Best When Pigs Fly Poems
I was helping a customer with her internet issues,
and remarked that before we’re done, that she will be
like one of our field technicians.
She indicated that she did not want to be a network guru.
"When pigs fly,” she said. I told her that I had read an article of a
farmer that had done just that, he was able to get his pigs to fly.
He had strapped small jet engines and wings to the backs
of his piglets, started them up and away they went.
He had them launch from the barnyard with some geese,
horses, chickens, cows and newsmen looking on.
Lead heading on the local newspaper article said,
"PIGS FLY, GOOSE IS COOKED".
The farmer was sorry that the goose was too close
to the action, but had a great victory meal..
…and the customer was laughing so much that she
didn’t notice that she had accomplished the task at
hand, and was able to get her internet up and running.
Rudolph lost his red nose one day
Sneezed so hard, it flew far away
It landed on a pig
Who tried to fly, not dig
“When pigs fly”, he heard someone say
Heidi Sands
12/14/18
Placed 4th in Funny Reindeer Limerick Contest.
raining cats and dogs
missing the boat at rat race
dreaming, when pigs fly
Starting from scratch, can we imply
Was there a time when pigs could fly?
There's Mary Poppins, Peter Pan
the Flying Nun and Superman.
Starting off in different ways,
all of these flew without delays.
But tales of Wilbur and Arnold,
Porky or Piglet, none were told
from the vantage point of flying.
Imagine that you were lying,
telling stories that were untrue
about a Pegasus that flew.
Scratch that horse and make it a pig,
a Pigasus with wings so big
he'd fly straight to Pinocchio
whose tales could make a playroom glow.
This Pigasus sets up a test
to see whose ballyhoos are best.
When pigs fly you've unlocked the latch -
stretching the truth, starting from scratch.
January 23, 2020
Brian Strand's Strand's Choice 4 contest