moon, place myself twenty-four inches from the television
I ain’t going to move blind???
And what is this non-sense why I got to brush my teeth
They have been white since I was in my teens
Now that I’m thirty-five gingivitis got me bleeding out my mouth
And what is this biblical thing warning comes before destruction
Both my parents are now deceased
Now what is this deduction?
Impending doom, if warning comes before destruction;
2/25/20
For Warning Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
gingivitis, analogy, anxiety, caregiving, how
Form: Dramatic Monologue
Scenic Toothbrush came to a screeching halt
Jasper’s habit to bruxate had ruined his mouth
His teeth were in ruins. What was the point?
Plaque jumped around taunting scenic toothbrush.
She felt intimidated.
She dialed 911. Asked for the supervisor.
The tooth faerie rarely got calls,
Especially not from Scenic Toothbrush.
Photos were texted back and forth for six minutes.
Jasper’s mouth was in dire straits.
Are they fixable? These teeth were devastated.
The most horrific case ever.
They decided to let them fall out
One by one
Gingivitis disease.
It was the only way.
Categories:
gingivitis, health,
Form: Narrative
Robin the lollygag prince of evil was nowhere in sight.
Batman was beyond irritated, and he had a right.
He did not want to be mean, but bellow he did.
He woke up Robin, where he had so aptly hid.
Batman’s gingivitis was so bad in Arthur’s face that night,
He was glad when he saw the Batmobile go out of sight.
Poor Arthur promptly brushed his teeth, and ate chocolate he found.
He hit his goose down mattress, and did not make another sound.
Categories:
gingivitis, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form: Rhyme
I once worked with a youth who had gingivitis
Twenty years younger yet she already had arthritis
Pretty enough in spite of her dermatitis
She so craved attention we all thought caused by meningitis
Winters seemed worse with time off due to bronchitis
Bouts in hospital for appendicitis and diverticulitis
Regularly like clockwork she came down with severe vacationitis
After each self-prescribed vacation she’d strangely suffer from moneyitis
She talked our ears off we kept hoping she’d get laryngitis
But no, it was only bursitis and colitis followed by gastritis
Ms. Black sure was high maintenance with her neurosis and neuritis
AP: 1st place 2025, Honorable Mention 2020
Categories:
gingivitis, abuse, imagination, psychological, sick,
Form: Monorhyme
Osteoporosis, spinal stenosis
halitosis, that's the grossest
Hemorrhoids, hypo hyper thyroids
gallbladder removal will leave a void
Arthritis, pyelonephritis, gingivitis
we will survive in spite of these
Toe fungus will not be the death of us
its' cure you will ask what was all the fuss
Crooked toes, snotty nose, itchy down below
Pancreatitis, gastroenteritis, myocarditis
cannot frighten us, though impotence might
and possibly to a womans' delight
on not
Torn rotator cuff, oral cancer from rubbing snuff
COPD will make you huff and puff
Diminished brain, malfunctioning drains
generalized aches and pains
of these we are not deprived
BUT, it's still awesome to be alive
Categories:
gingivitis, health, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Drugs Are Safe
Toximints cure Gingivitis, keep breath clean and breed bacteria
Come with a money back guarantee with rest and also good for death
Sold in packs of 10 to delight and whiten teeth
Takes smiles away as advertised
An added bonus is the hemorrhoids
They come for free with every purchase
Chew them at church, as a remedy for pox
Don’t read instructions
Swallow them whole. Choke a chicken first for luck
Toximints are good for children too
It may cause cancer or drowsiness in the young
Don’t drive machinery while using it
Studies show it causes sudden fatality as prescribed
Ask your doctor what you should do
Easy to consume in capsule form or pills
Like all pharmaceuticals, keep them out of reach
The makers want to thank you for your support
Swallow products they endorse
This drug is safe. We love your money
It is advised you take it rectally for best results
Our sponsors insist you die to buy more of our stuff
Categories:
gingivitis, abuse, addiction, business, confusion,
Form: Free verse