Best Tailgate Poems
Mighty Ducks win the game
Pass the ball perfect the play
There's so much riding on your fame
Men clad in armor win the day
The crowds are grumbling they've all gone wild
The stripes bad call has hardened your trial
Yard by yard your penalties mass
But you'll take the lead with a touchdown pass
86 yards with a kick return
Your rival now should show concern
We love your power your drive your speed
The beer the bets the company
Football Game day
Phones be texting
Tailgate fun scores projecting
Simple fun that's life affecting
It's more than manly testosterone
That compels us to the game
It's teamwork pride the thrill of the fight
How the underdog pushed and overcame
Sports and competition have always been a way of life
Revealing the mighty but also the contrite
Teaching lessons of brotherhood
More victory together than alone we ever could
So when we gather scream and shout
Seemingly insane over a meaningless thing
Remember this on Game Day proud
When from the rest of life we simply check out
Is it really so bad to drink too much
With Oregon's O displayed
Colored faces worshiping the Duck
When they fumble we yell O F_ _ _
Be it victory or cruel defeat
There's more to this than meets the eye
It's about families, lovers and the best of friends
Gathering to play to laugh and to cry
Game Day for the Oregon Duck
Of our team we're so damn proud
As a fan have you made the cut
Or resigned to just miss out
Categories:
tailgate, football,
Form:
Quatrain
I reckon you could call me an old curmudgeon but that's alright!
I've been around four score and three and I have earned that right!
There are many things that annoy me but I'll mention just a few.
Hang in there with me as I attempt to get across my point of view!
Barkin' mutts and their inconsiderate masters drive me up the wall!
The droopy-poopy pants kids wear just makes my wrinkled hide crawl!
Cussin' in public by so-called ladies and gentlemen is so uncouth!
It annoys me that high-profile jerks don't set an example for our youth!
It nettles me when someone says they'll do somethin' and then they don't.
I'm annoyed with people who keep me waitin' which is usually their wont!
Careless drivers bug me especially jerks who think it's cute to tailgate,
And telephone solicitors who the serenity of my castle they desecrate!
I'm disturbed about those who flout the Constitution - 'tis an abomination!
It bothers me that we don't ask God's guidance for this troubled nation!
Pompous bureaucrats annoy me no end with their paucity of breedin'!
It rankles me to pay more taxes for which the guv'mint is ever pleadin'!
I ain't got no patience with a screamin' brat or a loud-mouthed dude,
(Nor people who murder the English language as I just did - it's so crude!)
I could ramble on and on ad infinitum about things that annoy me,
But I feel my blood pressure risin' so I had better let the subject be!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Not for the contest.
Categories:
tailgate, how i feel, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
As the butterfly
Hovers near a peach blossom
Its shadow follows
Categories:
tailgate, happiness, inspirational, life, nature,
Form:
Haiku
out in the county and up the highway
anger hangs like lost voodoo over Miami
dances on bumperstickers
floats on airwaves
scars faces with perpetual glares
colors perceptions darkly
alters moods and
drives young men to football coaches
then army recruiters
anger that beats stepchildren
hunts coyotes for pleasure
and hangs corpses on barbed-wire fences
anger that asks
have you seen many Mexicans today?
just my wife and kids so far but it's still early
i hope to see more
he calls me a race traitor
he's to old to hit and i'm to old to hit him
so i suffer a fool
he tells his old wife only a *****would marry a Mexican
middle-aged men in Ford 350's
scatter brown children at bus stops and crosswalks
then pull guns to protect themselves
from the older brothers of the children they harass
and... hey why did you do that to my little sister?
