Best Snobbish Poems
I reached out for you once again
after eons of pretence, snobbish disregard
and plain neglect.
Yes I reached out, not with strong steady arms
that usually attend others
but with emasculated courage and battered pride.
Yes indeed I sought you.
I summoned you dear one
from the far far seas where to sail I had cast you
and had briskly walked away
to find solace in another's arms.
So now I sought a vantage point
from whence I could peer
into the darkening horizon
to see your approaching mast.
Yes I did indeed summon you, indeed I did.
Yes I called out for you
to attend me from the depths I had banished you
when life to me had smiled like the morning dew.
Yes indeed I called you,
to serve me in rhythm and imagery
to fill my plate with tone and hue
and soothe me with your rhyms in rhythm.
Yes call you I did, I really did.
So now I lie in the warmth of your words
like a lover cuddled in embrace
as you stroke my erstwhile desolate state
with the stroke of your flowing stanza's
and my heart you've now lulled to a soothing calm
with the rhythm of your crafted lines.
Yes indeed I reached out for you,
for I missed you.
WILD NATURE
Far from squabble of snobbish sniffy people
I wish to visit a wild country
where loud amusement has no entry to disturb
simple innocent naive populace.
Bathed in soft Sun rays at delightful dawn
gazing at close by pinewood
I would like to lie supine not on smooth lawn but on feral grasses
on non-mowed meadow,
where light and shadow play hide and seek game.
I will enjoy crazy cattle grazing chewing coarse grasses and foliage,
or camels thriving on thorny bushes making barren field fertile.
I will walk on furrows of field of crops
Kaleidoscope of butterflies on flash and flutter of colorful wings
***** unfamiliar bird whistles to startle or croons in cadence.
My pleasure to pass through pathless wood
My rapture to feel fragrance of wild blossoms
I would like to venture verdure of verdant valley.
and watch wild insects allured to juices of agrestal plants.
I will feel offer of Nature as bliss in every limb
in the wild country.
I wish to escape compulsive constriction of city life
I will sleep sound in quietude on serenity of sublime solitude.
04/10/ 20
Fourth Place
'Wild' Poetry Contest by Anthony Slausin
First Place
-A Brian Strand 1092
Contest by Brian Strand
Black/white
Which is might?
What’s to fight?
No color less
or more right!
Politics!~ clans of self-serving,
manipulative Pricks --
Lunatics!~ our woke
Generation – point it out
to me…Please!~
show me the missed
good, in ego-bloated, soulless,
delusional
Hollywood!
The Democrat party
exposed, snobbish -- upturned
nose -- sipping from Satan’s
rancid cup -- lurid piss,
moral-less drink --
ignoring the wallow of their
own~ Sulphuryl, ruthless stink.
My cat is picky; my cat is persnickety.
My cat likes to play with mice; my cat's best friend is a snake.
My cat is aloof; my cat is stuck up.
My cat ignores me; my cat writes me hate notes.
My cat is snotty; my cat is snobbish.
My cat is my best friend; my cat is my only friend.
My cat has papers; my cat is a purebred.
My cat scares the neighbors, my cat scares me.
My cat is jealous; my cat is envious.
My cat watches TV; my cat critiques Michael Moore’s documentaries.
My cat is running for office; my cat is trumping him by a twenty-eight percent margin.
Why do kitty-mamas like to Cat-Up-Each-Other?
(Just between us, I would not want either of these cats).
When in swanky restaurants, 'tis easy to daintily dine on cordon bleu,
But dining on lobster requires deft finesse without humiliating you!
For what its worth, I offer the following that I've learned o'er the years,
To show snobbish waiters you're really not all that wet behind the ears!
First of all, a wizened waiter will provide a bib if he's really on the job.
(Somehow, they perceive right away that you are a rather artless slob!)
When cracking open each morsel, some violent squirting may occur!
Should juice spritz the guy at the next table simply say, "Sorry sir"!
The hapless lobster is dissected in certain order to make the meal complete.
First, remove the claws, crack the shell with a claw cracker and remove the meat.
For this a fork is provided, then discard the shells in a bowl being discreet!
Next, twist the tail from the body and break off the flippers - those you musn't eat!
And now for the piece de resistance, that long anticipated holy grail,
(That you paid fifty-five bucks for!) - that scrumptious lobster's tail!
Insert a lobster fork into the flesh and gently ease it out of the shell.
(Sucking meat from the legs is optional - on that matter I will not dwell!)
A female lobster might contain a bit of roe considered a delicacy by some.
(If that is your fancy, quietly asking about the lobster's sex is the rule of thumb!)
Plunge lobster pieces in butter taking care not to let it run down your arm!
(Leaving a sizeable tip for the disaster you've created wouldn't do any harm!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Cockney flower girl
snobbish phonetics tutor
opposites attract
I ONLY SPEAK SECOND-RATE SPANISH
I didn’t say it then, but I can say it now -
I can say many things in many languages, and how!
English, Russian, French and the lovely Spanish tongue.
