Best Tittered Poems
I was inattentive in Science class one day
When the teacher at random looked my way
I didn't look up, I wouldn't dare
There's no escaping that intense glare.
Asked me to explain to the class
Newton's Law of Gravity and mass
My mind was a blank, heartbeats louder
For an answer, I started to flounder.
I stood before the class trembling with fear
"Gravity," I said..., and then oh dear!!!
I fell off the stage on to the floor
How the class with laughter did roar.
The children tittered in great amusement
They didn't know my sad predicament
The teacher said, "You've demonstrated gravity"
"Although you did it with much levity".
At length, I returned to my seat
With much applause did they greet
Now I look back upon this and ponder
I decide to listen and not let my mind wander.
Categories:
tittered, children, funny, humor, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
My sweet little hands are deliciously pretty today.
I looked down and I complimented them in a big way.
They laughed, giggled, tittered and twirled, so decidedly gay.
Glad of my admiration, thrilled with a little love, they play.
I wish I would do this more often. It really would pay.
They deserve so much more than they get each day.
They give all day long. I admire them in every way.
I may have a parade in their honor at two; can you stay?
Categories:
tittered, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form:
Monorhyme
Enormous hazel orbs peered out at me
from under long, thick, black eyelashes
She looked familiar, this elf with the heart-like lips
There was an innocence about her that enhanced her sweater
Knitted by the faerie grandmothers in their purest lambs wool
Pointed ears were rounded more than most elves, so I now realized
She was a faerie from the faerie doll kingdom down the meadow
She tittered, and the sound blew more dew on wet grasses.
"Who are you?" I wondered, but I dared not move, or speak
Knowing she would be promptly gone, and her shiny brown hair too
She brought a wonderfulness to the woods that day,
This was fifty years ago, yet I have never forgotten her.
Categories:
tittered, fairy, fantasy,
Form:
Blank verse
They all gathered 'round some tittered others smiled
The chesty one with the long legs glared,
Nothing can be more inconsiderate than to be told "no"
Your dream is dead
8/1/'13
Categories:
tittered, dream,
Form:
Free verse
He stood for hours 'neath the inviting mistletoe,
But nary a gal took notice of his miserable woe!
He smiled and made goo-goo eyes as they passed by,
But they just tittered leaving him high and dry!
He slyly pointed to the mistletoe with a silly grin,
But this didn't impress a soul, much to his chagrin!
He shifted from one foot to the other still hopin'
When to his horror he discovered that his fly was open!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2013 All Rights Reserved
Categories:
tittered, heartbroken, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
'Tis said that the first Thanksgiving feast was celebrated in sixteen twenty-one.
'Twas the Pilgrims' first bountiful harvest so they decided to have some fun!
(That was the genesis of church potlucks that are popular to this very day,
And the origin of that American addiction, the all-you-can-stuff-ten-buck buffet!)
They invited Indian friends but with wary eye kept their blunderbusses handy,
In case the guests and their squaws might become sozzled with too much brandy!
The Injuns brought canoes full of maize, deer and fishes from Cape Cod Bay.
(Puritan ladies shyly tittered at the breechcloths worn by braves on that day!)
The Pilgrims had diligently tilled God's good earth to grow vittles for the feast,
And prowled forest and waterway on the hunt for fowl and four-footed beast!
Tables groaned with grub - the menu would've done the Waldorf-Astoria proud.
There was little talk 'cept for an occasional "pass the salt" from that ravenous crowd!
There were apple, peach and punkin pies and heaps of smoked and roasted turkey.
Also, fiery brandy, cider, barbequed beef, lima beans and piles of venison jerky!
Succotash, sweet pertaters, peas and turnips were heaped on pewter plates.
Gluttonous souls were heard to groan and appeared to be in desperate straits!
Missing was the dreaded green bean casserole that hadn't been concocted yet,
Since Campbell's mushroom soup, an essential ingredient, they could not get!
'Twas on that notable day that the strutting and hapless turkey made its debut!
