Best Troll Poems
Remember the story
of Billy Goats Gruff?
The troll under the bridge,
and all of that stuff?
If you liked that old story
it's all good and well,
but it isn't at all
the troll tale I will tell.
Now, Trolius Troll
was a timorous soul;
A more timid troll
you never shall see.
He lived in a hole
in the base of the bole,
(that is, the trunk)
of a turpentine tree.
Young Trolius Troll,
I ask you to note,
is a strict vegetarian;
he does not eat goat.
You might not believe me,
but, begging your pardon,
he eats only produce
from his vegetable garden.
One day, after harvesting
some of his crop,
with a basket of turnips,
with some carrots on top,
he strode up the path,
just as proud as could be,
toward his home in the trunk
of the turpentine tree.
Then, outside the door
of his pine tree abode,
was a sight that made
Trolius Troll drop his load.
There, with a chainsaw
and a double-bit ax,
stood a brawny, black bearded,
blue eyed lumberjack.
With his feet wide apart
on the green, grassy ground,
the lumberjack looked
the troll's tree up and down--
Then, laying the ax
on a moist, mossy bank,
he gave the saw's start rope
a sudden, sharp yank.
With a white puff of smoke
and an ear splitting sound,
the saw shattered the silence
for acres around.
The lumberjack stepped
to the tree's sturdy base
with a smile of delight
on his black-bearded face.
Then, the usually timorous
troll gave a shout,
and, pounding his chest,
he went leaping about.
With a wild snarl of rage
and a blood chilling wail,
the once timid Trolius
charged up the trail.
The brave lumberjack
was stricken with awe.
He turned from the tree,
and dropped the chain saw.
Through the ferns and the bushes
the tree feller ran.
and he never returned
to the forest again.
And so ends a story,
that some might find droll,
of a timid and timorous
tree dwelling troll.
But its message is clear,
it’s as clear as can be:
You may monkey about with Trolius, friend,
but you’d better not mess with his tree.
Categories:
troll, children, funny, parody, tree,
Form:
A three-toed tree troll
tried to trap a leaping leprechaun
with a black claw bear paw trap.
But he stubbed toe three in the trap in the tree,
Snip snap toe three was gone.
The two-toed tree troll
tried to trap a laughing leprechaun
with a black claw bear paw trap.
But soon he'd forget where the trap had been set,
Snip snap toe two was gone.
The one-toed tree troll
tried to trap a sleepy leprechaun
with a black claw bear paw trap.
“Go to bed,” he said, “while you still have your head,”
Snip snap now all are gone.
Submitted January 2020 for the "Twist My Tongue" contest sponsored by Nina Parmenter -- First Place
Categories:
troll, humor, nonsense,
Form:
Rhyme
scrolling
trolling
clicking
tricking
to cheat
deceit
snitches
glitches
lame game
for fame
peeving
thieving
maybe
they’ll see
jester
fester
traitor
baiter
drama
mama
dressed in
satin
green grime
cold crime
loner
moaner
Categories:
troll, anti bullying, emotions, mental
Form:
Footle
Nothing frustrates an internet troll more,
than to not get acknowledged, to be ignored.
Categories:
troll, internet,
Form:
Couplet
Our mayor was attacked out of town as he went for a peaceful little stroll.
There was an odor that wouldn’t go away, it was left by a pesty little troll.
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, both male and female alike.
Here they are no longer tolerated, we will just stick your head on a pike.
I went for a short little stroll to check the perimeter outside of our town.
It appears that an old bitter troll left some puddles that are smelly and brown.
Maybe it was a drink with her father that gave her that extra little pep.
Those puddles could cause an infection, so watch each foot where you step.
Our mayor gave a call to old Wilbur, he’s a farmer who can shovel and dig.
He is pretty good at cleaning up messes, back at home he lives with a pig.
On the farm is a sign making spider, once famous but is now known as Jeb.
A few of you just might remember, he once starred in the famous Charlotte’s web.
Together they helped make a sign and then hung it by the Troll’s little shack.
It’s a reminder for this foul little creature, just be careful of who you attack.
Peace is once again restored in Soup Creek, that wretched smell is gone from our air.
Don’t mess with our good mayor Tom, he has friends who love him and care.
Categories:
troll, anti bullying,
Form:
Rhyme
I SAW the death creep three hooves and a beat!
