Best Tacks Poems


Premium Member The Class Clown

He's the class clown, full of hijinks and pranks,
Puts tacks on your seat, swallows fish from the tank.
He's full of you-know-what and vinegar, energy galore,
Will he act goofy today? -- Does a hungry lion roar?...

...Back at home, he trudges slowly through the side door,
   A frown and fret on his heart, like a festering sore,
   His mind a dark cavern, not a thing to live for.  
   He takes off his mask, the transition's complete,
   'Cuz you can't be a clown when life's got you beat.

Premium Member I Get the Feeling

When you pack my luggage but won't pack my lunch
When you lock me out I get a hunch
When you put thumb tacks on the bathroom floor
I get the feeling you don't love me no more

I found hair remover in my can of Rogaine
The nail in my car seat caused me so much pain
When you microwave my favorite CD
I get the feeling you don't care for me

When you toss a salad but it's at my head
When you squeeze my neck until my face turns red
Then keep on squeezing until the red turns blue
I get the feeling that you think we're through

When you let the dog shred my brand new shoes
When you put a laxative in my jar of booze
When you say your nightmare began the day we met
I get the feeling that you are upset

When you cut off the arms on my overcoat
And try to put a rope around my throat
Then mix Ben Gay with my jock itch cream
I get the feeling you like to see me scream

When you lean an axe against the bedroom wall
And start putting needles in a voodoo doll
Then pull a knife and say come on let's play
I get the feeling I should go away

Anxious Dissolution

IV

A soul was broken to make room
For dusty halls and labyrinths.
A gossamer, nylon bed-sheet shroud
Enwraps the remnants of that mind.
And no excuses can be made; 
This disease does not justify that one.
I do not sleep deeply, I do not wake easily,
I dream of cities built on sand,
Next to the swelling sea.
Oh, they should have lasted.
Why should they fall?
I dream of timber horses,
Brought between those city walls.
We should have known; we should have known better.

III

But, I am not an honest mystic;
Beware what you ask of me.
I will show truths within the liar's tapestry.
But, you will not believe; no, you cannot believe.

II

I howled for my motherland
When the mutiny began.
I heard the cry of treason; heard the cry and ran.
I saw blood be spilled,
Some of it my own, then
Felt the rest boil, that this could happen in my home.
I saw the battle through, until the very end,
Then wished the traitors pardoned,
Because they were my friends.

I

I cannot tell the difference
Between the sleeping and the dead,
So, I will dole out blankets, and keep the kettle on.
The streets are cracked and dirty,
And they all appear the same:
Shattered glass and roofing tacks
Where I place my bare and weary feet.
I don't want to go on.
But, I must rebuild; I must rebuild.
I have no grass to lay,
The trees and flowers will not grow,
So, I shall use nothing, but mortar, brick, and stone.
It's not the same; it is not the same,
But, I shall call it home.


Premium Member Aisle Sea Ewe

Early in the mourning she rose
She wood fined her boat
Wear she rose across the see two the sure
Their she mustard all her mite
And toad the boat on the beech
Butt if the thyme was write she tide it two a boy
She could hardly weight 
Four she nose she will sea her suite sun
They wood sit on a bolder, brake sum bred 
Then they eight a hole pair
Her sun called her a deer
He tolled her when he urns enough doe
Ore got sum tacks witch was dew
He wood by her a flour at the bizarre
Witch could be tide in her hare
The cent of the rows wood bee sew sheikh
One knight he said she wood prophet
If she past buy a different root 
He new the currant could get ruff
The whether was no longer fare and getting two chilli
She road away into the missed
Aisle meat ewe next weak he balled until he was horse
He trussed he wood see her next weak 

Only Homo’s ‘Aloud’ – Jerry T Curtis
23rd March 2015
~awarded 1st place

Ranting From a Chair

I am but a slave among lives hidden features
Who cares what I crave midst these two-legged creatures
I crave superb polish and fine furniture wax
Extremely strong wood glue and upholstery tacks
To be moved more toward the shade and less in the sun
To have a tung oil bath, ah, now that would be fun
I crave to be gently rocked and read to again
Like when grandpa was alive and Jimmy was ten 
But most of all to stay in my room at the keep
And be warmed by the fire until I fall asleep

Premium Member The Man Who Dreamed His Life Away

THE MAN WHO DREAMED HIS LIFE AWAY

When I was young the Moon was lifted    
Hung with tacks and thread 
On a mystical ceiling of dreams

She in her skyward place    I in my bed
We lay so tightly wed    we two sure lovers
That all my years flew round    passed us by
While from out our eyes some angels gathered dust

At length    proud man at work by day    by night
His busy light in flood on tissue walls   
Tried describe to she and me a smoking glory in steel

And a prophet raved – “Hear!    Heed!
Faith is the one checkered King
On this fantasian board a playing.”

