Q: Who is the current Chief of Staff?
A: The resident President.
Q: What is an old, lame, deaf, half-blind Sherlock Holmes?
A: A defective detective.
Q: Who is the magician who ate all the pasta when no one was looking?
A: The linguini Houdini.
Q: What is a day in the life depiction of the First Family on view in the rotunda of the White House?
A: An Obama diorama.
Q: What is a doctor who operates on a big fish to remove the roe?
A: A sturgeon surgeon.
Q: What disease did the star of "Veep" get from drinking unbottled water when she was in India?
A: Julia Louis-Dreyfus typhus.
Q: What is a debutante dance for snakes, alligators, etc.?
A: A reptilian cotillion.
Q: How do people in third-world countries view America's "open door" policy?
A: As an immigration invitation.
Q: Selfridge's was a fine example of what kind of department store?
A: A Victorian emporium.
Q: Where would you be if you found yourself trapped between this world and another?
A: In dimension suspension.
Categories:
dreyfus, humor,
Form: I do not know?
La Fée Verte, Mistress of Wormwood,
High Consort of la Belle Époque,
Shimmering with joie de vivre.
She’s holding court with bohemian charm,
All haute couture with feathers and furs,
Promising what fools believe.
One spends the night with mademoiselle
In bondage to her whims and mercies,
Content to be softly chained,
Then wakes up nude in the Paris Commune,
A subject of interest in the Dreyfus Affair,
Wishing one had just abstained.
Categories:
dreyfus, addiction, allegory,
Form: Burlesque
"Every day will be better and better, Comrades!"
--thus Nikita Krushchev to Soviet citizenry, nightly on TV
before suddenly disappearing from public view in 1971
"Every day in every way I am getting better and better."
--thus (former mental patient) Inspector Dreyfus
before his unfortunate demise in the 1976 film
'The Revenge of the Pink Panther'
What do you think? Was there a link?
Categories:
dreyfus, crazy, philosophy,
Form: Free verse
(Henriette hired Fernand Labori, the superstar
defence lawyer who had recently acted for
Dreyfus. Old and cynical, he advises her to
play on her sexy image.)
6. Fernand Labori
I've long since left off thinking of it thus.
It's putting on an act, that's all it is.
The ones who play it honest miss the bus.
You'll give it drama, colour, fervour, fizz.
A woman's always stronger than a man,
since men are tethered by the nether parts.
I'm sure you'll give it everything you can.
Your jurors are all men -- so break their hearts!
You have the looks, so hit them where they live.
You shot a man to death? The nation shrugs.
The only thing the French will not forgive
is if you're sexless. Let them see those dugs.
Admit it all, and argue crime of passion.
Oh yes, you took a gun, but meant restraint.
To win the women, wear the latest fashion:
to win the men, it helps if you can faint.
Just flash an ankle, watch them strain their necks.
(And still, we label you the weaker sex!)
Categories:
dreyfus, history,
Form: Rhyme