Dance Funny Poems

grandma’s socks 
were hollyhocks

her jumper
juniper

her skirt
was a wort
with a yellowness
but

some days she wore
a purpleness sort

squirm and squirm
and writhe and dance
as grandma’s undies
were nettle pants




...

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I announce a decree,
overactive bladder, pee frequently.
I must haste to and fro,
because I just really have to go.
Gangway, vacate the loo,
or I'm going to splash...

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Introducing... BoneTone™ Music Box!
Tired of basic playlists?
Want music with soul -- and possibly a few spirits?

Crank open your ancestral vault
with the BoneTone™ Music Box--
the only...

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Three times the mass of the sun
were the boobs of stripper, Priscilla the Hun.
And when the adoring men yelled out for more,
she'd shimmy and knock...

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upon his tower dark and tall
malakar stood to doom them all
with lightning flashing, cape unfurled
he cackled, "Now I rule the world!"

he pulled the lever, struck...

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In twenty twenty-four, yet I vibe like it’s ‘nine-nine,
Still rocking the rhythm, still feeling divine,
I’m a soldier in the game, got my crew by my...

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A is for Australia, full of weird beasts,
Where even the cute ones can bite you at least.

B is for Brazil, where football is life,
And people...

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In the twilight's glow, a wild allure,
I find a treasure, rugged yet pure.
“I want to hold your gator sack,
Its rugged charm pulls me off track.”

Beneath...

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A flaming contrivance of heat,
The dumpster was quick on its feet.
It danced on its toes,
Though why, no one knows,
A partner it never did meet....

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In Nutty Dreams, a world so grand,
A sweet escape, a nutty land.
Nuts Galore, a vision bright,
An ocean nutty, cool and light.

I long to plunge, with...

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In the corner of the room, you slyly creep,
With your two cents ready, promises to keep,
A dime-store detective, prying in my space,
You're such a penny...

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Let's dance for the dead,
In beautiful nightmares, 
And together we create the most eccentric tragic story,
No one has foreseen,

Will you be my Vampire?
...

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They label you a rogue, a jest,
A playboy cloaked in careless jest,
Yet here I stand, my heart steadfast,
For in your chaos, my love is cast.

You...

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Across the street, it’s hard to miss,
That fixer-upper in a state of bliss,
With peeling paint and the promise of change,
Yet one stubborn strip remains, so...

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Blind Man’s Five-Legged Dog Rap 

Yo, gather 'round the table, let me spin you a tale, 'Bout a blind man named Benny, he was never...

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