But I    like my Moon    bearing such pale light
Long dead    a mere reflection of life
Was old and could not rise


The Button

*spot poetry written in 15 minutes or less about any random subject


There lay a button,
'neath the weather beaten tile,
Lay in it's dust, shadowed crust,
it had been there quite a while.
Hopeless trust amongst the feet
that scattered it abroad,
It dodged and hid itself for keeps,
in hopes 'twould not be trod.
It kept itself a distant force,
this button in the tile,
I picked it up to change its pace
and placed it in the pile,
Of buttons in my sheltered home;
'twould be so happy there
But who was I to criticize, 
or place it anywhere?
Perhaps it was quite happy,
in its home away from tacks,
So I turned around,
and put it down,
It was happy to be back.

Moral: Don't assume that changing ones'
surroundings are always what THEY desire.
© Gayle Rodd  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member a few chuckle perhaps

Talked to a fisherman
He said he hadn’t had a bite in days…so I bit him


Hickory dickory dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one…
If he clears concussion protocol he’ll start tomorrow


Mary had a little lamb
                                 …and mashed potatoes too.


One potato, two potato, three potato, four
That’s all I could afford so I walked out of the store

Walked into a church.  There sat a tethered parrot on a perch.
With a wily rasp he asked if I could “un-tithe” him


Purchased a pack of condoms
The sales clerk said: “that’ll be $6.95 plus tax”
I replied: “forget the tacks, I’ll tie them on”

Premium Member He-Monster Professes His Love

Beautiful is your foot with the stabbing nails.
The yellow and green ones that have never been cut.
Gorgeous is your gaping mouth with the missing teeth.
And your big and hairy smelly monster butt.

My lady, my love, my dragon queen troll.
You can never be too fat or chunky or slimy.
My one and only, professional flatulent princess,
Your smell calls me to you, and your hair, it’s blimey!

Beautiful are your clogged-up ears full of wax,
Beautiful is your nose, full of snot pure and yellow.
Beautiful is my lady, whose toenails claw like tacks.
I am your he-monster, a lively, happy fellow!

Dude, Where's My Automobile

Not advertising that flippant flick. I just want to know
where my blooming flivver is. It ruffles my feathers no
end to find out, when exiting the embassy,
that my buggy's whereabouts are a mystery.

I must meet Sherry 'cause her right toe
wants a sweet kiss. Did the camel tow
my car? That blasted mammal! Sherry's dear
foot can't wait! Please do not tell me the deer

took my buggy! That son of a Witch
would fine
me with a very pricey mulct which
isn't fine!

Not another loathsome tax
to put up with! Oh no, Lord, please!
I beg thou hearken to my pleas!
Now, let's come down to tin tacks.

I need my bloody car! A choice bass
cooked by Sherry awaits me. The crass
specimen who's got my car is so base,
and I'm so cross! The camel has a bass

voice that creeps me out! I do not want to
deal with him. I cannot even stomach two 
secs the sight of the deer. He's ugly too.

II.

On returning to his flat, mad as a goat,
Ivo found on the door, the following note:

Dear Ivo,

I hereby inform you that your awfully and
illegally parked streetcar has been impounded.
Come pick it up at the City Hall and 
bring cash with you for there's a fine. 8 hundred
clams.

	Much love,
	The Crane from Ukraine.

Blimey! That heartless crane! I won't give her a buck!
Now I know the ruffians weren't the camel and the buck.
Well, let's be fair, it wouldn't be cricket to pass the buck.
I didn't park properly. It's my fault. That's it. I will not buck
at the fine.
III.
                  I got my car back for free. How? l told the crane;
"I'm in a hurry to meet Sherry who needs me to canoodle
her feet. I'll have tonight for dinner a bass fish with noodles."
"If a foot massage like the ones I used to get in Ukraine.
you give me, I will be happy to call off the mulct." said she.
I pleased her feet very much. She loved it. Then we got some tea.


IV.

I'm on my way home to eat some bass,
with my beloved and awesome lass.
It's so nice to be able to dine
without having paid that gruesome fine.
© Ivor Kos  Create an image from this poem.

