Best Serviced Poems
When everything seems peaceful
and all is going well
you'll find out that Murphy's rules
will grab you like a spell
When you build your money up
a bundle in the bank
and trouble strikes at every turn
then you'll know who to thank
The car you just had serviced
is spewing smoke and oil
the fridge just out of warranty
now watch that good food spoil
Just when you least expect it
Old Murphy will appear
He's cruel enough to make you spill
your last mouthful of beer
At every turn he's waiting
until you think you're safe
the shoes that fit well yesterday
today will make you chafe
Your wallet's in your pocket
at least that's what you think
until its time to pay the bill
then feel your light heart sink
You glide along life's easy way
it's such an easy dance
Until old Murphy comes along
and kicks you in the pants
From my PDF book "Bush Ballads and Bulldust"
Categories:
serviced, fate, humorous,
Form:
Ballad
I was listening to roller skating tunes.
Yes, I am shallow, sir.
And though thou may say villainess or mistress,
I am content to be who I am.
One noon, we were over dull
and our hearts we serviced
like two thieves there
in the kissing place
where breaths are both as one
and the first of many kisses doubles.
He made vows in mine ear.
He has such hands and lips
and his fortunate nature fed mine eyes
oh, nothing was scarce.
Our horns locked together
with the intensest chutzpah
and we well-made our match.
We sparked feelings we all ascribe to heaven.
I would not tell you
I can serve a man
that by slow designs
men can melt.
He swore oaths
and dropped
half won.
Later he paid
the sweetest
after-debts
—he did owe it.
.
.
songs for this:
Find Me the Pulse of the Universe by Laetitia Sadier
Stormy (Bossa Mix) by S-Tone Inc
Categories:
serviced, boyfriend, celebration, desire, engagement,
Form:
Free verse
Inside the fierce beast, beats the heart of a king
No challengers come forth to contest his throne
Leisurely days spent dreaming of his pride
Ingesting meat taken down by his females
Knowing his reign ends when age betrays
Enjoying his vigor as he awaits that fate
Another, younger male, comes to call
Lying in wait while the females are serviced
Inhaling the scent of the pride in heat
Only caution stays his hunger and power
Not so when the mighty male is exhausted
Out of the bushes he rushes the fatigued king
Ultimate victory assured as challenge roars out
Though winded, the pride male answers swiftly
Like boxers they circle, searching for weakness
Incensed at the impudence, the elder attacks
Keen reflexes, the challenger moves like a ghost
Engaging the king with teeth, claws and fury
A fatal mistake, now the old king lays wounded
Limping away, weak from blood loss and pain
Already he dreams of the death that approaches
Maybe his time is over, but another will come
Behind him, the new king begins his reign
Categories:
serviced, allegory, animals, imagination, life,
Form:
Acrostic
The mechanical components, the valve that pumps my heart
The reactive nerve endings that serve a sensory stimulus
The tear ducts that latently only lend lubrication
The silly little practical necessary body bits, pieces and parts
I yawn & it reminds me… I should probably inhale & exhale
I smile because it is simply facial muscles that need exercise
I do mechanical muscle management to strengthen & maximise
Biomechanical body’s like mine don’t simply go frail..
My skin surface is stimulated, & sympathetically constricts.. it must be cold?
My mental function set to maintain a neutral base
My muscles, skeletal system, ligaments, tendons & bony structures
Encapsulated by a mechanised myofascial web, complete the outer mould
Organs operate internally as a well serviced engine, its all systems go
Emotions just pesky little hormone imbalances, from a time long ago
Where we as woman once needed in order to reproduce
Will evolution shrink our ovaries as they have outgrown their use?
My tongue embraces words, my tongue the sharpened sword
I trip stumble & fall and my senses heighten
My pelvic floor constricts & I feel it twitch & tighten
I massage the distressed muscles & release multiple rewards
It’s my body, it’s my temple, my vessel my machine
Not some sensitive, high strung weak inferior copy of a male
It is supple, soft and silky to the touch, all curves & contours
It’s my body, it’s my temple, my vessel my machine……
Categories:
serviced, beautiful, gender, identity, woman,
Form:
Light Verse
Spring in all its splendor has arrived - what a pleasant relief!
The grass has greened and the trees have begun to leaf!
Robins have returned and cheerily serenade me at the break of dawn.
Alas, those pesky dandelions scourge my pristine, emerald lawn!
The golden sun greets daffodils awakening from hibernation,
And colorful tulips blossom, beautifying God's grand Creation!
Pastel blooms of many hues adorn my cherry and apple trees.
Lord, please spare them from the usual late springtime freeze!
The roses were pruned and ample fertilizer was spread.
The snowblower was gladly stored securely in the shed.
The mower was serviced and its blade was finely honed.
Tomorrow the lawn must be mowed - it cannot be postponed!
But hold on! This morn I'm greeted with a grim surprise!
Drifting snow is piled as high as my shivering thighs!
Yesterday 'twas seventy degrees, now I shovel snow in coat and hat!
Fiddlefaddle! So much for Springtime in the Rockies and all of that!
During Springtime in the Rockies 'tis common modus operandi,
To keep the John Deere snowblower and lawnmower handy.