A pregnant silence above violins stressed
strings--||dancing frets ~~~~~~~
A gnome drunk-walk scattering blackbirds
and neon-lit billboards ;a humid Mother Earth
(with no protection)
vaginal-air of sleepy fatigued wooden scents
Post-rain meltdown exhaustion sleeps
in hungry-soil love.
But the gnome cries, "I've no reflection
to redeem...no troll to toll beneath
fire-speaking coins upon my eyes!
Make the Earth Scream. Make the Soul dream.
It is eating me!
:: ~ ::
Categories:
troll, poems, poetry, poets,
Form:
Free verse
"Troll"
The silent
incessant chatter
thick black ooze
jeers and laughter
jolt lightening barbs
slicing a heart in two
the dark undercurrent
pulls a light soul under
while writing life striving revolutionary new
troll smirks suffocating the sands of true
a new tyrannical rule eviscerates
the mind bleeds red
punched backwards
into murky clouds of deadly
midnight black and blue
dead
(LadyLabyrinth/ 2019)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vvs4__2XRI
troll/noun/1. (in folklore) an ugly creature depicted as either a giant or a dwarf
1.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll
2.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll
3.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-07/online-trolls-and-cyberbullies-in-nsw-face-tougher-new-laws/10348246
4.
https://www.iol.co.za/news/world/uk-dad-live-streams-suicide-after-being-goaded-by-trolls-16316715
5.
https://nypost.com/2017/09/04/family-blames-online-trolls-for-driving-young-mom-to-suicide/
6.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6395503/Mother-teenage-son-driven-suicide-online-trolls-tells-heartbreaking-loss.html
7.
https://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2014/10/are-you-an-internet-troll-legal-consequences-to-consider.html
8.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-07/dolly-everett-akubra-campaign/10348252
Categories:
troll, abuse, anti bullying, bullying,
Form:
Free verse
Old King Troll
Had a very long pole
And a very long pole had he
He called for his wife (she’s his trouble and strife)
And he called for his mistresses three
King Troll sat in the middle … his wife said you’re on the fiddle
This fact King Troll couldn’t deny
All the women took a swipe at him and gave him a black eye!
Alexis challenged me to do a parody of Old King Cole nursery rhyme
10~03~16
Categories:
troll, betrayal, nursery rhyme,
Form:
Rhyme
Ignoring trolls here on the soup
should have never become the norm
They even spread their hate on blogs
always staying true to this hateful form
You’ve got to stop and wonder
what fans the trolling flame
Is it their deceitful hate
Or simply seeking others to blame
Maybe some are old and feeble
seeking lost power from their youth
This site provides a dream world
where few will seldom seek the truth
Don’t believe everything you read
you can see each lie if you truly look
The truth will show in their eyes
and how they bait that hook
Categories:
troll, anti bullying,
Form:
Rhyme
Troll me Once
Fool me
Troll me Twice
Pity the Fool
Where you bullied at School
Such is your worth
Is yours to curse
What you ain't
You cannot paint
Nor write
For jealousy and spite
Your bark is worse than your bite
Goodnight
Aspire to better erudite
I call your bluff
Your words are not tough
Hope thief consumed by grief
Categories:
troll, anti bullying,
Form:
Free verse
In the green grassy field left of your eye,
a unicorn dances with a troll nearby.
A dance in harmony unlikely to be,
a mix of tapestry unlikely to see.
One craves magic and freedom, the other to destroy,
Yet tango they do, with chaos and joy.
Yet they twist, tango and play.
One potato, two potato, three potato,
and spin around the grassy floor!
Five potato, six potato, distractions picking up steam
the dance between an unicorn and the troll
might unravel a dream.
And round and round the chaos goes.
Categories:
troll, imagery, imagination,
Form:
Free verse
The shy answer troll in the sycamore tree
Refused to come out for the chickadee.
So we sent our best fairy named sweet pie.
Her wand carved a mark in form of a zee.
Geese overhead flashed a pretty vee.
Sweet pea was the most polite she could be.
She did find out he was Larry McGee.
The next to try was a red bumblebee.
I am sent to ask you to please agree.
To attend our mixer beside the tea.
Our fabulous music and food is free.
The guest of honor is Simon Legree.
Larry McGee got down on one knee.
And took out his favorite fiddle wee.
He shook out his favorite BVD
Began to practice with a hee hee hee
Entire meadow was happy with glee
When the fiddle and the troll they did see
He apologized to the chickadee
She totally accepted his apology
Categories:
troll, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Monorhyme
Grandpa Troll is a merry old soul, and a merry old soul is he.