(Oft I've mused - did the Palefaces and the Redskins play a football game too?)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
tittered, funny, holiday, thanksgiving,
Form:
Rhyme
I got the news today . It wasn't the worse or the best of news . I got the news today
There I sat my hands in place my mind whirling out into space . The doctor staring at the computer files. I shouted silently hey look over at me please just for awhile.
I got the news today.
The doctor cleared his throat and then in a metered tone of voice discussed my diagnosis and treatment choice.
At least we know what is going on. I interrupted my life , do I have long
He gazed up at the ceiling as if the sword of Damocles tittered over me
I can make this proclamation with proper medication you should live your life without reservations.
So I got the news today, better than I thought I must say.
I thanked my colleague for I being a doctor too and as I walked out past the nurses station. There was a moment of self realization that I must strive without hesitation to show more compassion with my patients who face similar situations.
I got my news today
Categories:
tittered, allegory, introspection,
Form:
Blank verse
I was at a party
Heard a girlish scream
But, the scene
was expected to me.
Fat, hairy dude
Starin' down a pretty lady
I tittered a tad an' said: Baby,
That's just my pal
Salacious Sal
He's an okay dude
to have around.
He ain't no looka
Don't got much charm,
How'd ya like him
on ya arm?
The girly said
F*ck no
an' turned
to go.
Salvy my man, you
shoulda known.
She was intimidated
by your big bones.
Or was it your etiquette?
Salacious Sal only said
“oh well, f*ck it.”
Categories:
tittered, friend,
Form:
Free verse
my Love mustered moxie
and disused me one night:
she left me victim
to a pitiful plight
while she raised the gall
to doll herself up
and go to a ball
on the arm of a date
while I languished alone
with a case of cold beer
that I drank to forget
the heartbreak she caused,
the pain and the doubt
of first being jilted—
those longnecks went “pop”
and quickly got swilled
while in dimness she danced
and merrily tittered
that regrettable night
of drinking those beers,
I drank them alone
all bitter and rueful
while she was out dancing,
holding tight to a tux,
one I hadn’t rented—
how drunk and forlorn
that Love of mine turned me
the night she found moxie
to leave me alone
and utterly lonely.
Categories:
tittered, girlfriend, lonely, love,
Form:
Free verse
Chip and Dale were favorite cartoons of my sister and me.
With so much ***** and happiness, joyful they could be.
They ran around in chipmunk form and chittered away.
Making our cartoon fest much better every single Saturday.
Chip and Dale played tricks on other cartoon friends.
Their antics were silly and funny; without any mean split ends.
We laughed, tittered and chortled over these two in a funny way.
They were the highlight of our cartoon day, it was each Saturday
Categories:
tittered, technology,
Form:
Rhyme
Morti Martha was from a bigger town
A glitzy town, a jazzy town, Las Vegas.
She had been a showgirl; is what I was told.
Not by her, but by many others.
She had visited our church once, and her clothes sparkled.
Rhinestones in church! Some of the staid members were askance.
I thought she looked ritzy and fine wearing sequined plastic baubles.
She wore an elaborate headpiece to her first PTA meeting.
“Is that gold leaf?” someone asked. A few tittered.
I thought Morti Martha looked gorgeous, so I sat by her.
“I love your headpiece,” I told her.
“They are the ones that started the rumors,” she said.
“I am buying in to please them.”
Categories:
tittered, women,
Form:
Free verse
Johnny MacAlister was six-years-old, young enough still for wishes,
Baby sister, Rosie, was all of three, all giggling and adorable kisses.
With fond, indulgent parents, the family was content in their home,
In a town, sleepy in sunlit day, where a scarlet cock used his comb.
Johnny played with Rosie every day. He loved to get her laughing;
As if a gaudy parade of jesters and clowns, chanced to be passing!
Forget-me-not days brought fast friends, in fruitful times of flowers,
Fuchsia and filled with fragrance, highlighting fun, burgundy hours.
