Best Yap Poems
Renegades Foreva!
Renegade teenage rage babes
thinkin’ they all grown, all knowin’
when they seedlin’s barely sown
bleedin’ teenage angst with teenage crankst
always rhymin’ and mis-timin’ some poetry-crimin’
mis-mashin', diss-bashin'
word-clashin' song
heard on some half-sappy, sex-happy,
yap-rap, smack-attack vid
made by some brotha who’s just anotha
angry angst-ridden
wannabe gangsta kid
With a street beat
they be hummin’ or singin’ along
repeatin’ the deceit
not knowin’ curse verses
are just plain wrong and mostly maligin’
while grownups in earshot
takin’ all them swearshots
wishin’ them words had sweeter rhymin’
or that kids be more discreet
would take their claptrap,
no-class, crass-crack lyrics
and just tweet ‘em or mime ‘em
But if ‘dults could go back, meet themselves
when they was punk teens
fittin’ into pre-shrunk his or her hunk jeans
listenin’, partyin’ to poppin’ rockin’
unusual musical junk boy band scenes
and lettin’ out star-struck
super-charged
groanal hormonal
no-one-could-understand gland screams
then they’d be amused ya know,
might change their views ya know
cause remind ‘em not so pristine
when child and ‘dult they was in-between
Kids always lookin’ to find
who they are and who they be
imprisoned involuntarily
in their youthful penitentiary
no matter what century they be from you see
So if thinkin’ rap sucks cause
it’s just no-class hurls and low-class slurs
then fire-up that flux capacitor of yours,
head back to yo’ past and meet yo’ younger him or hers
see your own rebelling mis-teen-stakes
then rapping notions you might reshape
or rapping judgments remake
or least maybe now tolerate new-age teenage
rapping outbreaks and in-yo-face ear-quakes
realizin’ that come whateva or wheneva
that all teens now, before an’ where-eva
will evamore and eva be
natural renegades foreva!
© 2014 all rights reserved
There once was a cat who hadn't much sense.
He liked to sit, every night, on a neighborhood fence
And sing, at the top of his not so sweet voice,
A medley of cat songs of his personal choice.
He'd been told many times, in no uncertain way,
That he'd be wise to sleep nights, and prowl in the day.
Because near the fence that he seemed to like best,
Lived a hard-working man who needed his rest.
So, late one night, in the light of the moon,
He climbed onto the fence and started to croon.
The sudden appearance of that unearthly sound
Aroused, from its sleep, the neighborhood hound.
With the yowl of the cat, and the yap of the hound,
The midnight was filled with the maddening sound.
From the house near the fence, you might understand,
Came a groan from the neighborhood hard-working man.
The poor, distraught man jumped out of his bed!
He ran to the window and stuck out his head.
He fumbled with this, and grappled with that,
Just anything handy to throw at the cat.
He threw both of his shoes, some books and a broom,
And everything else he could find in the room.
The symphony ended abruptly that night
And suddenly all was peaceful and quiet.
Next morning the cat limped home to his place,
And, believe it or not, he had a frown on his face.
Now, this might sound funny, but I assure you it's true,
Where everyone knows one should wear a hat--
--the cat was wearing a shoe.
A hot cup of tea greeting me—
first thing in the morning,
wife smiling unconditionally, xo!
hot water on tap, tsh…
neighbour’s doggy popping in to play,
“yap..yap..”
adding to the warmth,
a nice, steaming breakfast,
finishing the punch line of a poem—for a contest
colleagues in the department patting me on my new shirt,
boss on the phone, “good work, so and so!”
overhearing students chattering merrily—about my latest lecture
a brisk round of tick-tock table tennis,
back home for a sumptuous dinner
and chat with the family, “haha, cacka…packa.. he he”
dozing off while reading a book—zzz...
all these things do happen to me or anyone —
but not on the same day!
Actually, there may be water on tap—not hot
Or while petting, the neighbour’s puppy
pisses on your new shirt…etc!
It is after all my notion of a perfect day—a daydream!
***
Winner, Poetry Contest sponsored by Madison Demetros, December 5, 2017.
In perpetual slow motion the wheel of fate will turn,
What is given in abundance will surely be taken away.
Leaving only questions of why that scald and burn
When the bill seems so unfairly high to accept and pay.