First one I started with, when I was young,
Was Spanish - learned in The States and
Obviously Mexican Spanish, perfectly at hand
For communicating with half a billion who likewise speak,
If in Latin America and over world you seek.
I chanced to meet a long-lost acquaintance,
A snobbish woman of little real substance,
Who spoke Spanish and we practised our learned word.
Oh, she says, you speak only Mexican Spanish. She demurred
- Not real Spanish………
Actually what she thaid wath, “You thpeak Mekthican Thpanish”
Real Thpanish ith called Cathtellano……
You would not be underthtood in Thpain, oh no!”
I obviously disappointed her with my inferior ability
She certainly disappointed me with her snobbery.
Now I can say that speaking Spanish is a pleasure
But thpeaking Thpanish is a torture.
The people of Thpain will have to be denied my voice
But the billion others may hear its song and joys.
A statesman oak, in fall he spoke
to brethren of the wood.
Windblown vowels and fluttering jowls
deciduous he stood.
Calm and serene he argued green
for change, said change is good.
The Sugar Pine stepped out of line
and said he never would.
The Sumac said, "I'll show you red!"
and red indeed he showed,
The Maple leered and, snobbish, sneered
"And I will show you gold!"
Mulberry trees, devoid of leaves,
held transient feathered fruit.
But winter breeze chased birds and leaves;
it stripped them crown to root.
"Oak," said Pine, "you should resign,
you've left your fellows bare!
I can assure no conifer
would oh, so badly err."
"Pine," said Oak, "I won't be broke
My way is more than fair.
Needles catch snow, and green will grow
when spring is in the air."
Your true dearest point when you harbored Dear dreams
And then you discover life’s not what it seems
Like abandoning hopes at an age Fresh and Young
Did you have an idea that it’ll last so long
For you left your dear home at only 18
And sent to Iraq at only 19
And been left forever with permanent scars
Even though you shone through with your sweet talent bright
So why did you enter with a 4.0 GPA?
When the Scholarships showered you at a Multitudinous rate
So Bright you could Major in any Subject you wished
And still Financial Aid Mounds till your Graduate Degree
So what did you think of that Beautiful Voice?
If you entered in Youth at least College Choir was a choice
Now Stubborn Hard winds stole most of the Treasure
And the New,Mature Life Obliterated your Thoughts of Such Pleausure
So what did you think of the Vagabound Life?
While you prized poetry collection on the shelf gathered dust
One which some though very mature, others overly ideal
Therefore what crossed Your Mind when you Witnessed the Real?
Did the snobbish streak strike you in diverse circumstance?
Did you feel they were commoners and you better than best?
With the dear loving members holding Fancy Degrees
And did you look forward to the end of ordeal?
And while at boot camp did you attempt to contain
Your own disillusionment and a deep poignant stain
At that tender age did you still fight your tears?
All the while duty called you to conquer much greater fears
All this Strain and Attack plagued you with horrible Nightmares
Not to Mention it gave you the disorder of stress
Yet the terrors continued for seven long years
For you definitely felt life to you wasn’t fair
Even though you gave Your all for hard won GI Bill
Did ever hold thoughts that this path’d be so Grim?
Though the dear teaching program greeted you with open arms
P’haps you had to abandon it due to Inner Snob
And continue life of horrors begun
All this adversity gave you the outlook glum
And your Engulfing eyes look Perpetually lost
The once Muscular Frame to a—Bare shadow gone
Cheer and root is DONALD JUHG.
Act a way in open also other evil schemes in secret.
Overt does or convert acts are china tyrants ’contacts.
Hong Kong china commie teacher pets might beg for china tyrants blesses.
HONG–KONG-Donald Jung knows a group of HONG KONG dirty noble mutually. What are fringe benefits then? Come and gather together must be some really service for Donald JUNG. Take a seat for private air plane. Take a cruise to cruise with the private one those cruises belong to Hong Kong nabobs.
Feign to acts in ways but make the real confer and moves in other. Does JUNG YIN KUNG HONG Kong ex-C.E.O Donald JUNG pay the traffic fares?
Donald JUNG did kick his followers upstairs.
Ways beside this there are nepotism earn their life as hireling men. Those are yes are kowtow men. They are franking stamps. They are cliques for governing however all are yes and snobbish men. Their worse in self is evil wills
So inferior complex does for their making evil minds as their evil natures take always.
Greedy Donald JUNG cheer and root for china commie tyrants. Once Donald Jung is HONG KOJNG chief executive officer just might always look for fringe benefit among those Hong Kong nabobs just to make him wealthy.
Donald JUNG repulsive behaviors all will twist our facts.
Oracle saints may need those men to clean our donkey back.
So please me and I keep my voices quiet.
China IX JANGPING also HONG KONG leader teams should they know as how to clean my donkey back.
Ranks of moneys really smell but I will take the favor also remain clean. I love money mints. Give me most then I might keep quiet. Are there hush moneys?
Donald JUNG onto ways to come and match or map to evil domain just as cunning china is purer commie henchman.
China ways are worse of lethal hells that hide or hire. Hireling men will have political powers so are snobbish.
