Best Ug Poems
I just KNEW I was a woman
a woman inside a man’s body
therefore I went under the knife
(My surgeon said it went well)
But when I looked in the mirror
I was appalled and yes, horrified
Even after applying makeup
and donning a push-up bra
I was just plain----Ug-LEEE
(We shan’t discuss chest-down)
Thus, I had a change of heart
I wanted to restore my manhood
and kindly asked my doctor
for a reverse operation...
Wanna know what she told me??
“GIRL, you ain’t got the BALLS”...
Categories:
ug, funny, girl,
Form:
Light Verse
.
overcast sky broods, darkens, threatens
crystal creek tumbles, splashes, sparkles
"nagalugitom sa dag-om ang kalangitan
nagalukso-ambak, nagkidlapkidlap ang sapa"
might be the sky envies the creek's mirth,
the frolic of butterflies and damselflies
"basig nasina ang langit sa kalipay ug hudyaka
sa mga alibangbang ug tapuri nga nagdula-dula,"
that fly and flit and tease the gleaming ripples
near glades of green and flowers in bloom
"nagsaoy-saoy, nagsakdapsakdap sa tin-awng tubig
lunhawng kasagbutan ug mabulokong kabulakan?"
frolic and fun.."paghudyaka? pagmaya?"
spite and envy.."pagkamaigihon? pagkamasinahon?"
.
Categories:
ug, nature, sky,
Form:
Pastoral
Ang kahimtang sa pagka-estudyante
Dili sama sa pagdula ug online game,
Na kung ikaw buot ng mapul-an
Sayon ra kaayo nimu ning iundang.
Sa gikaingon pa sa usa ka istorya,
“Ang kinaadman maoy pundasyon sa atong katilingban.”
Busa estudyante isantok kinis alimpatakan
Ang pagtuon aduna usab gisapnay na tulubagon.
Tuod man ang kapit-os sa kinabuhi imung mabaktas
Peru dili kini ang rason ng ikaw muatras;
Kay ang pag-atras usa lamang ka timailhan
Nga ikaw way pagsalig tuod man talawan.
Busa ania ang matahom nga tambag
Sa mga kabudlay, hagit sa katilingban ug temtasyon,
Ang pagsalig sa kaugalingon ug Labing Halangdon
Mao’y labing maayo nga dapat nimung buhaton.
Kay ang tanan usa lamang ka pagsulay
Ug dili angay ikabudlay bagkos atong ikalipay,
Matod man angay igapasalamat sa Labawng Gamhanan
Kay kini timailhan, kita iyang gipangga ug gipiyalan.
Categories:
ug, career, education, middle school,
Form:
Classicism
S ilent night, cold night, frozen the drapes,
I n fog's advent, beryl chrome, winter's finger grips
L ivid network of view-less ether. Laser body
E ncapsulate chill, reproduce serenity, an energetic memory
N ow on shepherds' muse. Brew widened gaze,
T ug at ciliary components to drive in your daze.
N ight of delight, dabble upon us staggering shafts of bliss
I n this way we are Oliver Twist, expectant eyes
G row quivering wits, drawn bar chart, statistician's story
H istory and bleakness of inequality. But you O Night beeps
T actfully-toy cat, serene not to wake darkly, dawn that sleeps.
For Francine Roberts 'Holiday Acrostic Contest'
Categories:
ug, inspirational,
Form:
Acrostic
T olerance to prejudice is not my style,
A bility to care for others is a deep pile,
P hysical fitness a little thread-bare - I neglect,
E ducated and outspoken are not a defect,
S teadfast husband makes a softer side,
T hreads of family love, my greatest pride.
R ug or art, bright colours fill your eyes -
Y outhful appearance for all to despise.
Written August 5, 2012
Categories:
ug, funny, prejudice,
Form:
Acrostic
Never bug the Ug Wug, or he’ll be bugging you.
He lives inside a cold dark cave near Douglas Avenue.
Some people say they’ve seen him swimming in the tide.
Spinning in a whirlpool, he’s quite preoccupied.
Never bug the Ug Wug. Please leave him alone.
He’s been around since Water Street was laid with cobblestone.
Some say he’s prehistoric, half-lizard and half-seal.
He’ll look at you with big red eyes and make you his next meal.
Never bug the Ug Wug, especially not in Spring
When gasperaux are on the move in an endless string.
He’s gluttonous and greedy with a massive appetite.
When it comes to empty bellies, he’s very impolite.
Never bug the Ug Wug. He’s faster than you think.
He’ll swallow you in one large gulp as quick as you can blink.
When thunder rumbles high above; when rapids race below,
Don’t let yourself be swept away in the undertow.
Never bug the Ug Wug. He’s why the Falls reverse.
The Saint John River is afraid of this antiquated curse.
If you’re fishing in the current, and you feel a stubborn tug,
It better be a big striped bass, and not old Mister Ug ……. Wug!