He came from Hubby’s basement, just to be with little old me.
He brought with him a Dragon egg, that was cute as cute can be.
He gave it to me, making me, as proud as proud can be. Tee Hee!
Now surely, you can see my plight, as my mind has since gone wacky.
He must have thought me a daft old broad, which was, an impossibility.
Tho I conclude, that he’s now right, Oh Whoa! Oh Whoa… Is me!
But I’ll be darned if I’ll go down that path alone, for that’s, just not me!
So now Grandpa Troll pulls Dragon from my trees, after failed landings.
And I play gambling games with an Elven King, so that… if I win…
He’ll replace my torn up, and once… lovely landscape, of forested trees.
He often gives me tips, on how to improve my life, with Dragon, for free!
Grandpa Troll has now taught the basement Trolls, to fix and repair daily.
I must say that our Carpenter Trolls are the best in this, and any, county.
Dragon is sought by everyone, who does want, a new or better building!
We are now training Mason Trolls, for a simple stone castle, to be built.
You see, stone does not burn, and Dragon wants to be the bat, in our belfry.
And we will add a whole silly wing, in which, to house our little menagerie.
The penguins are asking to add a water slide, from the turrets, to the lake.
The pigeons want to have their covey holes, to get in from winters bite.
Yay, verily! Beware! If you think we’re having illusions of grandeur!
The Basement Trolls also want a bigger workshop and a bigger home…
Tho I’ve begun to dream of… just a small… and simple little crown…
Well, tootles to my friends! It’s time to chase that crazy Dragon, down!
He’s again on the prowl! And it’s time I find those lost marbles… I lost!
So I can glue them solidly into my little crown! Please do,Wish me Luck!
PS. I’ve got my running shoes on and will kick Dragon in the butt…
Then I’ll lead him back home, for a delicious, Grandpa Troll made, lunch.
Written 4-4-2016
Categories:
troll, fantasy, fun, funny, happiness,
Form:
Light Verse
We are the tintinnabulating trolls
To the rock rock bottom of our nonexistent souls.
Madder than the maddest hatter,
Hear us bellow, bray, and bleat;
And we prattle pitter-patter
In our jabberwocky chatter
To a bumbulating beat.
See us zim zam zoom
As we're going bim bam boom
In an onomatopoeia that so rhythmically rolls.
We're the trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls.
We're the truly tintinnabulating trolls.
We are the tintinnabulating trolls
With our xenophobic hearts lit like black burning coals.
Hate and anger are our teachers
So we squabble, squeal, and squirm.
We are misbegotten creatures—
With the ugliest of features—
Lower than the lowest worm.
In these premises
We're unrivaled nemeses;
And we burrow furrow mindless like some misanthropic moles.
We're the trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls.
We're the truly tintinnabulating trolls.
We are the tintinnabulating trolls
From compassion and goodness we're at opposite poles—
So devoid of any scruples.
On stupidity we feed.
As our villainy quadruples
We're the most attentive pupils
To insatiable greed.
See us bash bing bang.
Hear us clatter clash cling clang
As we crash upon the shallows of malevolented shoals.
We're the trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls.
We're the truly tintinnabulating trolls.
We're the trolls trolls trolls,
The incorrigible trolls.
We're the trolls trolls trolls.
We're the horrigible trolls.
We're the irritating, aggravating, fascinating trolls.
We're the wrangulating, jangulating, strangulating trolls.
We're the trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls trolls.
We're the truly tintinnabulating trolls.
– Harley White
[From my version of “East of the Sun and West of the Moon”]
Categories:
troll, dark, evil, father daughter,
Form:
Rhyme
(a response to a provocative post)
Your voyeuristic **** post
Has got me choking on my toast
I should have better things to do
Than commenting on sex and poo
Whilst everybody likes a joke
‘Tis somewhat niche, the **** poke
Night up the alley, hard to see
For those without a front door key
What people do behind closed doors
With wives or husbands, friends or whores
Is up to them when with consent
I question, sir, your post’s intent
We English hide within our castles
No comment when it comes to assholes
Trolling really gets my goat
Fie, sir, flounder in my moat
I hope your banal gasket’s blown
Write what you know and get your own
by Gail
Categories:
troll, allusion, anger, england, humor,
Form:
Rhyme