Noxious Noises

I must say that in my four score years I've done it all and seen it all, But in the autumn of my life, noxious noises drive me up the wall! I like the soothing sound of most music and birds trilling in the trees, But, Lord, spare me the wheezing of those bagpipes, if you please! I like the sound of thunder and the rain falling softly on my roof, But I could strangle the neighbor for letting his mutt yap and woof! I can tolerate classical music until the prima donna Madame Zaria, Begins to belt out her raucous contralto in an intolerable aria! A most trying nuisance and I suppose one of my biggest gripes, Are kids with boom boxes and their jalopies with those roaring pipes! I don't mind the occasional rumbling of a train or the screaming jets, But when dining I suffer acid reflux hearing inane cell phone vignettes! I've got a bone to pick with the inventor of the wailing saxaphone! That and the squeaking of a clarinet are more than I can condone! I like western musical harmony sung by "The Sons Of The Pioneers." But spare me those "She Done Me Wrong Songs" - they aggravate my ears! Why can't folks keep their cats inside so they aren't yowling on my lawn, And a hex on the dude revving his Harley Davidson waking me at dawn! I reckon before I blow a gasket or worse yet lose my poise, I'd better rush out and buy some ear plugs to stifle that noxious noise! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved