Here I am, a clown, night after night
I make them laugh, applaud, smile
With my pantomime, dumb show
They think it's an act
That after the show I go back to my real self
What if they knew there is no me?
What they see is what they get?
A long time ago I have decided to become
what everyone already thought I was
A clown
To them I was nothing but a clown anyway
Jittery, jumpy, twitching and stuttering
Gay and small and vulnerable
What I would like
What I would really like?
For you to see right through me
right into my heart, and kiss me?
Hear my voice and have patience
let me speak my words
of humanity, of being human
Make me feel human again?
Wrap your arms around this
small twitching frame
And hold me.
***
Copyright Darren White
Our eyes meet and we make a connection,
Although sometimes it can be a painful business.
Mirror man lives on the bathroom wall
Thinking that I am indeed the lucky one
As he performs the same dumb show every day.
His tongue was cut out at birth
So it falls to me to write down his story:
I leave the light on for him out of kindness
And sometimes show him photographs;
I see gratitude in his eyes because
He doesn’t have any other friends.
I want to break the mirror and let him out
But I think it would be bad luck:
He would disappear
And I would be left with no reflection;
Like a vampire.