For the lean will yap on the heels of prosperous fat
A dire warning that silver linings are a one way gate.
For when I blindly come out to take my turn to bat
I'm unaware of the curve ball thrown by fickle fate.
So I bargain with God and Fate and Lady Luck
Omnipotent in some far off nebulous recess.
In rules beyond my understanding I am stuck
A helpless pawn in their intricate game of chess.
For fortune can shatter and turn on a simple dime
I search for meaning in a game I don't wish to play.
In the running sands of my life and remaining time
Illusive hope the only constant I pray for today.
In perpetual slow motion the wheel of fate will turn,
Surely giving back that which has been taken away.
Everlasting hope and despair that evolve and churn
As I drink deeply from the cup of maybe-some-day.
looking at the sky so blue, white distorted clouds,
all alone, nice and peaceful away from the crowds,
enjoying the silence, not being bothered, clouds rarely moving,
A gentle breeze pushing them on, cool and soothing,
swallows and swifts, darting around catching flies,
sharp shrill echoes through the air of babies cries,
clouds changing as they move along, changing shape,
hanging from the sky like a soft comforting drape,
clouds create pictures So easy upon the eye,
faces of loved ones lost, makes you want to cry,
I look through the branches of the trees,
sound of rustling leaves and humming of bumble bees,
calming effect of the warmth from the suns rays,
feeling contentment, carefree, a world without dismays,
the sound of a fountain, water falling in a pond,
no stress, no disasters, no urgency for me to respond,
gnats dancing in the air, they are very erratic in flight,
little silhouettes against the sky, to watch a real delight,
then a vapour trail from an airplane appears across the skies,
like a grey stain, on a blue cloth, then fades and dies,
a flock of white doves start flying around, what joy they bring,
like heavens white angels so graceful on the wing,
the yap of a dog in the distance can be heard,
yet the feeling of happiness can not be deterred,
wonders of nature not having to compete,
plenty of everything food and water to drink and eat,
wish it could be summer every day of my life,
a world in harmony, peaceful, no confrontation, no strife.
so as this summers day comes to an end and evening in nigh,
to that beautiful blue sky we say goodbye,
we wish for the same another summers day tomorrow,
a day like today, a day without any sorrow.
24/05/2017
Welcome friends, I know you will be most excited
with tonight's special guest that we have invited.
So, let's give a round of applause and a cheer.
Punctuation's star, Exclamation Point, is here.
Welcome. It's good to see you, Exclamation Point.
Yes! Let's do it, Johnny! I just got out of the joint!
My goodness, I was going to say, you're looking trim.
Tell your fans what kind of mess you got yourself in.
I guess I got too excited, opened my yap,
and told Comma he's lost, falling in the wrong gap.
I impetuously started a barroom fight,
my sentences struck him, with raw power and might.
I'm innocent, but somehow, I stir up commotion.
I'm just excellent at expressing emotion!
Hmm, tell us about the emotions you can express.
For example, what about happiness?
What a great question! Glad you asked it! I'm ecstatic!
What was I saying? Whatever, I'm emphatic!
But was it anger that landed you in the can?
Shut up, Johnny, I'll rip your bloody face off, man!
I guess subtlety is really not your ball of wax.
Do you do sadness? Yes, I weep and do my income tax!
Exclamation Point, it sure has been a pleasure.
Thanks, Johnny, I've enjoyed myself without measure!
and remember, Question Mark asks, and Comma will pause,
but an Exclamation Point thanks you for your applause!
After I thought a while it seemed clear
it wasn’t the yap, yap, buzz, ring, chat
that drove him away from the city.
Nor the police alarm yaw-yahing
saying danger or someone hurts.
It was the hands. Hands reaching
to touch his face, his hands, head.
Hand to rub his belly or grip his shoulder.
Hands coming from above, or below,
little squirts tugging at his clothes.
Once away into the hidden places
where no one lives the animals peeked
so further he went, seeking grit
to rub against, hard stone for bed,
the cold of stars above in the night.
A place where lizards basked from afar--
other survivors looking for a drink of water,
a drink of alone to coil within breast,
for weariness to weight the legs
heart pumping alone, be still, find grace
with the end of the tolling bells.