Hireling men will earn and keep their better life in some.
-------------Cheung Shun Sang=Cauchy3-------------------------
These things offend,
know I, tis true.
In these I've been schooled,
now I tell them to you.
An innocent touch, a wayward look,
a word or threat aimed anothers way.
Is today considered harassment,
and that party has final say.
Were not to needle, mock, or jab,
to razz, or quip, gibe,or jeer.
To scorn, roast or ridicule,
and whatever you do don't leer.
It's best that we not banter words,
deride,intimidate, or taunt.
Should you be one inclined to joke,
these too, you must not flaunt.
We must not rile another,
even though it be in jest.
Sneering too, is not allowed,
so put those thoughts to rest.
Anothers traits never mock,
nor offend with apparel you doff.
Find not within, reason to knock,
while daring not to scoff.
Belittling another isn't right
not take occasion to tease.
But other than these few things
treat others as you please.
In meeting, should I not extend a hand,
and appear to have little to say,
It won't be because I'm snobbish,
but fear a Tort Lawyer coming my way.
Real Estate Jargon Explained
By Elton Camp
When a house is for sale there’s good reason why
Trouble can come to anyone who advertises a lie
If the sellers certain expressions carefully choose
It will become easy the careless buyer to confuse
“This house is simply loaded with charm.”
Means we hope old and ugly won’t alarm
If you see it’s a “Pet friendly neighborhood,”
Dog manure in your yard should be understood
The praising note, “Easy access to the freeway”
Means thousands will pass your house each day
Beware the notation of “Low maintenance lot.”
Since neither front nor back yards have you got
“Historic house maintained in its original state”
It is a run-down old relic that you soon will hate
“It’s a doll house that you are going to adore.”
The house’s tiny rooms you’ll come to deplore
“The dwelling is located on a fine corner lot”
Then traffic both front and sides you have got
If the place is described as “Ready to move in,”
Then painted with the cheapest grade it has been
“A desirable neighborhood” means that its location
Has made it overpriced due to a snobbish reputation
If of “In-city living” the seller proudly does tell
Not safe to walk after dark it should say as well
If it is a “Handy-man special,” then better look out
The old place is ready to collapse without any doubt
If the advertisement should say, “Lots storage space,”
The basement is nothing but a dark, moldy disgrace
If the selling point is of “Seasonal water view,”
It means water was visible before the trees grew
If the seller says that “All your lot is usable land,”
You can know that not a single tree still does stand
If “Close to shopping” the advertisement does call
It means your backyard is adjacent to the big mall
When the imperative is that you must “See inside,”
It has a horrid exterior that is impossible to hide
If it is happily described as “Cozy, it should be read
That no room is big enough to contain a full-size bed
This is how “Make an offer” you actually should take:
It’s been long on the market so don’t make a mistake
The inviting phrase is “Watch wildlife from your patio”
You can expect to get ticks and fleas if outside you go
So if your house purchase in a year you will praise,
Watch carefully for the real meaning of each phrase
there was a dog who craved fish
if served upon a posh dish
dining out it sat
by a cultured cat
whose manners were oh snobbish.
(From the other side of the track)
Grammar the regal tool of pure English
Alas used as a wedge to classify,
A divided country a trait snobbish
To ridicule lampoon then pacify.
This class structure based on one’s conveyance
The transfer of language the written word,
A populace afraid of decadence
Chances of education seldom heard.
Behold the reign of slang chaste dialect
Devolved from our Viking forefathers,
Just a distant phase of one’s recollect
As those characters our grandfathers.
Tradition broken down with one issue
Purity of a language to pursue.
© Harry J Horsman 2012
So many gents-in-waiting of very fine physique
For a lady to choose from, a princess, fair and chic,
But with each she displayed a cool air, nonchalant,
As none were unique enough for her highness to want.
She had about her a finesse to taunt and stir desire,
That kept each gent enticed, just hoping to acquire
At least one chance with her, a romantic rendezvous
Of ecstasy reaching beyond their imaginative purview.
One day a truly handsome gent rode in on his fiery steed.
Instantly there burned within her, a deep, intense need.
Capturing the lady's heart with his ever charming style,
He would acquiesce to her wishes, each feminine wile.
Blinded by her own snobbish, self perceived charm,
She fell into a precarious state that would disarm
Her instincts to, her sassy heart, keep protected,
And Karma would repay to her in a way unexpected.
After she'd fallen so deeply in love with the gent,
Was she to learn what breaking other hearts meant.
For on the day before they were to be forever wed,
On his fiery, galloping steed, away from her, he fled.
All those she turned away, their true loves they had found
And the sorrow she bore became a mournful, haunting sound.
Searching for her lost love, gallivanting hill and vale,
She died of a broken heart and so, ends this tale.
2018-05-03
Entered in 'New Poems (8 difficult words) - Poetry Contest'
Sponsored by Emile Pinet
Words to be included: ecstasy, rendezvous, unique, finesse, precarious,
gallivanting, nonchalant, acquiesce