Funny Fun Poems

an ostrich learning to swim in the sea
his neck like a stick floating vertically
swirling and rounding 
and bobbing a wave
an invisible hand stirs a big...

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bread butter and greens
a salad of vines and trees
a coleslaw of densely grown leaves
and boy did I want to add cheese

though tougher than tough
it was...

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I wish there was a way.
I could save some money today.
By not buying that shirt.
But that would make me hurt. 
I could save the money...

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I would have been here sooner
But I got in a fight with time
And lost you see. 
It wasn't fair.
I slept in a little bit, 
and...

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I trod in custard thick yellow and cream

                 ...

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I packed my worth on a dinner plate
and walked afar out to sea
you see

I reached an odd little island
shaped like a banana and pea
you see

I...

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I once spied a bold mouse with the hat 
is there anything dafter than that
at this sought after headgear they’ll chase
on their crown crown it...

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the werewolf who knitted a cardigan
began because his gran was ill
as she began but became unwell
with winding winding woven wool 

so gran oh gran your...

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alien armpits 
dripping shimmering sweat orbs
on the crop circle  
...

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She’s fast, faster than you can handle,
sculpted curves, flawless skin,
deceptive power beneath,
and that look…sexy, predatory,
frightening, but I still want it.
I want to be inside her,
feel...

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troll a troll who whole was tall
taller than not being small
ate nettles thorns flowers and plants
spiders worms and sometimes ants
but they tickled and itched 
a...

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Ding skipped and skipped and skipped
Dong hopped and hopped and hopped
Dang ran and ran and ran
Dung jumped and jumped and jumped

they laughed in tune
they played...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal) 
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam


2.
onions (red) 
tomatoes (finely chopped) 
garlic (four cloves) 
fireman's ladder (aluminium) 
disparity (secretly hidden)...

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so walking through the forest
out walking on a walk
passing tree after tree after tree
then a tree showed me its bark
interesting I thought
and so too did...

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Me
And so there I was
in a house, but it wasn't a house
it was a shop, but not any old shop
it was my house and I...

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