Best Plumber Poems

I greeted the day, that seemed in a way,
                            to be just a happy blank page,
  ...

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My plumber is here to sort my pipes.
Says he has divorced his wife.
He just showed me his hose.
Then proceeded to propose.
I admit I got the fright of my life....

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Joe The Plumber announced he was runnin' fer Congress the other day!
Congratulations, Joe!  You the man!  Fer you I shout, "Hooray!"
Tell 'em like it is as you did with Obama - show 'em you won't be outdone!
And, Joe, take yer plumbers' kit -...

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P     Pipes corroded

L     Lies, folds, and bends 

U     Under a sink

M     Mans the phones

B     Butt crack showing

E     Extracts gook and hair

R...

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There was a plumber from South Vernal
Who collected plumbing items supernal.
He loved them greatly
With devotion saintly
And slept every night with a urinal....

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under the sink

the plumber

switches rings...

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Have you seen the part time plumber?
He plumbs in winter and a pop-star in summer
During a plumbing job, he will thrust out his spanner
Singing into it “Copacabana”...

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Men at work on the sky,
The welder just finished,
IronSmith started,
The plumber waiting!...

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One fine day last summer
came crazy Pete the plumber
he worked a whole week
I still have a leak
they just don't get any dumber...

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My toilet was blocked, what a bummer
I texted Curtis, he’s a plumber
He got out his long rod
Gave my blockage a prod
If lucky t’will be fixed by summer!

The plumber has read a food thesis
Why faeces aren’t falling to pieces
If you go the whole hog
You will poop...

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With plunger in hand Fred was called from his bed 
To the homestead of Sue a sexy redhead
The water bed pouring 
As hubby was snoring
Fred was fine-tuning Sue till sunrise instead

Hubby woke peckish and went down for some bread
He was still unaware yet of Sue...

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The Plumber

By Elton Camp

When the pipes under sink began to leak,
Help of Big Bubba’s Plumbing I did seek
Bubba promised he’d be there right away
And he showed up later that very same day

He said, “Big Bubba is here your pipes to fix.
I brought the tools to...

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My mind is a drain that gets clogged. 
My pen is the snake that unclogg's the drain. 
So in essence I am my own plumber....

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The plumber came to fix a leak
That he repaired the other week.
"Defective part," is what he said,
Though I think "Shoddy work" instead.

This second visit had no charge.
(The first one had a fee quite large.)
We'll see if this time there's no drip
Requiring a triple trip.

Perhaps I'm...

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There once was a man, a New Yorker
Who was truly a cocky corker
He loved best his wife, and fixing bath pipes
With Bronx accent, a hearty talker

Fifty years he’d labored and toiled
Keeping pipes un-rusted and oiled
When no water drained, the women complained,
“Come fix it!  ...

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