can get you shot in "self defense"
it gets to me too as anger leads to fear
fear for my Mexican son and daughter
who have records but have committed no crime
but out in the county and up the highway
the police put up roadblocks
issue tickets without cause
and brag, every Mexican in town will have a record
they told my son "what's the big deal everybody gets pulled over
everyone has to pay their share"
even if they
come to a complete stop
obey speed limits
use their blinker
don't tailgate
tell it to the judge, my son and my daughter
the judge who gives out four month sentences
for a third non-offence
or you can pay the
take it off your record fee
we lost your paperwork fee
you live in the wrong neighborhood fee
you drive an old car fee
we don't care if you did it or not fee
then after you pay and pay
re-arrests because the clerk didn't enter the payment
leads to
lost jobs
missed classes
and retracted scholarships
my children are Mexicans
Categories:
tailgate, social, children, son, old,
Form:
Free verse
Written: August 28, 2023
______________________________________________________________
If you don't covet where you live, my friend,
Imagine a fitter home, a place to mend,
A sanctuary where dreams come alive,
A space where bliss and hope will thrive.
Picture walls that tell stories, so grand,
Of triumphs and adventures, hand in hand,
Each brick whispered tales of joy and pride,
Where memories of smiles will forever reside.
In life's vast garden, we all wander free.
Seeking souls whose presence brings us glee
If those you are with don't share your happiness,
Find raw companions—a tribe of blissfulness.
In the field of labor, where dreams collide,
Lies and truths are often hidden deep inside.
If your task doesn't bestow joy to your heart,
It's time to embark on an untarnished start.
Our time is short to be spent in despair.
Toiling away with no joy to share.
If your days are filled with boredom and dread,
It's time to tailgate your heart instead.
Even the shoes you wore last year
Need to be replaced, my dear.
As the seasons retreat and forego,
So too must your footwear flow.
Don't be embarrassed to experiment.
Wear modern shoes and embrace merriment.
Let your feet move to a different rhyme.
Discover a style that impels you to feel sublime.
Gone are the worn-out soles of the past.
Step into unknown and persuade your stride last.
With each step, you'll feel the ground anew.
Leaving behind what no longer serves you
Categories:
tailgate, analogy, appreciation, change, character,
Form:
Rhyme
A Wedding During Football Season
By Elton Camp
It has often wisely been said
Football season’s no time to wed
Let’s make one thing quite clear
It’s only four months of the year
So a wedding on the day of a game
Is so incredibly selfish and lame
Your wedding may be significant to you
But football games are important too
Those tickets are incredibly hard to get
So when nobody attends, don’t have a fit
Far down the list your wedding does rate
You need to get your priorities straight
Rather than put your friends on the spot
If you must wed then, use the parking lot
During halftime, the ceremony can be done
A tailgate reception is elegant and fun
Categories:
tailgate, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
License
Learn it
Earn it
Road signs
Traffic's
Graphics
Parking 101
Rehearse
Reverse
Text messages
Checking
Wrecking
Back Off!
Tailgate
Jail bait
Officer on duty
Patrol
Control
______________________________________________________
Contest for March of the Footles-- Sponsored by Timothy Hicks
3/3/16
Categories:
tailgate, car, people, teen, teenage,
Form:
Footle
Poet: Ken Jordan
Poem: Tailgate Party
Edited by: Sparkle Jordan
written: January/2015
It's my
tailgate party
you're welcome
to come -
Music's blasting,
and
We
Popp'in
Champagne,
around
a hot
Webber Grill
In the
parking lot -
Got my
game day apron
on,
Cook'n:
Oak wood Q'd
Baby Back
Ribs,
Slow grilled
and
smoked....
Brushed
in
Sweet Hickory
BBQ sauce -
and
laced with
a
half cup
of
Jim Beam
Whiskey -
Child
this party
is Popp'in
Got
a Deep Pot
of
Baked Beans;
Maple flavored,
with
Thick Center
Cut
beacon strips
(smoked),
over
Natural Flavored
Mesquite
Wood Chips.
Child
you better
get here,
cause It's on!
Got my
Old Fashioned
Homemade
Potato Salad,
(chilled
to taste),
with
thin sliced
Black Olives -
Sweet Yellow
Corn (on cob),
precooked in
milk/honey,
then grilled
and
brushed
with
lemon or lime
juice
in
butter,
sprinkled
with
parsley flakes.
Yum! Yum! Yum!
You ain't here
yet?