"Just wait ten minutes, the weather'll change" is an apt old saw,
As my lawnmower idles and I impatiently wait for the snow to thaw!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 2 in Carol Brown's "Spring" Contest - January 2012
Categories:
serviced, funny, seasons, snow, snow,
Form:
Rhyme
There once was a ram who retired,
who really was terribly tired.
Having serviced the lot,
he should have have been shot.
But the gun thankfully backfired.
Categories:
serviced, animal, retirement, sad love,
Form:
Limerick
Acrid thoughts flow from this observer’s savaged mind,
permutations monitored by the auditor
infestation serviced by worldly parasites,
chromatic skin quivers in the shimmering haze
nicotine stained dentine reflex the noon sunlight,
while recorded historic slaughter highlighted.
Redundant talons clasp at a life just stolen
the fallen, amongst the trodden eglantine lay,
proving yet again man the perfect eraser;
yet a deathly silence impales the aftermath
infected only by cries of fidelity,
ghostly images belying their earthly tack,
genetic torment dipped into another’s hate,
alas no chance to make amends for ancient ways!
© Harry J Horsman 2013
Categories:
serviced, angst, death, depression,
Form:
Free verse
Crack open an eye on Saturday morn,
and reach out to give him a cuddle.
To find he's been up since break of dawn,
and crouched in a black oily puddle.
Began with the Polo, a fast one I guess,
On day three the engine goes BOOM!
Self serviced the car to cost himself less,
Now there's wires spewing out from the loom.
A holey exhaust, a broken headlight,
and *** burns adorning each seat.
The bulbs have all blown so he cant drive at night,
or too far coz the car overheats.
To top this all off, he then bought a Golf
GTI so it's fast as a cheetah.
It's German, it's black, he's named it Adolf,
The fact it won't start, common feature.
He pulled out the seats and the engine and tanks,
It's now just a sad empty shell.
I put up and put up but still get no thanks,
So I wish these cars would burn in hell.
I'm tired of washers and bolts on the floor,
of my kitchen and hallway and loo.
Got wires and leads and cards off the doors,
Full suspension in my living room.
Im sick of these Dubs, I'm sick of the sight
of alloys and tyres and....just....bits.
The attention these Dubs get from morning til night,
It's beginning to get on my.....nerves.
Just put down your spanner, your socket and wrench
and grab a cold drink from the fridge
Take off your stained jeans, and jump in the bath
Now, where did I put the phone number for the scrap yard?.......
6th September 2011
Categories:
serviced, funny, car, sick,
Form:
Rhyme
The Captain's new wife was "true blue"
Whilst he stayed The Wives Club main screw
But rather than pout
When the Captain was out
She serviced his troops two by two
Categories:
serviced, funny, lust, relationship, rude,
Form:
Limerick
O no, it is that time again.....
My car, it's due for its scheduled service and care..
Gotta to call the service centre, gotta to make an appointment...
Yes, ma'am, tuesday tomorrow is just fine, should be no problem..
O no, it is that time again...
My car, it's due for an oil change, gear oil change, any others to change..
Gotta to have them changed, gotta to keep the engine well maintained..
Yes, ma'am, change whatever those that need to be changed...
O no, it's that time again...
My car, this regular maintenance, by my wallet it is such a strain..
Gotta to have cash or credt card ready, the latter is additional pain...
Yes, ma'am, gotta to use credit card, glad it will do fine by you...
O no, it's that time again...
My car, some stranger gotta to get to it, gotta mess the insides...
Gotta to seat and wait, seat and wait for the services alright...
Yes, ma'am I'd rather seat and wait, so the waiting needn't be stretched..
O yes, YES! The maintenance has been done...
My car, though it is not obvious, I'm very sure it was properly serviced...
Gonna have a smoother drive, gonna have a swell handling as I drive...
TQ, ma'am, my credit is good, I trust you will see me again soon enough...
O yes, YES! Safety first, so my car is well maitained...
My car, everyday I drive, it is an integral part of my daily life....
Gotta to keep it healthy, gotta to have it reliable and road worthy...
Yes, ma'am, my sentiments exactly...
What's a little money spent for a healthy car to ensure my safety...?
Categories:
serviced, anxiety, car, conflict, happy,
Form:
Narrative
The Mullumbimby blokes new bull
Was looking kind of poor,
He shunned Ray's Jersey milking cows
And serviced them no more.
To buy this so-called champion
Poor Ray had saved for years
And seeing him the way he was
It near brought him to tears.
Ray thought ... I'll ring the local vet
To come this very day,
If any one can perk him up
He'd surely know a way.
The vet he looked him up and down,
Then handed Ray a pill.
"This ought to do the trick," he said,
Then handed him the bill.
That pill it did the trick all right
His vigour was now back.
Ray fed his mate a pill a day
To keep the bull on track.
The neighbour viewed the goings on
And sought the secret out.
Ray then revealed, "It's in a pill,
A miracle no doubt."
"So what does this pill look like then?"
The neighbour sought a hint.
"It's big and white," Ray then replied,
"And tastes like peppermint."
