Funnysnow Poems | Examples


Snow White and the Horney Dwarfs

The dwarf told Snow White from his heart,
“If you wish to stay here, please don’t fart.”
Our objective is to always please,
But we need to mount you on your knees.

If you think we’re coming on to fast,
it’s just because we like your ass.
And maybe with a bit of luck,
You’ll agree to just a little ---k.

If you just want to sleep and sit,
The at least show us a little tit.
We dwarfs are a very horney sort,
So please Snow White, be a sport.

Dwarfs only have tiny boners,
which is why we tend to be such loners.
We’re to little to pop your cherry,
so you’ll still have it when you marry.

We pledge to you on the name of Merlin,
Your Prince Charming will still have his virgin.
So Snow White, what do you say?
Be a sport and let us play.

Premium Member Shovelin' Snow

I woke this mornin' anticipatin' a steamin' cup o' joe,
But peerin' out th' winder, I saw piles an' piles uv snow!
My oh my, how I pined to live in sunny Arizony,
But no, spouse insisted we retire in snowy Colorady!

I would've much preferred to continue my cozy snooze,
But duty called so I donned my mackinaw an' overshoes.
Fer a while that savory cup uv java I must forego,
An' attack th' mounds uv blowin' and driftin' snow!

Facin' me wuz three foot drifts uv that fluffy stuff.
I knew I wuz in fer a formidable huff an' puff!
Neighbors greeted each other with frosty hellos,
Then all dug in with shovels and flyin' elbows!

I had th' sidewalk an' driveway very nearly cleared,
When comin' 'round th' bend a roarin' truck appeared.
Wuz th' county snow removal guy an' with a silly grin,
Heaped snow back on the driveway much to my chagrin!

After a couple uv cups uv coffee that I had consumed,
I agin tackled th' drive which needed to be exhumed!
This snow shovelin' thing is sure gittin' out uv hand,
But I reckon I could be in Arizony shovelin' driftin' sand!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)


Whitey Lights the Snowy Pumpkin Patch

There once was a pumpkin named Whitey.
       Who grew in a field and was mighty.
He had a  high air,
        Because he felt he was rare.
Being white, and other pumpkins were slighty.

There came a big snow storm one nighty.
       And the pumpkins were afraid without a lighty.
But in the snow, Whitey arose,
       On his cold little tip toes,
And glowed in the patch because he was snow whitey.

The next day the pumpkins weren't slighty.
       Because Whitey had come through with a lighty.
So it just goes to show,
       If you're a white pumpkin in the snow,
Your life can turn out to be brighty!!!!!!!



Inspired by the White Pumpkin and the Snow poem contest.

My Favorite Things

THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE
                                            WAKING UP EACH DAY
                          TAKING LONG WALKS WITH MY MOTHER
                                    BREATHING EVERY SECOND
                               SHOVELING SNOW WITH MY FATHER
                           SEEING THE FACES OF THE PEOPLE I LOVE
                          HELPING OUT IN THE LOCAL SOUP KITCHEN
                                          HEARING BABIES LAUGH
                                        READING STORIES OF HOPE
                                         SEEING COUPLES IN LOVE
                      FINDING SOMETHING I LOST A LONG TIME AGO
                                        EATING MY FAVORITE FOOD
                                         CUDDLING WITH MY DOG
                                    LISTENING TO MUSIC ON THE RADIO
                       WATCHING THE LEAVES TURN COLORS IN THE FALL
                                                     CAMPING
                                PLAYING IN THE SNOW WITH MY NIECES
                                             JUST         LIVING!!!       
THESE ARE A FEW OF
MY FAVORITE THINGS

Take Our Snow Please

As out the window
I look, more snow today,
have only one thing to say,
take our snow please.

Six week-ends straight,
snow, snow everywhere,
have only one thing to say,
take our snow please today.

So much snow, so much cold,
snow in the streets, snow in the yard,
snow on the car, snow on my shoe,
have only one thing to say,
take our snow please, we don't know
what to do.

Winter, oh winter please end,
all of this snow, we don't really want it,
snow falling, flakes dropping,
have only one thing to say,
take our snow please, don't delay.

wrote 1-25-07


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