Best Toenail Poems

Injustices, victimization,
oppression and other yucky events
of diverse varieties,
are like toe nail fungus:
1. both alarming and embarrassing
2. who knows where it came from
3. we would appreciate it if it would return
from wherever to whatever,
as long as it's away from me.

My brown-skinned ***** and disabling kids 
taught...

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Its Big, Its Hairy
Its coming after you
It smells like old dairy
Its going to crack a fuse

It has a secret, I must confess
There is no way to stop its awful smell
Closer and closer, its coming to town
It looks like it came from the core of hell

You...

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Mrs Toenail Fetish

Mrs Toenail Fetish washes her 
toilet paper after 
using it.
...

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toe nail clipper? she asks. I laugh and scoff.
It’ll take a jackhammer to get these nails off.
They are thick, gristly, harder than a screw.
What about sheep shears? Asks my cousin Lou.

She does not have nails like these wretched claws.
I change the batteries in both of...

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My big old honking pointed toenail came through my sock today.
Making me uncomfortable in lots of uninteresting ways.
It is truthfully worrying me a great deal too,
The next thing I know there will be a big old honking hole in the tip of my shoe!...

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