Where self is a light to breathe upon
let flare into true soul, the space
where heart flares out like a beacon
for all to hold and when you’re ablaze
there’s none to say they are you they.
Just peace. Belief. Tomorrow rising
with a hunger that goes beyond feed
goes beyond trust, goes beyond life
to a beauty amazed to find where once
having found blaze it never goes out
ready to hand out and hand out.
es 1/29/11
Dead puppies are no fun
Dead puppies rotting in the sun
Dead puppies have no soul?
Dead puppies it takes its toll
Dead puppies no fun at all
Dead puppies don't chase balls
Dead puppies stuck in walls
Dead puppies hit by cars
Dead puppies out side bars
Dead puppies succumb to Parvo
Dead puppies named Pete and Margo
Dead puppies Frozen cold
Dead puppies never old
Dead puppies never yap
Dead puppies in a little girls lap
dead Puppies euthanize
Dead puppies, Owners out side cry
Dead puppies missing eyes
Dead puppies covered in flies
Dead Puppies covered in feces
Dead puppies torn to pieces
Dead puppies with IV's
Dead puppies with broken knees
Dead puppies that where once sick
Dead puppies do no tricks
Dead puppies do not run
Dead puppies are no fun
***NOTE*** This is a bit morbid but it is the realities of an Animal hospital. I worked at one and unfortunately this is the dark side of the animal hospitals. We deal with a lot of dead puppies.
PILLOW TALK ABUSE (collaboration)
by~ Andrea Dietrich
Again you’re droning on and on and on.
Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.
My time for beauty sleep will soon be gone.
Why can’t you close your eyes?
You know you oughta.
Just press those lips together tight and zip!
My lids are getting heavy as you talk.
So now I offer you this little tip.
Why don’t you go outside and take a walk?
The clear night air might open up your mind.
Before you kill the bush you’re beating round.
You’re killing ME; I hate to be unkind,
But when I start to doze, I hear that sound . . .
Yakety, yakety, yakety, yakety, yak. . .
Please shut your trap.
We’ve long since hit the sack!
by~ Poet Destroyer
Congratulations for thinking your work is done.
You may be tired but you’re not the only one.
I sure hope you like spending your time all alone
All the young ones are grown and away from home.
So, I have no choice to yap yap yap' when you're around.
But, I do this to annoy, before my other annoying snoring sound.
Ever since I remember the beauty line is to late.
Don't forget my yapping mouth is what brings dinner to your plate?
But think of the funny way you want me to zip my lips tight.
My yakety yak is what gets me going through the night.
Retire your eyes else where, if you can't hear me out!
Wouldn't you rather me beat the bush, than to hear me shout.
Your ungrateful ways are like a sleeping pill.
Talking to you is like talking to a wall~ " oh! What a thrill!"
Maybe if you say a word or two, your mouth would put me to sleep
So my dear, talking to you is better than counting sheep.
A collaboration with * ANDREA DIETRICH
My collaboration contest
Rum bottle nods with sanction
on gentle sway
The old dog spat snuff juice
that took wind
Puffins drift below the haze
Cape Flattery
is no tale
Chocolate on a white man,
the solitary wile
brackish breeze
wanders along impressions,
dints in a sea chiseled face
Heads pressed vigorously
to confine what coat resembles
beneath salted rags
Today he lives as Makah
Fair-haired;
Stained by sun and sea
Brows fall low
to hush the truth
conveyed by green eyes
Sun at high noon
jump back from the fluid sapphire
The sea, it whispers
never a lie
Sea lions yap
Snuff juice took wind
Towards Tatoosh Island
rigid draft pushes stares
Aged salt grinned at old thoughts
A child hugs heavy thighs
and bawls
It is hard for him to witness
What these elements can do to a man
Rum
Sea,
and sun
Click
Clack
Click, clack
Click, clack, click
Click
Clack
Click, clack
Click, clack, click
On a steady morning walk -
Got a rhythm going
Hearing aids in
And yes, I'm "strollin'"
Click
Clack
Click, clack
Click, clack, click
Noisiest coat in the world.
Thunk
Rain drops falling
Thunk
Click, clack, thunk
Click, clack, clunk
Thunk, click, clack
Yes - The noisiest coat in the world.
Forget it. Focus.
Enjoy the beat
Feel the rhythm
Listen to the tweets
Tweets?!
