Best Recovery From...Body Poems


Tortured Body

Night time rest
I lie there counting the stars
as they glint in the Heavens
Desperate to sleep
exhausted tears streak streams
from cheek to pillow
Not that I feel sorry for myself
just simply worn out
in need of short respite
Scared to try to move
as nightly rigamortis sets in
but need is there to move
to free the stiffness
work through extreme pain
to break the grip 
of thise imprisoned bones
to free the body
and bring short relief
that I might make routine bathroom trip
before it is too late
and further humiliation takes hold
Once I can bend and straighten legs freely
I can shuffle around suffice to sit
then reassure myself 
just enough to feel able to cope
To push and put one foot in front of the other
Force this swollen crumbling body beyond the pain
required to move from sitting to standing
to start to brave the world once more
So I can live life to its fullest
The calm tends to come after the storm
but the peace that follows can be short lived
never knowing when the winds direction will turn on its heal
bringing tornados and lightening strikes
to rack tortures torment through my spine and legs
where this disabling degenerative disease desires domination
Red lipstick disguise fools those around me
They don't see me during these difficult times
the occasions I let only those closest to me near
Times I become almost totally reliant
Like so many mornings when I've no choice 
but grapple between the raise bar
and my husbands strong arm
to standing stooped position
Flattened hands search the fronts of wardrobe doors 
sliding upwards as I straighten up 
taking crutches one in each hand 
I prop myself strongly
then carefully I step slowly
and with each  movement new release
begins to fall fresh upon me
for but short time
until the hours play same record over
or the devils bow plays fiddle 
with the nerves in my body for encore

Untouchable

Untouchable

Standing like a tall, confident King
With an invisible crown
I was determined to be his Queen
Loving him seemed
 To be a dream
Similar to the Never ending story
That a hypersomniac is
Addicted to having.
He made little boys fantasize
And little girls eyes’ shine
Like the diamond
I imagined him
Putting on my finger.
I just could not imagine
Loving another brother
Wishing he could smother me
With a portion of his life
So that my existence becomes sheer in his eyes
No longer mere in mines
I have never been so stimulated
By fingertips,
Never been so elated
By lips and a tounge
Never been so saturated 
By memories
He was Hoodini to my mind, body and soul,
Making my body jerk
With withdrawl pains
When his presence disappeared.
Without him, I scheme and
I dream and
I fiend.
 I would evaporate into the air he breathes
If it was a possibility
But its just a fantasy.
His name is Untouchable
And regardless of my intensity
And the love I bequeathed,
I could not touch him.

Dedicated to lost loves...

Embarrassed - Not Me

Before I had my surgery
My body I kept private
Now I speak of it quite candidly
And graphically describe it
I think maybe the hospital
Puts something in their air
That kills all inhibitions
And causes one to share
And like a brand new mother
Who just had had her baby
I’ll share things with another
That you shouldn’t tell a lady
I’ll let you in on secretes
On how my body works
I’ll describe the side effects
And tell if there are perks
I’ll make you cringe or grimace
I’ll embarrass you as well
In my current situation
There ain’t nothing I won’t tell
Don’t know if I’ll continue
Don’t know when this will end
Till then just please bare with me
Or if nothing else -  pretend


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