I'm making
Sourdough grilled
bread,
with
a soft melt
of
Castello Reserved
Havarti cheese -
Cucumber Infused
water
over
crushed ice,
with a hint
of
Mint Leaf
flavor -
And
if you dare
to
step outside
your
comfort zone,
I have some
Angry Orchard
Hard Apple
Cider
over ice
in
the cooler -
My tailgate
party
is
Popp'n !
It's Game Time
Bon Appetite !
Categories:
tailgate, food, football, happy,
Form:
Prose
I looked up the word 'boor' in my Funk n' Wagnalls to verify the truth.
I found that, "A 'boor' is one who's ill-bred, crude and somewhat uncouth!"
I find boors obnoxious and inconsiderate jerks when they flaunt their gall!
Their disgusting, rude and churlish behavior nearly drives me up the wall!
I detest loud-mouthed youths (and adults) who I suppose vie for attention.
Their total lack of respect for anything is beyond my comprehension!
Their public display of putrid language is offensive to others' ears.
Free speech is fine but public vulgarity could be reined in, it appears!
My eyes glaze over when gasbags bore me with trivial conversation,
And don't get to the point and babble on and on without cessation!
In a fine cafe why don't boors stifle cell phones and let people dine in peace!
Their chattering is akin to a pair of magpies or a skein of honking geese!
Teenage boors practically make love in malls that is offensive to many others.
Aren't kiddies today taught be a bit more discreet by their pops and mothers?
They tote their boom boxes with 'music' blaring throughout the 'hood.
I'd like to tell them where they can shove those things if I legally could!
I loathe smart aleck boors who tailgate and impair my driving vision.
Don't they know this lack of common sense is apt to cause a collision?
I reckon I'd better wind this down and not bore with further dissertation,
But no doubt by now with boorish boors you can sense my frustration!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 5 in Linda's "I'm Bored With_____" Contest - May 2011
Categories:
tailgate, funnyme,
Form:
Rhyme
He drops the tailgate on that old GMC truck
using it as a makeshift workbench
He tinkers with an old icemaker
determined to bring it back to it's former glory
He whistles an old country tune as he works with contentment
His screwdriver slips and the melody is broken
He cusses out loud as his knuckle begins to bleed
Frustration grows as he uses his shirttail to wipe the blood,
holding pressure on his hand with pure impatience,
his eyes fixed on the old appliance in pieces
The aroma of supper cooking
makes it's way outside through the raised windows of the old white house
He decides to give it up but only until tomorrow
His concentration is broken
and his mind is now on fried potatoes and onions
As he wipes his hands on an old shop rag he counts his blessings
They are abundant
Categories:
tailgate, blessing, culture, family, freedom,
Form:
Free verse
Another season has started and he's ready to go.
For the Bobwhite Quail is this hunters foe.
He's one beautiful dog,but he's not for show,
for not many of birds have out smarted old-Joe.
He's been lying in the yard now for months on end
just waiting and waiting for a hunt to begin.
I'll walk up to Joe and say "It's time to hunt Quail"
then I'll open my tailgate and let out a yell!
Old Joe goes from sleeping to straight on his feet,
for this is one bird dog no other can beat.
I'll just smile and rub on his back
for I've seen Joe point to many to sack.
Old Joe has a gift like no other dog.
He once pinned a whole cubby inside of a log.
He looks like a pirate chasing after his loot.
Sometimes he'll just catch them and I won't get to shoot.
People use to ask me wherever we went
where I had found Joe and how much had I spent.
I would just smile and say,"I don't really know"
for no one could have my secret to Joe.
See now days men just scream and they holler
at beaten down dogs all strapped with tight collars.
If's it's a bird dog you've got and are trying to reach,
first you show love then you go teach.
A dog has to love what he's doing inside
or else he won't hunt,he'll just run off and hide.
For Joe's the best bird dog there ever will be
'cause I have loved Joe and he has loved me.
Categories:
tailgate, friendship, happiness, dog, bird,
Form:
Rhyme
Let’s take a
Road trip
Together.