Birds? Cool, that's sweet
Tweet. Click.
Clack. Thunk.
Tweet. Clack.
Click. Clunk.
Engines ever revving
Bus burps and roars
Noises from everywhere
Just walk. Don't pause.
Roar. Click.
Growl. Thunk.
Burp. Tweet.
Rev. Clunk.
Cold crisp morning
Breath hangs in the air
Echoes in my ear drum
Like a symbol and a snare
Loud conversation -
Don't look back.
Scrape of the foot
Catch a puddle with a splat
Breathy bash
Puddle splash
Click, clack
Click, clack, clunk
Got a pace going there
And enjoyed the view
Tiny terrier yaps
Yes, I heard you - thank you!
Yap. Bloody yap.
Click, thunk, clack.
Keys at the ready
As I get to my door
Clang & bang as they jangle
And pick the paper from the floor
Even newspaper's noisy
Rustles loudly - what a pain.
Hearing aids - OUT
For quiet sanity again
No more click, no more clack…
-I have a dilapidate imagination,
-My mental improprieties describe my intense self-incrimination.
-The accused are my thoughts and mind.
-The truly faulted is my behavior, unrefined.
-I am undefined.
-Because my self-interpretations are blind.
-There is no way to explain nor describe who, what, or when I may or may not be.
-For all anyone knows, I'm the branches of a sweet pudding pine tree.
-And so you're aware of it,
-I feel I must declare it,
-That I simply cannot bare it,
-When I hear the letter p, I must stare at it.
-And get the urge just to say,
-"Punctual porcupines peruse, penalize, and pester preposterously perfunctory parrots,"
-However, saying it aloud, I wouldn't dare it.
-But I kind of just did, contradicting, deserving of merits.
-Now leap into my thinking box,
-I swear, not another paradox.
-In here, there are no working clocks.
-No need for a watch.
-No need for anything of any kind,
-I am a prisoner of my own mind.
-Occasionally going to conjugal visits with myself.
-Me, her, and I really need help.
-Twisted mental health,
-Manically creating my own intellectual wealth.
-Check out my nerdy ninja stealth
-Sounds like "Laughter, yip-yap, squeak, and yelp,"
-Now, I can waste much more time.
-I seem plentiful in rhyme.
-However, you asked for a self portrait, so that topic I will try to pursue.
-But I don't really know what or who to introduce, do you?
The Mockingbird sings out his misleading best,
in hopes to attract a dupe with a nest,
where the squatter believes mate’s eggs should belong;
so mimics and jabbers uncountable songs.
Catbirds and Thrashers, related critters,
both grey North Americans sport throats of a twitter.
These gifted Warblers mock tricky bird tunes,
deceiving, deluding as feathered dragoons.
In fairness to balance the Tweeters’ intent,
creating, demanding a need to invent
a song to attract a new or lost mate:
so, a beacon to follow and commitment to state.
EXAMPLE MOCK SONGS
whistling, hey-hey yip pittie-yap
frog gurgle, snarf-chickie claw-saw
peep peeping piccolo-staccato bleat
sniftering chit-chat, yodel-do do
snerling, rat trap, blah tat-tat-tat
crunchy nasal chirp, coo-coo-coo
It's a lovely day in Cyprus, there's not a cloud in the sky,
We take stock of the life we have,sit back and happily sigh.
We saw a cruise ship near the harbour the other day,
It stays for while,it makes folk smile then goes on it's way.
We're not going out because Fran wanted to stay at home,
She said she was feeling tired, and didn't feel up to a roam.
This is one of the pluses that come with being retired,
You don't have to do a single thing, unless you feel inspired.
So I now sit at my computer, Fran has gone for a nap,
The dogs at my side dozing,I'm hoping they don't yap.
Yes,it's a lovely day here in Cyprus, something very nice,
I'll go make myself a refreshing drink and pop in a little ice.
Maybe I'll write some verses, what theme, I do not know.
I'll sip my drink and have a think,then maybe I'll give it a go.
© Dave Timperley 26 August 2016
Wonder if everyone looks as goofy as me
When I open my yap and about to sneeze
Till a bug does invade
In my throat it does stay
Noticed it was wearing a pink chemise
© Jack Ellison 2015