Young John Cooney was no troubled lad,
It mattered not that he had no dad;
A loving home and family kept him glad,
He seemed content with his lot, rarely sad.
Young John Cooney was no troubled lad,
Middle of the road was he; no extremist rad.
Teachers couldn't remember him every getting mad;
He'd never been sent to the office for being bad.
His clothes were fashionable, if not the latest fad;
His room 'typical teen-ager,' a pretty cool pad.
True, he hadn't dated much; he was shy a tad;
A few of the girls interviewed said he was a cad.
Yes, Young John Cooney was no troubled lad,
Til he fired the shot from which his best friend bled.
She came in flying sheet of ice an icing on the cake
For that matter idle chatter frisky kitten chilly cold
Oven ready eyes are beady dough is steady simple bake
Funny spicy squashy swishy kitty kitten beauty bold
Feel the hammer on the tamer Blakie beeper well done
Susie Moosie silky milky fickle trickle stories told
That is good for Louise Lucy get a nosy beetle bun
Horny Forney makes a journey on a mushy maudlin street
Eddie uncle cried uncle beyond all this fiddle fun
Spoony Fanny ice of fire had a bun in oven kit
Paul the swoony took a Cooney out of a meaty stew
Pummeled horses ran onto borsches Kitti kitties fully fit
Icy darkness gives all souls a perky kitten mew
This closes scores of stooges give the poor devil his due.
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