Categories:
serviced, funny,
Form:
Narrative
SANTA’S CHRISTMAS EVE
‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was low.
He could barely raise a feeble ‘HO HO!’
He sat and he shivered from head to toe,
As he thought of that ride through the ice and the snow..
Christmas should be in the middle of June.
For him global warming could not come too soon.
He’d slaved for a year, with the help of his elves,
And presents were overflowing the shelves.
With the population growing of late,
His sleigh may well collapse under the weight.
It hadn’t been serviced for five hundred years,
So this Christmas morning there could be some tears.
The reindeer had put some demands on the table
And this year were threatening to stay in their stable.
They’d been on the same rate since eighteen ten,
And the number of children had tripled since then.
And Mrs. Claus was in a foul mood.
She was doing two jobs just to pay for their food.
So Santa decided he’d just stay in bed
And send everyone Amazon vouchers instead.
2nd December 2019
The Night Before Christmas contest
Sponsor - Joseph May
Categories:
serviced, christmas, snow,
Form:
Rhyme
Wounds Into Scars
by Odin Roark
It takes not a wise man to know
What we resist
Will persist
So goes the healing process
Just as a tree
With its heart and initial carvings
Carries its scars with little notice
So too might we carry our own
Those verbal
Physical
Spiritual
Lacerations
Often a suffering performance
As if they were for public view
The small child knows early
“Kiss the booboo”
And mothers are quick to reinforce
The child’s need
But as we grow
We forget the essence of a mother’s care
The mother’s empowering way
To repair with love
Instead
Many wear pain and sorrow on their lapels
Trusting a confused society
Often glorifying pain
Placing many an open wound
Before audience-sympathy
Unknowingly substituting exploitation
For the teachings of maternal empathy
How wanting one’s instincts can become
Innate reaction to hurt
Once serviced by natural response
Too often succumbs to ego pampering
Rather than seeking the axiom therein
That place where accepting the hurt
Seduces pain into questioning
Bringing to bear
The precarious courage
To learn the lesson
Of self-love’s curative
Might it be
Like mother nature’s engraved trees
At any age affliction reminds us
Growing is still the purpose
Injuries and scars inevitable
Like the tree
Perhaps it’s really a question
Of how we absorb
And treat ourselves
From within
Categories:
serviced, love,
Form:
Free verse
Put your toe inside my mouth, I wanna feel you
squirm, there're lessons to be taught tonight, I feel
you're gonna learn,
to let yourself be serviced in the many ways that
come, I love bare feet but time to switch, go 'head,
put on them pumps.
They're pointy toed and shiny with at least a 6 inch
heel, your muscle calves are flexing like Mad Cobra
on the real,
I think it's time for sex when shoes point up toward
the ceil, that Jimmy Choo Manolo Blahnik action
seals the deal.
You may think I'm a freak and you can tell from how I
speak, those pumps can rub my cheek for ocho dias
ev'ry week,
that leaves an extra day to flip off work for extra play,
you work them sexy thangs as if you twirk for extra
pay.
I failed to mention that you're nude with shoes and
that's the move, you got me thinkin baseball like I
wanna smack a few,
from out the park, the rout starts with your Peggy
Bundy walk, the stuff to have a buck of bud
combusting after dark.
See I can be your bodyguard, we'll play like long lost
pals, that 80s song goes best with Bundy, you can
call me Al,
I'd jack these sons like Janet if I say let's wait awhile,
them pumps worn with a short tight skirt? Now that's
the way to style.
Those shoes embrace your feet like Twista's
rhymes embrace a beat, I hear folks talk that bull but
are afraid to face the heat,
my catalouge competes without a Facebook post or
Tweet, your feet in them stilettos baby, muy dulce;
sweet.
Your weight is meaning nathan, lookin fine from
head to toe, these Lisa Lisa maricóns prefer thin
chicks to blow,
all on the magic johnson which to me aint meanin
jack, I'm talkin zapatos de *****, crotchless cream
and black,
dress nightie set, exciting yes, it all starts with the
shoes, the wrapping of your package leaves
exquisite parts to view,
a patient man I am my darlin, come and dance with
me, I'll end this as we move to music, you dressed
scantilly.
Categories:
serviced, passionme, work, me, time,
Form:
Rhyme
"My grandfather's bicycle"
I still have the memories of my grandfather's old bicycle that was a always packed behind the house,it was blue in colour and always sparkling because he always spends three hours to wash it thoroughly. The tyres were so black and big that I love playing with them. It has a bell that when rang every one in the community hears of it. The basket in front of it was where he usually put me if I cry to join him..The breaks were very fast and always serviced..he always say to my dad "the breaks are your only hope in case of unforeseen accidents".Not forgetting the seat which was made of a thick and soft cushion covered with a genuine black leather,my grandfather never jokes with his bicycle. Sometimes I get jealous because its like he loves and pays so much attention to his bicycle than to me..haha I guess I was very young to think so. I remember the bicycle been given to an uncle when my grandfather died,since then I have never set eyes on it. Any way it just came to mind..
Isaac Asante
Nov. 2017
Categories:
serviced, age, allusion,
Form:
Imagism