I want to go
Far away,
Maybe
Even to
Outer space
Where we can
Race the stars
Across
The night sky-
I’ll fly you
Around
On clouds,
Drift soft
On winds
Or burrow
Deep in the
Ground-
A landmark
Unto myself-
I’ll show you my
Favorite things
And
Kisses in the rain,
Point out the places
That I have been,
And which ones
I’d rather never
See again.
We’ll sing songs
Like lullabies
And drive
The days away-
The important part
Is that
I’m with you,
And my home
Is sitting in the seat
Next to me.
If we get pulled over,
Remind me
To get my head
Out of the clouds
And watch my hands
As they go near the seat,
I’m only getting a wallet
To show my ID
But we’re in a white man’s
Territory
And they already
Follow me,
Pull up beside
The 7-11 to watch
What I walk
Into,
Convenience stores
Are on alert
And sometimes
White people
See our license plate
And follow right behind,
Tailgate up
On my bumper
Till we leave
Their
State lines
And
A little ways past that too.
Just ignore
It,
I know you’ll say,
But I’ll make sure
We make it safe
To a nice hotel
Where we can stay.
I’ll get us a room on the
Third floor
So I only have to watch
The door
I won’t sleep and
You’ll take the bed-
And when you are well
Rested,
We’ll get in the car again.
Drive into sunsets
And great canyons
And see all the things
That make up the
Free land we’re in-
Living
With one eye
Scanning the
Horizon
To see if we need
To get on the road
Again,
I’m double checking
Every blind spot
For ghosts
With pale skin-
I guess
What I'm trying to say
Is that
Our freeways
Are an open range
And I’m just
Standing in the way….
You know what,
I don’t want
To go on a road trip,
Lets just stay inside
Where it is a bit
Safer.
Categories:
tailgate, adventure, fear, racism, spoken
Form:
Free verse
Tailgate party time
Chicken, steak, baby back ribs
Quarterback show down
Categories:
tailgate, food, friendship, hope, imagination,
Form:
Senryu
Out in the driveway
Sits my old pickup truck
Whose tailgates the first place
I learned about love
Its held on with cables
That are rusted and worn
While its seen better days
Its weathered the storm
That old rusty tailgate
Helped see me through
When I lost my first love
We shared in some brews
And I have to admit
It don't matter the make
The lessons I learned
On that rusty tailgate
Outside of my door
Sits an old front porch swing
Its splintered and tattered
And blows with the breeze
But the lessons I learned there
Passed generationally
From grandpappy to my dad
And then down to me
I sat in that porch swing
And learned about life
From those who had lived it
And never lost sight
Of what's most important
It still tugs my heart strings
The lessons I learned
In that old front porch swing
School never taught me
Much about life
And the good book still teaches
Me every night
So if your looking to learn
Be sure to lean
On an old beat up tailgate
Or squeaky porch swing
Tailgates and porch swings
Hold the lessons in life
Ones where I kissed my
Now second wife
I don't know about physics
And those sorts of things
But the best lessons in life
You'll learn on tailgates and porch swings
I learned from the masters
Who unconditionally
Taught me the lessons
Of Tailgates and porch swings
Categories:
tailgate, character, journey, life,
Form:
Lyric
With temps in the nineties for four solid weeks,
and nary a raindrop forever it seems;
our outlook is bleak and to this our mood speaks
of these late summer months and their endless extremes
as the visions of autumn are filling our dreams.
The ground is all cracked and the grass has turned brown
as the fires in the west still continue to burn;
this lengthy hot summer is getting us down.
It’s time for a change as we slowly discern;
for the moderate weather of autumn we yearn.
For family and friends a tailgate we’ll host
as Friday night football the hometown we cheer,
and cool nights by the campfire as marshmallows roast.
The colors of fall on the tree leaves appear
in yellows and ambers and crimsons so clear.
We long for the sight of the full harvest moon
as it rises on high in October night sky,
and patches of pumpkins like bright orange balloons.
We’ll welcome the autumn with hope and a sigh
as we bid our farewell to the summer – good bye.
September 6, 2018
Categories:
tailgate, autumn, longing,
Form:
Quintain (English)