Best Toenails Poems

I used to expose my toes,
went walking without my clothes.
Then, I was bolder;
now, I'm much older,
and my skunky toenail shows....

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My toenails are atrocious
Ugly enough to be put into a record book
Even I gag when I look over my stomach
They stick out of my sandals in irregular points
Some are as thick as a door hinge.
They are impossible to cut, of course.
I have to use a...

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I wish my toenails were graham crackers
They would crumble instead of making holes in my shoes
I could eat the droppings
Or fashion them into a nice pie crust
They would be easier to clip and trim
I would not have to use the lawn clippers
I wish my toenails...

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My toenails have taken on a life of their own.
Unsightly appendages.
Not unlike an ugly claw foot table.
Two of them have grown sixteen inches.
Curling under my foot, leaving a crisp sharp tail as I walk.
One of them is holding a sign that says “Trim me”.
Another is...

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