Categories:
ug, fear, myth, nature,
Form:
Rhyme
Aniay USA ka lamok nga miduol kanako
Naghinayhinay ang iyang tingog
Apan ako lang kining gepasagdian
Nagpuyo ra kini tapad kanako
Sa dihang nakita ko ang akong gihigugma
Siya nga wa ma ako og ako nga wa ma iya
Pero siya ang kinasingkasing kong kalipay
Unta ako muduol pero naunhan sa lamok nga ge atay
Sa dihang minglayo na ang lamok kanako
nagkakusog ang tingog miini
Deay to ningtugdon og ga palibot kanimo
IMO kining ge warawarahan
Apan ako imo lang ge snob.ban
Ug sa pagduol niini kanimo
Mas gitagad mo pa sya kaysa nako
Nakabati ko ug kasakit
Bisan og wala ko gepahit
Samtang ga lupad-lupad ang bigaon nga lamok
Wa ko kasabot ngano kana imong kakuyog
Bisan naay mas tarong sa duol
Adto hinuon ka sa insekto kaysa nako nga perpekto
Piste kasakit
Categories:
ug, allegory, animal, best friend,
Form:
Free verse
ang bidlisiw sa adlaw adunay buot nga ipasabot,
ug ang mga isda nagpatim-aw aron mo saksi sa bag-ong adlaw,
nangamuyo sa kahitas-an, nanghinaot nga mawagtang kining katalagman,
apan ang huyuhoy sa kadagatan puwerteng linawa,
ug miduyog na ang mga langgam sa pagkanta,
klasi-klasi nga tingog ang imong masayran ug madunggan,
adunay kasuko, kasagmuyo, ug kalinaw,
kahibolungan ang panghitabo apan padayon lang.
sa paggakos sa bidlisiw sa adlaw sa kalibutan,
ang kabudlay ug kalalylay sa lawas nailisan og kalagsik,
apan timan-i nga ang kapildihan ug kapakyasan dili maoy katapusan,
usa lang kini sa mga sinugdanan sa imong paglaroy-laroy,
apan ang katalagman nga atong nasinati adunay kasulbaran,
salig, dasig, tuo, sugdi sa pag-ampo nga walang pagpamakak,
moabot kanimo ang kalinaw nga dugay ra nimong gihandom.
daghan kaayong balabag aron mawala ang imong kadasig,
apan lungkaba ang imong hunahuna ug kasingkasing,
ayaw padala sa hunghong nga napuno sa kasagmuyo,
bentaha na gyud ang usa ka butang nga adunay pagsalig ug pagtuo,
apan kon kan-on sa kangitngit ang kalibotan,
ayaw kahadlok—ayaw toguti nga dan-on kas kalibog,
kay bisan sa pinakangitngit nga dalan adunay kahayag,
paglaom nga imo rang makita sa imong dughan,
kuhaa ang yawi dinha sa imong giliran,
sugdi na sa pagsaysay ang imong sugilanon,
ayaw kaulaw—walay angay itago, dili perpekto ang tawo,
hinay-hinaya pagbadbad ang hikot sa imong kasingkasing,
sugdi na sa pagbasa ang berso nga angay sa imoha,
tan-awa ang panganod maanindot kaayo—walay sama;
apan nasayod ba ka nga sa imong pagpiyong adunay pasabot,
sa pagsidlak sa adlaw, sa pagsalop sa adlaw,
sa pagmata sa kabuntag, ang kapildihan,
ang kapakyasan, ang katalagman sa kalibutan—
nayasod ba ka nga aduna kini buot ipasabot?
lantawa ang luyong bahin anang mga panghitaboa,
masayran nimo ang PAGLAOM nga napuno sa KADASIG ug GUGMA
sa usa’g usa nga dili mawala bisan pag mapakyas ang tanan,
tuo kaniya—maimoha ang kalinaw nga dugay ra nimong gihandom;
kay adunay kahayag luyo sa kangitngit.
— John Wilhelm.
Categories:
ug, allegory, art, blue, books,
Form:
Free verse
A fter a long drive we arrive
N ice looking hotel reception
A feeling of sensual anticipation
U ndue pressures on our emotions
G irl hands over keys to lovers convention
H ug you close, touch to please
T urning into a wanton tease
Y ou open the door to let paradise release
W e let our bodies do the talking
E motion shaking fingers do the walking
E asily we touch to thrill
K nowing our love we will fulfill
E asing out of our clothes, nerves are seared
N estling my breasts with your beard
D arling all inhibitions have disappeared
A ll feelings of frustration no longer exist
W et with longing for much more than a kiss
A t home our loving was getting staid
Y et here we are getting well and truly laid
Just goes to show that a naughty weekend away can spice up your life.
Dated 6 February 2013.
Categories:
ug, love, longing, sensual,
Form:
Acrostic
Drugstable [dr-ug-sta-bul]
I can't count days or people.
Time hasn't gained weight
in all it's extra hours,
yet yellow tape
only lasts a while.
The desert wont keep you
from water;
reality sleeps within its enemies...
and I'll keep licking tongues
till the pains quenched.
Lying with citrus roses on the white wall.
