Best Smoot Poems


Premium Member The Wattle

A Wattle, nearly 80 Smoots high.
decided one fine spring day
that some way it was going to fly.
“It was going to fly ?”, said I
“No way, Jose, not today.”

The Wattle, not discouraged
actually looked somewhat smug.
It had me puzzled and worried.
What did he have buried,
a magic genie’s flying rug?

He pulled out his magic deck
of Pumperdinkle flavored tarot cards.
Things were definitely going shrek.
Motioning to me, what the heck.
He wanted the whole nine yards!

On the table the tarot spoke
words of wisdom in hollow tone.
Grey matter rose like wisps of smoke.
The Wattle listened with great hope.
The tarot faded, and then was gone. 

The Wattle spoke and soon was done.
His voice was weak, demeanor dire.
"Quarks and hadrons, I command none."
But setting himself on fire he won.
As his smoke rose high and ever higher.

            ----------------------------
Wattle: Australasian tree yielding long slender poles.
Smoot:  The smoot is a nonstandard unit of length created as part
              of an MIT fraternity prank.
Pumperdinkle: A crazy word which I thought up.
Shrek: A crazy word which someone else thought up.
Quark: A basic particle of matter.
Hadron: Quarks combine to form hadrons.  

© Jul 1 2010 For Tirzah's "Fantasy" contest

Premium Member The Man and the Peanut- -

**THE MAN AND THE PEANUT**

Who was George Washington Carver?, black educator and scientist;
and maybe even some crimes he tried to abolish;
Then he devoted special attention to agriculture development;
From the sweet potatoes;
He developed things like dyes,
 from clay,
to dandelions,
 to tomatoes;
Making paints from cattle manure;
Making that he was more sure-of;
The Peanut he saved;
His artwork in the many painted pictures he had made;

~

**The Man and The Peanut**

Who was George Washington Carver that black man and the peanut;
He who helped bring the world's agriculture development together but...
What of the Hawley Smoot tariff bills;
Dr. Carver appeared and the farmers said go to the hills;
Went but more he came to change the farmers will;
Went on to till it carried the tariff bill, even still;
Dr. Carver was "THE MAN AND THE PEANUT"
His many all night experiments put him in a bit of a rut;
He was made Collaborator in the BUREAU OF PLANT INDUSTRY,  not then belonging to human ecology;
He was put in front of the broad of disease and mycology;

~

Yes!, Dr Carver was "THE MAN AND THE PEANUT"
OH, and he was sometimes called the original peanut man;
But thought they tried to put him down, he always did what he could and;
Those COMMENCEMENT EXERCISES IN TUSKEGEE ran... a rush;
The peoples of the town made there number one man a bronze bust;
Yes!! This original Mr. Planters Son;
Near the end was a member of the Royal Society of Arts in London;
(Bet you didn't know) Now that GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER never was sworn, to live a life of defilement;
But sometime the world wonders where the famous  man and the peanut:

                              



                  by _)@mes /__ee
                                                10/12/70

                  Written words by James Edward Lee©1970, 2019
Written @ North High School 1970 for Class assignment

Dusty Love

Kaptain Kundalini

Those unloved, and void of lust
Stagnantly covered in the dust
Waiting to be wiped with thrust
Smoot veils, they’re on the cusp
Of being just one more swept away, unnoticed

Like ancient texts forgotten too
Gone unseen, closed eyes rue
Held in limbo till he says the que
Halted, cold tangled up in the blue
Til’ you stumble upon the dormant love, inside it

Don’t fear what’s been left alone
The empty fields, no one roams
Better than the infested clones
Fruitful minds, now full of bones
Of those who skipped the dusted roads, to fit in

While those that scoff at others
Hide slick lies under the covers
Yet they call eachother brothers
Are trained to bark, hate hovers
Under a clever guise of misguided love, they created

So if you see a book rife with smut
Years of despair in a constant rut
Beguiled of the dustiness in glut
Though beauty lies inside it’s guts
Withhold judgement till you brush the dirt, from your notions

The pages glow, dust now gone
Has been there waiting all along
Yet took the ever slightest prong
Each word bellows a saintly song
That wakes the sleeping eyes to see, the beauty.


Premium Member Sir Jonathan Smoot

Here lies Sir Jonathan Smoot
Unfortunately wearing only one boot,
He tangled with an alligator
And failed to say, “I’ll see you later!”

written January 15, 2022

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