Fair days bloomed where fall had faded, and fortune brought family;
Like festive fireworks of celebration, illuming sunset skies, uncannily.
Johnny lived in the house of joy, and tiny feet, ever pitter pattering;
And of playing, mauve dawn to dusk, like bluebirds, ever chattering.
Sapphire, dusk skies twinkled smartly, beyond their street of scents;
When scanty, pink sun fled, scorching, while night waited in suspense.
With naive, newborn day, came neighbors, for hot coffee and nougat,
In green, noisy days of nearby birdsong, and violet butterfly contact.
'Fairy magnolias' created such magic, and 'hummingbird' blooms knew;'
And hibiscus 'imperial dragon' roared, as eyelash plants, lovelier grew.
Cape primrose 'wow,' awed, while syngonium ‘milk confetti,’ glittered;
And begonia 'ring of fire,' was smoking, while purple martins tittered.
Johnny's birthday wish had come true, he saw when he unwrapped it;
And found a pair of blue, roller skates, like a rainbow, shining for a bit.
But, before he could finish eating, the dreaded rain had begun to pour;
And his childish impatience grew as, instead of less, it showered more!
Yet, Johnny made another wish, magically granted, as skies brightened;
When the rain slowed, midst sunshine, its silvery-gold drops, so vibrant!
Johnny had such fun that day, for all the days of childhood, allow magic;
And never forgot the day silver fell like coins, like an old, golden classic.
'Rain, rain go away,
Come again another day.
Rain, rain go away,
Little Johnny wants to play.'
Categories:
tittered, birthday, children, fantasy, fun,
Form:
Couplet
One thundering Thursday, in a thicket of trees I had thought I had thunk a real thought.
I was thinking deeply, when alas, creepily, a thought appeared, jeering at the tip of my tongue.
It said “At once you thought you’d thunk a thought, but alas, you’ll see, a thought has thunk you.”
“And now not the faintest idea, nor the ficklest of feeling should find your fopdoodle brain.”
I said to myself “how dare he! A thought should ever be thought, if ever a thought could be thunk, shall a man whom strained to purpose his processor be graced not but by a single thought?
Nay, he shant.
So, I destined to discover this thought that tittered at the tip of my tongue, though I realized forthwith, I haven’t the clumsiest clue as to how one might think a thought that ought not be thunk.
So, I sat and I thunk, and I thunk and I sat, hoping a thought would hitherto appear.
When alas, the truth! it came to me! To identify the idea, I first ought inspect it’s initial conception. Then out it would pop from mine own minds eye, and have it I would. And a thoughtless, schemeless, mindless oaf, ne’er again shalt I be.
So, I huffed and I puffed, snorted and wiffled, pondering at the peak of my strength. I reckoned, conceived, reminisced, and conflated. With all of my might I conflabulated.
But regrettably out came not but a poof of air. And this air did flow henceforth from my rump and I thunk amidst all this hard thinking, it’s clear that I stunk.
And off flew the thought, giggling and taunting, laughing, and flaunting until he was gone. Ne’er again did I think up the thought that escaped. And I wept in my stench of my stinking attempt of thinking a thought that ne’er be thunk.
Categories:
tittered, funny, humorous, inspiration, irony,
Form:
Free verse
Pulses repeated pulses
ripping to the core
I ache for so much more
Body spent content
but raging to be pushed hard
towards a wreckage lain lost
Thrust forth with tiny fingers
anchoring an aging frame
Enticing gasps of pleasure
tittered through the night
Pulses repeated pulses
take hold my weary might
squeeze past the apprehension
caress the sunburst light
Categories:
tittered, body, desire, love,
Form:
Free verse
Clyde stood 'neath the mistletoe coy and shy,
Itching for a kiss from gals passing by.
Behind their hands they tittered,
As by him they all skittered!
Seems the zipper was undone on his fly!
Entry for Carolyn Devonshire's "Christmas Limerick" Contest
Categories:
tittered, christmas, humorous,
Form:
Limerick