Categories:
health, imagination, life, drug,
Form:
Verse
S hare your love along the way,
P ray for others every day,
R ejoice and always be gay*,
E ncourage in what you say,
A ppreciate straightaway,
D onate your time, stop to play,
I nspire with your word array,
N urture goodness and display
G rin radiant, cheerful sway,
H ug when needed, fears allay,
A ssist the aged in dismay,
P raise, positive traits portray,
P romote peace, elders obey,
I nvolve in good works, per se,
N ourish love, be that bright ray,
E mbrace differences, yea,
S erve humbly, be kind alway,
S mile and problems go away.
*gay - happy
21st March 2023
For Anoucheka Gangabissoon's "Spreading Happiness" contest
Categories:
ug, cheer up, happiness,
Form:
Acrostic
For the break.fast at hand,
So that I'll understand,
He makes me a sloppy jo.
... ug. So over I rolled.
She nibbles at JO,
waves g’morning to MO…
Mmmm.
A tasty treat, made so sweet,
I’m glad, one of us can cook…
First it was Sweez, now it’s Swowz…
I politely, normally don’t eat cows.
Having said that, while I pet my cat,
I’ve bitten in anyway.
Was like the day, the corn turned grey,
Was that by chance, in May?
!! Eleven elevens !! cried those sevens,
While being tossed into the pan!!!!
Who is the cook with spatula hand,
Who is the chef, and Who, this man?
. . . . .
Little salt my dear?
Little taste on the fix?
Was that May?
Or did you say May-trix?
. . . . .
With the morning JO,
He makes Sloppy MO!
How can I show him, to understand….?
My friend the chef, reads to the left,
So Who, is the spatula’s hand?
Psst…
They want a plan.
Four corners are on…
and the Dan said ‘when’.
. . . . .
Don’t assume, my cutest Jew,
That spelling is all for not.
My dog is a Rot, but a Rot she’s knot,
And the language She barks is new.
Did you want that clue?
Bye and bye, for now I must fly,
My belly has quite the mix.
Did he say JO, or was that MO?
I know, SHE said May-tricks.
. . . . .
Hey Jo…?
Little Do,
Rayed me,
but falls hope?
Know,... T.
La.tte...my Dear?
Satire is *****.
Hugs you love,
The morning calls,
From Above.
Xoxox
. . . . .
Makes note: keeping friendship.s.new, that's me and you.
~I'm such a muse.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
~wow and meow the Catz say, how,
!~! did he fix you, a sloppy JO?
Does he not know,
That you never show,
Your face, in the drive and go?
~except maybe four treats,
that have no feet...
Like the splits, and
the camels, pistachio...
~and why aren't cow,
a treat you say?
~they have square feet,
and it's knot my way.
Categories:
ug, adventure, brother, devotion, fantasy,
Form:
Ballad
‘Let me help you’ I heard a voice say,
From a sweet little old man as he walked my way.
I was twice his size, my bags weighed a ton,
But he came and took them and carried them some.
‘Thank you, you are so kind.’ I said to him
As he placed my bags down with a shy little grin.
‘No thank you for letting me help you, there’s not many that would
but you let me help you, and now I feel good.
I still like to feel useful, and like any man I am still vain,
My pride would be shredded, my heart would feel pain
I looked at this little man, while I popped the hood
He looked so happy, that he made me feel so good.
I returned home the shopping now all completed
Unloading my car I was nearly defeated.
There seemed to be lots more now I had reached home
And I had to stop for a moment to answer my phone.
As quick as a flash someone hit me hard
He pushed me aside and I fell in the yard.
He jumped in the car and drove off really mad.
I never thought I could feel quite this bad.
Order restored things back to normal
I pondered my day with the policeman quite formal.
It looks like there is a spate of this, in this road.
I am sorry that you have had to carry this load.
At least you don’t see life as a fairytale book,
But there is beauty in this world if you know where to look.
I locked eyes with this Adonis in uniform, as he winked at me,
He said in my job the ugly side of life, is what I see.
Think back to this morning to your happier mood
You made an old man happy and that is all for the good.
You are made sad by your loss and I know that’s bad.
But worse could have happened so don’t feel so sad.
Life can be hard but listen to me.
Theers just as much good in it as bad and ug – ly.
Please don’t feel sad this did not happen to me
But someone I know in another county.
It happened almost as you read it here
They are well and ok now and have got over the fear
Categories:
ug, life, me, old, car,
Form:
Narrative
D ug it out from under the stairs,
I knew it would be useful someday.
S aving it I was for future repairs,
C huffed I never threw it away.
A ll in good order as good as new,
R atchets and spindles all spinning.
D amned if I know what it used to do,
E minently too good for binning.
D on't care what the missus might say,
...........I'm keeping this sucker for a rainy day.
Categories:
ug, humorous,
Form:
Acrostic
S-accharine
H-ug
I-s
E-rasing
L-ife's
A-nguish
K-eeping
W-armth
O-f
N-iceness
Topic: Birthday of Shiela Kwon (January 19)
Form: Vertical Monocrostic
Categories:
ug, birthday,
Form:
Acrostic