Best Shave Poems

I learnt a lesson well today on how good hygiene works,
and how sometimes it doesn’t pay, to gain professional perks.
It was Mick the barber’s little lurk that put up this dreadful case …
I’ll never trust another soul when shaving whiskers off me face.

The local footy...

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Those BURMA SHAVE signs used to give us kids something to do,
As down the highways and byways in our 1935 Dodge we flew!
The chef-d'oeuvre from the quills of very creative poets flowed,
Nailed to fence posts for our cultural enlightenment along the road!

Take note of this...

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Alas, never seen along highways and byways anymore,
Was some very classic poetry that has become American lore!
'Tis sad that these masterpieces have vanished from the scene.
So I want to add some Burma Shave verse from my old bean!

"Plain old soap won't do the job
What you...

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Close and clean but I gots to go                                     ...

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Homeless man shaved
By cop saved...

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The lawn awaits the mower’s blade
The blade of dullest steel is made
The smoke of petrol fumes abound
As the mower is pushed around
The grass beard trimmed of morning shade...

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From his sweetie Dave took lots of guff
  'Cause his beard was mighty ruff
Too bad you get fewer kisses, Dave
  Try Burma Shave - its all the rave!

Do you sprout a very wild stubble?
  Have you heard of the latest rave?
You'd save...

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There he stood before the bathroom mirror, shaving cream all over his face.
A quick shave before beginning once again, the new day's routine rat race.
I stood there beside him in awe as a young child.
"When will I be old enough to shave Dad?" He answered,...

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(This is a fictional poem)

I'm tired of having to beg.
Please shave your damn legs!
It's been so long since you've shaved your legs, I can't keep track.
It's like making love to a lumberjack.
It's embarrassing when we go out in public because you always wear a dress.
If...

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The painted signs could be found anywhere.
They were part of the scenery on a thoroughfare.
Much smaller than billboards were these little signs.
A number of them would form roadside lines.
They carried novel little examples of poetry.
One could not help but smile once they could see.
There were...

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Ol’ Pete he had a new gal friend that he wanted to prank—
His idear was to shoot her silhouette like Buckskin Frank!

It was Frank Leslie that first shot holes all around his girl—
So Pete thought he’d do it too or at least give it a...

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Should a Sheik seek a shave
Who'd shave a Sheik,
Sheik shavers should surely
So Sheik shavers Sheiks seek.






Entry for
Twist my Tongue Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Nina Parmenter
17/1/2020. Placed 3rd....

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Half a red beard lays on the floor                                     ...

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“That was a close one,” he said to me as I walked into his room.
I looked around for whatever he might have thought was a close one.
“What dad? What was a close one?”
Nothing, no response. 
“How was your day today?”
Blink, blink, blink.
“What did you eat...

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I know I shaved the hair off this week
The razor was a solid brand
I felt my legs afterwards,
They were smooth as baby
Yet today I saw
My legs are dark
Curly hair
Grew all
Back

So maybe it was a week or two
Could possibly might have been
I shaved them hard on...

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