Granny's Legacy

Her home was my escape
It was an awesome retreat
Full of wonders and surprises
Green glass and old lace
Cut glass and fireplace
A real ticking clock
Fresh laid eggs 
Queen Anne legs
And a cracket by the fire
The dresser, complete 
With comb, brush and mirror
Tablecloths and silver
A teapot swathed in wool
The folded newspaper
Anchored by a Parker Pen
Reveals a half-completed crossword
Sugar cubes and butter dish
Flank the silver toastrack
But she is gone.
Her essence removed 
Like a dying candle, snuffed.
Yes, there is value here
There are pieces which I could keep
To remind me of her. 
And yet, as the vultures scramble 
for the costliest heirlooms
My heart leads me to the pantry
Row upon row of jars, large and small
Neatly stacked on narrow shelves
Each with a handwritten label
I scan the rows from left to right
But nothing seems of any worth
There are jams and preserves
Marmalades and Pickles
buttons of every size and shape
Ribbons and bows, tacks and collar studs
A myriad of things long removed
from our history and understanding
but my eyes eventually fall on a dusty jar
in the darkest corner, almost hidden from view
and I know I’ve found my treasure
let them have the Wedgwood and the Ivory
they can fight over the antiques
In my trembling hand is held a jar 
Which speaks more of Gran than anything else
Gently, I brush my thumb across the dusty label
And tears are born as I read the words:
“Bits of string ( too short to use )”

Rat Trap Rap, Part 2 of 2

There, parked in rows
like overused commas
or German prose
or mothballed bombers

lay ranks of rats
as if on drill,
but quite as dead
as vaudeville.

Someone had slit
each ventral hide
and pulled it back
to peek inside.

And there they lay,
flat on their backs,
guts on display,
paws pinned by tacks.

Ashamed, they were,
like party-crashers,
with gaping fur,
like little flashers.

Those organs, packed
so coral-fine,
would soon be hacked
by Class B-9.

Unseeing eyes 
stared at the ceiling,
but woke in me
a fellow-feeling.

We’re all the same.
We want to live.
Why dish out blame?
Why bring a sieve,

sort sheep from goats,
grandly decide 
who lives and dies?
To my distress,
those little guys
with upturned throats
and parted coats
were nothing less
than crucified.

Pimp In a Fur Suit

on behalf of the little guy
deep behind enemy territory
welcome to the nameless republic
all good capitalists want a monopoly
all good physicians need you sick
the National Antidote Party broke down the door
I told them everything I know
so they let me off the meat hook
loosened my bindings and necktie
hammered nails in my head instead
powerful radio transmitter nails
don't get too close I'll bend your spoon
gimme a shot of Moonbeam barkeep
and a round for my ill-bandaged crew
we'll drink to the muse Pandemonia
don't get too close she’ll bend yer crank
with another specious spectacle
not necessarily Beauty's anointed
but a piston riding party girl nonetheless
I let you touch happy place
and now my theory on the blinding of Oedipus 
which first off requires a family unit
for the inherent predispositions of childbirth
they made me walk upon magic carpet tacks
so me and my echo are here a little late 
and a little paraplegic and screaming headaches
this is after all a holy epic of pilgrimage
from the sands of Delirium to the banks of Delusia
a simultaneous ambiance one for each eye
an ancient art form somewhat updated
coordinating the cascades of impulses
yet still black as the inside of a cow I mean crow
this epic deals with a touchy subject
intercession of the gods
grab your hat mister
we're going for a little joy ride
where anything including countries
can be bought sold and stolen
by the mutilators of comparison
hardwired and proud of it the fools
built for Survival the TV show
but times change and
survival meant finding parking
where one can escalate from emaciation 
to farting obesity overnight
unrecognized even when brightly illuminated
we know only one thing for certain
that the Universe is knowable



From "Engine of Didactic Beauty" available on Amazon
Artist Portfolio: http://walteralter.byethost32.com/

Premium Member Gathering Dust On My Bookshelves

Gathering dust on my bookshelf,
Old textbooks from my past major,
Reveal something about myself
(Never read again, I’d wager).

Attached in place by hidden tacks,
Gathering dust on my bookshelf,
Paper mache’ Mardi Gras masks
(I never really wore myself).

Gardening books share the top shelf
With outdated references;
Gathering dust on my bookshelf,
Indicating preferences.

Genealogy, mysteries,
Fantasy tales of dwarf and elf,
And science fiction histories--
Gathering dust on my bookshelf.

Not To Worry My Dear-

No more money, no more quarters.
Only nickels, dimes and pennies
Left at the bottom of our jar.
But not to worry my dear…
Tomorrow is another day.

No more fresh bread, no more butter.
Only millet, crumbs and scraps
Left at the bottom of our cupboard.
But not to worry my dear…
Tomorrow is another day.

No more books, no more tables.
Only wall tacks, dust and the floor
Left at the bottom of our property list.
But not to worry my dear…
Tomorrow is another day.

No more free time, no more pleasure.
Only worry, woe and concern
Left at the bottom of our hearts.
But not to worry my dear…
Tomorrow is another day.

Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter