Best Pumpernickel Poems

It’s that time of year again...
When family and friends gather together..
To share and give thanks for all that they treasure..
The young and the old, the...

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I AM A COUCH POTATO
By Roy Merritt

I am a couch potato, but not russet, red or white
I’m the kind of potato that sits up late...

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Hark!
Peanut butter and 
Miracle Whip collide in coitus 
between two slabs of pumpernickel.

Disgusting eugenics!...

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Kookaburras
are found in Australia,
they are not pretty birds
with a lovely call,
but racous enough
to mistake it 
for laughter, or even screams of amusement.


Kookaburras
love to ride kangaroos,
and...

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They bake the bagels fresh in Fairway*
In the public eye.
I rarely pay attention
Even when I'm passing by.

The pumpernickel bin was bare, though;
Nothing else would do.
I...

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I pity those who can’t eat bread
But opt for gluten-free instead
For sourdough with hardened crust
And slathered butter is a must.

A bagel topped with lots of...

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Golden streams from a silver plain
Watering ruby ans emerald grain
Flowing past ivory cities
And amethyst clouds of rain
Yes, that's what goes on inside my brain

Blue and...

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I fell asleep in a bread box
filled with musty, fusty rocks
rye and wheat
        whole-grained loaves
pumpernickel
   ...

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When a writer lacks 
verbs and nouns 
he's the victim of 
writer's block. 
His mind may house 
too many consonants, 
too few vowels. 

Without vowels,...

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Whole wheat and pita.
French, white, rye, and tortilla.
And pumpernickel....

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I went out sailing on Sandwich Sea
With my motley crew of make beliefs 
In a boat of pumpernickel with masts of cheese
Mustarding our courage ...

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Grab your funny bone and give it a tickle
And for life's dessert try some pumpernickel
Actually never tried it
I have to admit
But heard it was good...

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The sign read, "Just a nickel
for every party pickle
to buy some pumpernickel."
The wait in line did trickle.

For tasty party nibble-
place bread upon the griddle.
For sure,...

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I'm so bored with winter
Waiting for the thaw
That I spread mayonnaise on the ceiling
And Parkay on the walls

Chicken salad on the chandelier
Tuna on the couch
A...

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I love any bread with seeds -
Bagels, rolls or rye,
Pumpernickel, crusty loaves -
They all will satisfy.

Caraway and sesame
My appetite will spur;
But poppy seeds, above all...

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